SocialFitnessForum : Message: Re: [SocialFitnessForum] Re: Low Self-Esteem, Shyness, Fear, Shame, Over-sensitivity

Personally, I love the social fitness model. The idea is to
start with small activities, and work up.

I've come to the conclusion that it doesn't really matter if
the problem is caused by low self esteem, a genetic trait,
teasing in high school, or any other cause. That's because the
solution (that works best in my case) is the same.

That solution is this: list a lot of activities that make you
nervous or are hard for you in some other way. Assign them
a rating from 1 to 10. Put them in order. Now, start doing the
easiest ones on the list. You should get a little nervous doing
them, but not so much that you avoid the activity in the future.
Then keep doing this, updating your list as things change, and
always looking for new opportunities to get a "social workout".

This is similar to weight lifting. If you could only lift 1 pound,
it doesn't do much good to find out why that is. Start lifting
1 pound, and work up to 1.1 pounds. Etc. Similarly, it doesn't
help to try to lift 80 pounds right away, as the result will be
that you will fail at it and give up.

This method has worked well for me. I'm sure it will work well
for many, but not all, other people.

--Bob

--- lse_buddy <lse_buddy@...> wrote:

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<tt>
Hello Ron, 
 
Thanks for your response.  Did you have a  personal experince
with 
conselour with a MEd, MSW, MA or MS who works with cognitive 
behavioral therapy? If so, did you have any improvement? 
 
I was interested in having a therapy where I could develop those new
 
social skills. 
 
Also if all of those issues like shyness, l.s.e, fear, shame , o.s.
 
are part of the same problem, how I should tackle them, one by one?
 
all of them at the same time?  I think if we focuse in just one at
 
time it would be more productive. 
 
Have a great day! 
 
JB 
 
 
 
--- In SocialFitnessForum@y..., Ron Mills <gdruid@n...>
wrote: 
> At 12:32 AM 9/25/02 +0000, you wrote: 
> >I am new to this group and I am happy that I found it.  I
was 
> >wondering if Shyness is also related to low self-esteem, fear,
 
shame 
> >and over-sensitivity. 
> 
> >         Speaking only
for myself - yes, yes, yes and absolutely 
yes. 
> > 
> >I was thinking of therapy but I read somewhere here that
Counselor 
> >would be better. Does someone have experience with counselor,
where 
> >can I find them? Are they  as expensive as psychologists
are? 
> 
>          Generalizing
quite a bit here - don't want to offend 
anyone. 
> "Therapy" and "counseling" are pretty much
used interchangeably 
today. By a 
> counselor I tend to mean someone with a Master's degree verses a
 
PhD 
> psychologist or MD psychiatrist because their course work and 
practice 
> tends to be more focused on practical solutions and behavior
rather 
than 
> relying on medication or testing or trying to unravel past issues.
 
Someone 
> with a MEd, MSW, MA or MS who works with cognitive behavioral 
therapy, 
> reality therapy, etc. And yes they are generally less
expensive. 
>          Just one
man's opinion. Welcome aboard. =) 
 
</tt>

 



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