evenin jon! an salt lake folks...

thanks for the response...

it's been real hectic for me these past few weeks...been workin on a
project here at home..+..workin at Idaho State University( i work part
time there) an everythin else i need to do to keep my life in order an
on keel with the way i wish it!

i been attmptin to get into the 'group' , but my computer just ain't
up to it..so, i give you my permission to pass this on...to the the group!
i have a new computer comin in about a 2 weeks...so, hopefully things
will improve!
i been usin this old pentium 1(can you believe it?) for many a year now...
it's on it's last 'leg'...like an old horse!

i am also gettin more savvy at work-have to- as my job is continuing
an i have to obtain more skills on this thang...so, when the new one
comes!! watch out! hehe!
it has not been a priority for me to 'really get into computers and such',
but, that seems to be changin...hell, at almost 50..why not?!

i hosted a b-b-que here tonight for out local support group.. 5 of the
7 of us showed!
one came from as far as rigby..almost 70 miles..one way!
we do have a great group... i mentioned that we might link an event
together with you folks should you ever get it really goin..and all
were interested...most of us are in our 40's...an are not 'bar'
folks..i'm definately not a bar kind of guy anymore either!

a little 'bout me...
i'm almost 50 and have had hiv 1/2 of my life! it's really strange...
an a miracle i'm here!
tested poz in 1985..then found out i was poz in 1980--i was part of
the cohort study of hep b in san francisco in 1978-1980..an they had
my blood frozen from that time an tested it in 1987 and voila'..i was
poz for 3 years before i thought i got it!

i have been through the very dark days of the epidemic and lost many
friends and aquaintances..hundreds....literally...
myself i have been near death 3 times..

an somehow i persist and am doin well...t's over 800..viral load
undetectable!
i'm on my 5th regiment of meds..been on meds pretty much since
1984..when i got my aids diagnosis.

one would never guess i have hiv to look at me..no wasting.. no fat
redistrubution...
so, i wonder sometimes what this is all 'bout? and i am definately poz!

i moved to idaho for a simpler and less stressful life.
i have it really good ..far better than most..
'cept i get lonely!

this is a new thing for me...in a new way...IS IT GETTING OLDER!?
EEEKK!
it's not so much 'bout having things to do or places to go..
i got plenty of that to do and go...just don't want to 'run' around
as much as i used to on adventures..go figure? getting naturally older
and more 'staid'?
whatever!
i want to have someone to wake up to and share the humdrum everyday
life stuff with...recently...
i have 'done' most of my illness 'alone'..for many a year..had
interest... but no abidin 'passion' to be coupled....now it's right in
my face!

even just havin more buddies to go and do things with!
this is what i mean also..
i'm not your 'usual' gay man..and don't consider myself 'gay' first...
perhaps this is cause of what i been through..an my past when i was
'gay' first and foremost..in san francisco and other big west coast
cities...an that was many a year ago!

in other words..i dont' crave a 'gay lifestyle' whatever that
is...just some other gay men like myself who can and do move in many
different arenas and worlds...

i have a deep spiritual practice that takes me places and with folks i
thought i'd never mix with...cowboys, indians, very rich folk, very
extreme gay folks(faeries) an many others...mostly straight...

so, i can hold my own and travel in far rangin circles and with folks
who would never guess i'm gay or have hiv...
i don't 'hide' anything..just don't 'wear' anythin on my sleave..so to
speak...anymore.

there's so much more to say..but, methinks i'll stop for now.

i appreciate that several of ya have 'revealed' yourselves to us and
i feel honored..of course it's a bit easy to do here in this way

anyone wishin to correspond with me..especially for 'support' is
welcome to do s
i have much to share an lots of experience with this disease, life, an
sobriety, also!

i'm off next week for ceremony in montana...
then to the idaho hiv/aids retreat.

anyone wishin to get out of the city is welcome to come on up.
the spare bedroom is available most of the time...an the pace of life
is much slower here..another reason i'm here.

more revealed to those who engage me further..how' s that for an
invitation!
i look forward to meetin new folks always also...

wishing you all the very best..an thanks jon, for takin this on an
passin this letter on...

later...
goldie