Hey everyone! I didn't even realize the socialfitnessforum existed
until I happened upon it this evening. I am feeling somewhat
relieved to read about other people facing the same problems I've
been facing most of my life. I'm finding it even harder than ever
before to live a life that even feels halfway "normal". Since
graduation from my extremely small school, I've been finding it very
hard to make friends with other students at my college. I commute
an hour every day so that I don't have to live in a dorm, and while
other students are making bunches of new friends, I feel isolated.
It doesn't help that most people don't seem to understand social
anxiety- it's like they think that I am this way because I'm too
lazy to do anything about it. That's simply not the case, however.
This is a struggle I'm faced with every day of my life. I cannot
speak to anyone without getting shakey, red-faced, and stuttering.
I have been seeing a psychologist, but without much success. This
semester, however, I decided to simply throw myself into the
situation that causes me so much fear. I am taking a professional
business communications course in which I had to get into a group
and work on a presentation to present to our class. This
presentation has to be between 13 and 15 minutes long and for every
30 seconds over or under, my group will lose one-third letter
grade! I am so afraid that I will make everyone in my group get a
bad grade! I can't even carry on a normal conversation with
someone, let alone give a presentation in which everyone's grade
depends on my performance!! I shouldn't have taken the class, but I
thought it would help. I just want a group of people to hang out
with so that i can feel halfway normal. I can't even talk to my
friends anymore without getting nervous! The other day I saw two of
my friends from high school and I wanted to talk to them so bad, but
couldn't talk myself into going over to say hello because I thought
they wouldn't want to talk to me... even though one of them waved at
me!! I keep beeting myself up over that one. I feel so stupid!
I'm like such an idiot!!! I was thinking about seeing a psych. and
getting medicine, but I'm afaid of the possible side effects. I
don't want to become completely numb to the world. what should I
do???