Thank you! These are some great answers. I really have to think about
this, and decide which one of these i will go along with :-)


-- In SharingZeroPoint@yahoogroups.com, "Tracy"
<tracyreikichick74@...> wrote:
>
> Hi there! Hmm, this is tricky, especially since she was already
> there before. I was going to say that you could keep it very simple
> (the less explanation the better) and tell them that, while you may
> be behaving like an overprotective parent, nevertheless you feel
she
> is too young to stay that far from home where you as her parent
> can't keep an eye on her. But that may sound too unrealistic or at
> worst like an out and out lie...
>
> This may be a bit of white lie as well and may not make your
> daughter happy but you could say that she is either grounded right
> now, or that you've had some "issues" with her lately so you are
> putting some more restrictions on her than you used to, or that you
> are just being more careful as to what you allow her to do, giving
> her more definite boundaries, so you don't want to allow her to do
> THIS thing or she'll want to do all the "other" things you have
> restricted her from doing as well (even if there aren't any other
> restrictions).
>
> Of course a more honest thing, and frankly the most difficult, is
to
> tell them that you didn't like the way she behaved and the
attitude
> she had the last time she came home from staying with them, and
> while you know it was not their fault (here is where you are trying
> to avoid offending them) you just don't think that your daughter is
> mature enough to stay away from home that far away for that length
> of time and make use the best judgement as to how to act herself.
> Again, I hate that this makes your daughter seem "bad" or "not
> trustworthy" or "immature" because she very well may not be ANY of
> those things....these people may simply be imposing their own
strong
> personalities and behaviors on her that don't sit well at all in
> your household, and it probably isn't her fault whatsoever. Just
> trying to think of a way to word things delicately so as to not
play
> the blame game with them.... I don't know that essentially blaming
> your daughter instead is a fair tradeoff either tho...hmmm.
>
> I don't know if this helps any.
>
> Of course, if she really enjoys going and really would love to go,
> maybe just sit HER down and explain to her item by item all the
> things they say and do that you find offensive and wrong and tell
> her that very thing, that you find X, Y, and Z behaviors and
> attitudes and words to be wrong and unhealthy for many reasons and
> that while it is ok for her to hang out with these people on
> occasion, please realize that talking or behaving like them is
> unacceptable to you because you feel it is -------- (fill in the
> blank).
>
> Just another point of view......if you don't think she should go,
> don't let her!
> Peace, Tracy
>
> --- In SharingZeroPoint@yahoogroups.com, "songnote" <songnote@>
> wrote:
> >
> > I'm going to ask a question and i'm not sure it has anything to
do
> with
> > Zpoint. Well maybe. Anyway, i just need a practical suggestion,
> and i
> > know there ar quite a few wise people on this board, so i thought
> i
> > would ask.
> > Some friends of our family who live far away invited our teenage
> > daughter for a visit. They are very nice people, but to make a
> long
> > story short, i dont like the kind of influence they have on my
> daughter
> > judging from the last time she went over there. The details would
> be
> > too hard to get into, and the details are not important. The
point
> is,
> > i do not want her to go, and for good reason. And i know if i do
> let
> > her go visit them this time, more invitations will be comming. I
> told
> > this person i will think about it and let her know.
> > I really dont want to keep getting these invitations. What can i
> tell
> > them that isnt offensive but will stop the subject of this visit
> and
> > will discourage all others?
> > Thank you in advance for any suggestions.
> >
>