First of all, an awful lot of other guys have been in the same
situation -- really! Hopefully that can at least provide a small
amount of comfort.

Having been in the same situation before, and now about 50% over it,
I'd suggest simultaneously trying two approaches:

1) Introspect on what the root causes of this are. A therapist can
help with this if you are so inclined. This will make step 2 (below)
go faster, but step 2 will work even if this step doesn't.

2) One word: desensitize. That's just a fancy way of saying that as
you do something more and more, you become more comfortable with it.
It works like this: pick something that is a little bit scary, but not
so much that you can't do it. For instance, if talking to a woman is
too much, just sit in a chair with your eyes closed and imagine talking
to a woman. Whatever you choose should be possible for you to do, but
it must be difficult enough to make you anxious. Then do it a couple
of times every day for a month or so, and you'll end up feeling a lot
less nervous. Then pick a slightly harder thing, and spend a month
doing that. Etc. Think of it as exercise: lift 30 pounds for one
month, then 40 the next, etc..

In my experience, the desensitization approach works better than the
introspection/therapy approach, but the best results are to do both.
Your situation may be different, of course -- just my two cents worth.

--Bob

--- stealth372 <stealth371@...> wrote:

---------------------------------
Hi.I was wondering if anyone could help me.I think i have been
suffering from shyness within myself for a long time now,and i feel
that its killing the very heart of me inside because i cant reach
out to people,especially of the opposite sex.

I noticed my decline in social interaction ever since i left
school,years ago and i thought i would overcome this "disease"
but,unfotunately, to this day,with no success.I was working
but,changed careers and back to studying now with through
correspondence, so i still dont interact with people and to be quite
honest,it is a comfort to me not to.Whats worste is that im studying
programming,and we all know that the only girlfriend you get out of
that scenario is you computer.

I started running full time 5 times a week a year ago to get myself
out of the house,and its defintely brought up my confidence as im
very fit now,so i definetely feel better about myself,and sometimes
girls do whistle at me or look at me and stuff when i run,but my
mind tells me to think that they are only making fun of me and could
never be interested in "my ugly self" and im too shy to react,and i
think im giving off the impression that im not interested in the
process or am i just misinterpreting there behavious?Im not a great
looking guy,but normal and thanks to all my running,better than most
my age,but i have always been a loner,and im sure my dad thinks that
im gay because i dont have any girlfriends,although im not anywhere
near it,but shyness seems to place upon you these other labels that
you as an individual are not.(NO offence to homosexuals was intended
please,im just stating my scenario)

Can anyone offer words of wisdom,especially on talking to girls and
how to know if they are interested in you.I just feel pressure build
up in my head evertime i run past them,and i look down and nowhere
else.I hate being SHY,but strangely enough,it does keep me grounded.

Also,i find that the girls that chirp me are in their final year of
school,and im like six years older than them.Should i still make an
advance on these girls or am i too old for that.I DUNNO!!NEED HELP
TO RID THIS SHYNESS,PLEAASSEE!!.




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=====

---------------------------------
Bob Mayo

Email: clbob@...
Web: http://www.bobmayo.com
Primary Phone (cell): 650.996.1895
Alternate Phone (home): 650.962.1645
Fax: 815.642.0106

---------------------------------