Dear Joy
thanks for your answer
I have visited Yahoo groups and now I know a little how it works
I saw that there are not many post
I need to listen and to write
I need to support of somebody
my life is unmanageable, that's sure
I have many issueses and I am very chaotic person

my obsessions make my life very difficult
sometimes that are not big things but they are so many
for example today I had an idea to call my family
I had started and I couldn't finished because each time I remembered another person to whom I MUST CALL,
the result was that I couldn't enjoy the company of my friends because during the easter party I was all the time on the phone
then I was very tired and nervous, I took the medecines for panic attacs
then I started to call again

I feel it wasn't good, even if the people were very glad that I call them
I was just very scared that if I will not call them they will be mad, nervous, they will be angry at me etc

it's impossible to phone all people
I am not responsible for the sentiments of others

thanks
Dorota