Recovery-World-Al-Anon : Messages : 20-55 of 580

Hi,everyone.It's been quite some time since my last posting.
My stepdad is drinking again.My mom e-mailed me and said that he hasn't
gone to work at all this past week.It really hurts me to know that he's
acting so stupid but I realize that alcoholism is a disease and I
really need to detach from him but I just can't bring myself to do
that yet.I am bipolar and can't drive so that's why I can't go to
regular Alanon meetings.I'm staying with family in Egan,Louisiana and
they are very supportive.

#54

From: "Christine" <ccoughlin@...>
Date: Fri Sep 14, 2007 3:40 pm
Subject: New to your group

momzy3rn

Offline

Thanks for letting me in and giving me an outlet for which to
share my experiences and learn form yours.  I have an alcoholic husband
to whom I've been married to for 17 years. I have only recently come to
terms and been able to actually admit this to a few people including
family who have now realized what I have been living and dealing with
all this time.  We have 3 kids and I am sure that is the only thing
that keeps us together.  It has taken over my life and I am at a point
now that I do not think I can "accept" as I have read Al-Anon
promotes.  How do you know when it is time to just let go and move on?
I know this would be devastating for the kids if I left him.

#53

From: ying shanhua <dabidzi@...>
Date: Sat Sep 1, 2007 3:13 pm
Subject: Re: Hello: Choice and Change

dabidzi

Offline

Hello all,

I am no longer living with an alcoholic. I broke up with my boyfriend almost a month ago. I broke up because i had had enough of his being angry, depressed, and negative. At the end of every day he felt bad for his behavior and apologized, but day after day, there were many hours upon hours where i was not at peace.

i've been going through the transition of not being with him, wondering this and wondering that at times... and at other times just enjoying myself and appreciating (and being mindful of) the relief.

one of the things i wonder about is whether he really knew what i wanted or how i felt about him. He tended to feel more and more guilty after getting sober to the point where he felt guilty about accepting my love and support. Which is one thing that makes him depressed/angry/co-dependent. I find myself wondering, "if he could understand how much i cared, would it alleviate his guilt and distance from me?" Well, although i have the question in my head, i think i know the answer. and it's "No. Not now." I can't keep wondering about "if's". I need to evaluate my life based on what's in front of me. What's real right now. Not what's potential.

I also wrote a song based on how i'm feeling. The first 2 lines are:
"Sometimes I still want to believe in you.
Sometimes I wish I never had."

Well, both of those are certainly still there, but they're both fading. I've been re-evaluating my goals and dreams for my future... that's been a good, fun thing to think about. and that ache of hoping that he'll come through is less present in my mind. Similarly, I was feeling kind of resentful toward him for giving so much of myself to him (and him getting so much out of our relationship) and feeling like our 'gains' were very uneven. Our efforts weren't though. In fact, i'd say his efforts were higher than mine, just by counting the hours he put into his program. Plus, i can move on no matter where i am. Although i had such a difficult last year and a half... my life ahead of me is still my life, and i have a million choices.

good luck all,

Kira
Shanhua

Patrishat Taylor <patrisha-taylor@...> wrote:

Hi everyone, thanks for including me in your group. These messages are very serendipitous. I have an ex-boyfriend who is an alcoholic. We have not been together for 9 months and have spoken for the past three months. He called in the middle of the night a few days ago, drunk, wanting to have contact with me again. I told him to call me when he was sober. It's been a few days and my anxiety is better. It's hard to feel love and anxiety for him and myself at the same time. Thanks for letting me share.

-PT

jstracick@yahoo.com wrote:

Thanks so much for this group. I to am living with an Alcoholic and to say the least its exhausting. I am engaged and not sure about marriage and recently discovered I am expecting. I am a successful career women own my own home my own car etc and have managed to have some part of my life that has been so difficult to deal with.

Between the everyday struggles that we all encounter whether it be medical with family or yourself or just being stressed its difficult to want to come home to relax and be around your Alcoholic.

Alcohol is a disease so how do we determine when to stop helping our loved ones when they cant help their disease??

Anonymous
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

-----Original Message-----
From: Grace Kennedy

Date: Sun, 26 Aug 2007 14:23:30
To:Recovery-World-Al-Anon@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [Recovery-World-Al-Anon] Hello

Hi
I have just joined this group and thought i would say hello to everyone. I am married to an alcoholic and have recently joined my local Al Anon. Unfortunately my husband has started drinking again and I have asked him to leave the marital home. However i am finding it difficul to cope with the guilt I feel as i realise he is in great pain. However i know I must take care of me.
I hope to share and support everyone in the group and to be a valued member

Grace

----------------
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#52

From: "Jamie" <jamielynn41@...>
Date: Mon Aug 27, 2007 9:13 am
Subject: New here

jamielynn41

Offline

I am also married to an alcoholic, have been for 26 years and we have 4
kids together. We just kinda ignore him around here and walk on egg
shells and he goes away adventually. My kids aren't real little either
but they did see it growing up that I do feel awful about. He won't
leave  the house being he pays all the bills and I have no family or
friends to turn too. I thought about the church but then he gets really
mad if I start spilling my gutts to other people,as a matter of fact if
he knew i was doing this he would have a fit.Well thanks for letting me
spill my guts.The only peace time I get is while he is at work during
the week.Thanks again

Reply | Forward | Messages in this Topic (3)

#51

From: Patrishat Taylor <patrisha-taylor@...>
Date: Sun Aug 26, 2007 7:29 pm
Subject: Re: Hello

patrishat_ta...

Offline

Hi everyone, thanks for including me in your group. These messages are very serendipitous. I have an ex-boyfriend who is an alcoholic. We have not been together for 9 months and have spoken for the past three months. He called in the middle of the night a few days ago, drunk, wanting to have contact with me again. I told him to call me when he was sober. It's been a few days and my anxiety is better. It's hard to feel love and anxiety for him and myself at the same time. Thanks for letting me share.

-PT

jstracick@... wrote:

Thanks so much for this group. I to am living with an Alcoholic and to say the least its exhausting. I am engaged and not sure about marriage and recently discovered I am expecting. I am a successful career women own my own home my own car etc and have managed to have some part of my life that has been so difficult to deal with.

Between the everyday struggles that we all encounter whether it be medical with family or yourself or just being stressed its difficult to want to come home to relax and be around your Alcoholic.

Alcohol is a disease so how do we determine when to stop helping our loved ones when they cant help their disease??

Anonymous
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

-----Original Message-----
From: Grace Kennedy

Date: Sun, 26 Aug 2007 14:23:30
To:Recovery-World-Al-Anon@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [Recovery-World-Al-Anon] Hello

Hi
I have just joined this group and thought i would say hello to everyone. I am married to an alcoholic and have recently joined my local Al Anon. Unfortunately my husband has started drinking again and I have asked him to leave the marital home. However i am finding it difficul to cope with the guilt I feel as i realise he is in great pain. However i know I must take care of me.
I hope to share and support everyone in the group and to be a valued member

Grace

----------------
Yahoo! Answers - Get better answers from someone who knows. Try
it now .

">

#50

From: jstracick@...
Date: Sun Aug 26, 2007 5:18 pm
Subject: Re: Hello

jstracick

Offline

Thanks so much for this group. I to am living with an Alcoholic and to say the
least its exhausting. I am engaged and not sure about marriage and recently
discovered I am expecting. I am a successful career women own my own home my own
car etc and have managed to have some part of my life that has been so difficult
to deal with.

Between the everyday struggles that we all encounter whether it be medical with
family or yourself or just being stressed its difficult to want to come home to
relax and be around your Alcoholic.

Alcohol is a disease so how do we determine when to stop helping our loved ones
when they cant help their disease??

Anonymous
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

-----Original Message-----
From: Grace Kennedy <kennedyg1958@...>

Date: Sun, 26 Aug 2007 14:23:30
To:Recovery-World-Al-Anon@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [Recovery-World-Al-Anon] Hello


Hi
I have just joined this group and thought i would say hello to everyone. I am
married to an alcoholic and have recently joined my local Al Anon. Unfortunately
my husband has started drinking again and I have asked him to leave the marital
home. However i am finding it difficul to cope with the guilt I feel as i
realise he is in great pain. However i know I must take care of me.
I hope to share and support everyone in the group and to be a valued member
�
Grace

----------------
  Yahoo! Answers - Get better answers from someone who knows. Try
it now
<http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/;_ylc=X3oDMTEydmViNG02BF9TAzIxMTQ3MTcxOTAEc2VjA21ha\
WwEc2xrA3RhZ2xpbmU> .

#49

From: Grace Kennedy <kennedyg1958@...>
Date: Sun Aug 26, 2007 1:23 pm
Subject: Hello

kennedyg1958

Offline

I have just joined this group and thought i would say hello to everyone. I am married to an alcoholic and have recently joined my local Al Anon. Unfortunately my husband has started drinking again and I have asked him to leave the marital home. However i am finding it difficul to cope with the guilt I feel as i realise he is in great pain. However i know I must take care of me.

I hope to share and support everyone in the group and to be a valued member

Grace

Yahoo! Answers - Get better answers from someone who knows. Try it now.

#48

From: "Michelle Bloom" <mecaylachuck@...>
Date: Sun Aug 26, 2007 12:52 am
Subject: Coping with alcoholism

mecaylachuck

Offline

Hi. Like many of you here I have had a hard time coping with an
alcoholic loved one. As a result I decided that it was time for me to
take some action. I started a group online for people who want to
understand more about alcoholism and need support in coping with this
disease. It's not an al-anon group, just a group of friends getting
together sharing their stories and hope. In addition I have provided
many articles, links etc to help us better understand this disease.
All of you are welcome here.
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/afamilydiseasesupportgroup/.

#47

From: "John Stockton" <recoveryworldinfo@...>
Date: Sat Jun 2, 2007 1:20 am
Subject: I have banned a few people who are not here for what we are.

recoveryworl...

Offline

I have banned a few people who are not here for what we are.  If you
know of anyone else let me know???

#46

From: Miss Floor <missfloor@...>
Date: Sat Jun 2, 2007 12:19 am
Subject: Re: Yahoo! Groups - SexyJoy has sent you a friend request

missfloor

Offline

How rude and inconsiderate do you have to be to send
an ad for a dating service to this list?

--- sexyjoy3622 <sexyjoy3622@...> wrote:

> SexyJoy has added you as a friend. Check SexyJoy's
> profile here:
> http://sexyjoytrfriend.googlepages.com/sexyjoy.htm
>
>
>
>

________________________________________________________________________________\
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Try the free Yahoo! Mail Beta.
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#39

From: Patrishat Taylor <patrisha-taylor@...>
Date: Sun May 20, 2007 8:50 pm
Subject: Re: Re: Hello. New to this group.

patrishat_ta...

Offline

Michelle,

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I will pray for your family...you need to do what is best for you...it's the only way through.

-Trish

Michelle Bloom <mecaylachuck@...> wrote:

Hello. I am new to this group as well, and after reading your post,
I realized that I could have written those words myself. Like your
husband, mine has promised to "slow down" too, but not completely
stop drinking. I really do feel your pain. For us, the spouses of
alcoholics, slowing down will not do. We need an end to these crazy
episodes and that will only come with complete and total sobriety.
Nothing less. Like you, I am at my wits end and just do not know how
to deal with this anymore. All I can do is to try to find peace in
the many other great things I have in my life. I love my husband
dearly and continue to try to make things work. I hope some day we
can enjoy a life that is free from alcohol. I wish the same for you
and your spouse.

--- In Recovery-World-Al-Anon@yahoogroups.com, "justrubl"
<justrubl@...> wrote:
>
> Hi. My name is Kerri and I am at my wits end. My husband is an
> alcoholic and refuses to admit it. But he drinks so much that
most of
> the time he has to crawl instead of walk because he can't. I knew
when
> we met he drank, heavily, but I didn't know just how bad the
problem
> was until our wedding. We got married in Arizona at his parents
and
> when he is there he doesn't drink. We got there on Thursday and
got
> married Saturday afternoon. After the reception, about 10 minutes
> before we were goin to get in the car to drive to the hotel that
we
> were booked at before our early flight for our honeymoon, he had 2
> seizues and spent 3 days in the hospital in acute renal failure.
That
> didn't stop him, and as soon as he was home he started again. It
is
> getting worse and when he is drunk is is short tempered and mad.
I
> just don't know what to do anymore. He keeps saying he is going
to
> slow down, not stop but drink less, but he just drinks more. I
love
> him but I am at a loss for what to do.
>

#38

From: "Michelle Bloom" <mecaylachuck@...>
Date: Sun May 20, 2007 4:01 pm
Subject: Re: Hello. New to this group.

mecaylachuck

Offline

Hello. I am new to this group as well, and after reading your post,
I realized that I could have written those words myself. Like your
husband, mine has promised to "slow down" too, but not completely
stop drinking. I really do feel your pain. For us, the spouses of
alcoholics, slowing down will not do. We need an end to these crazy
episodes and that will only come with complete and total sobriety.
Nothing less. Like you, I am at my wits end and just do not know how
to deal with this anymore. All I can do is to try to find peace in
the many other great things I have in my life. I love my husband
dearly and continue to try to make things work. I hope some day we
can enjoy a life that is free from alcohol. I wish the same for you
and your spouse.

--- In Recovery-World-Al-Anon@yahoogroups.com, "justrubl"
<justrubl@...> wrote:
>
> Hi.  My name is Kerri and I am at my wits end.  My husband is an
> alcoholic and refuses to admit it.  But he drinks so much that
most of
> the time he has to crawl instead of walk because he can't.  I knew
when
> we met he drank, heavily, but I didn't know just how bad the
problem
> was until our wedding.  We got married in Arizona at his parents
and
> when he is there he doesn't drink.  We got there on Thursday and
got
> married Saturday afternoon.  After the reception, about 10 minutes
> before we were goin to get in the car to drive to the hotel that
we
> were booked at before our early flight for our honeymoon, he had 2
> seizues and spent 3 days in the hospital in acute renal failure.
That
> didn't stop him, and as soon as he was home he started again.  It
is
> getting worse and when he is drunk is is short tempered and mad.
I
> just don't know what to do anymore.  He keeps saying he is going
to
> slow down, not stop but drink less, but he just drinks more.  I
love
> him but I am at a loss for what to do.
>

#37

From: rarlene benske <blueeyesbenske2001@...>
Date: Wed Apr 25, 2007 1:27 pm
Subject: Re: Hello. New to this group.

blueeyesbens...

Offline

wish i could find dream that i could love and shure a life with out drinking all the time

rarlene benske <blueeyesbenske2001@...> wrote:

well i wish i could help some one , but i am shure in a mess my self i wish could find a new man that would love me for ever , there is alot of lost love and hurt here i would be gone but i have no 1 who cares i no good family no friends thanks to my hubby and he a hates when i go some and do some thing fun , he love to bitch about every thing

Miranda Camp <mirandaluvseric@yahoo.com> wrote:

Hi Kerri

Have you attended any face to face al anon meetings? If not I would definatly recommend some I am going to post a chapter from The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous called To Wives I hope it helps some. I would encourage a face to face meeting for you and your family to help you deal with this issue... Welcome to the group and please keep coming I will email that chapter to you seperatly. Please feel free to email me with any questions and I will do my best to answer them or point you in the direction of someone who can (((((Big Hugs)))))

A grateful recovering addict/alcoholic and member of al anon,

Miranda

justrubl <justrubl@yahoo.com> wrote:

Hi. My name is Kerri and I am at my wits end. My husband is an
alcoholic and refuses to admit it. But he drinks so much that most of
the time he has to crawl instead of walk because he can't. I knew when
we met he drank, heavily, but I didn't know just how bad the problem
was until our wedding. We got married in Arizona at his parents and
when he is there he doesn't drink. We got there on Thursday and got
married Saturday afternoon. After the reception, about 10 minutes
before we were goin to get in the car to drive to the hotel that we
were booked at before our early flight for our honeymoon, he had 2
seizues and spent 3 days in the hospital in acute renal failure. That
didn't stop him, and as soon as he was home he started again. It is
getting worse and when he is drunk is is short tempered and mad. I
just don't know what to do anymore. He keeps saying he is going to
slow down, not stop but drink less, but he just drinks more. I love
him but I am at a loss for what to do.

Ahhh...imagining that irresistible "new car" smell?
Check out new cars at Yahoo! Autos.

Ahhh...imagining that irresistible "new car" smell?
Check out new cars at Yahoo! Autos.

Ahhh...imagining that irresistible "new car" smell?
Check out new cars at Yahoo! Autos.

#36

From: rarlene benske <blueeyesbenske2001@...>
Date: Tue Apr 24, 2007 2:39 pm
Subject: Re: Hello. New to this group.

blueeyesbens...

Offline

well i wish i could help some one , but i am shure in a mess my self i wish could find a new man that would love me for ever , there is alot of lost love and hurt here i would be gone but i have no 1 who cares i no good family no friends thanks to my hubby and he a hates when i go some and do some thing fun , he love to bitch about every thing

Miranda Camp <mirandaluvseric@...> wrote:

Hi Kerri

Have you attended any face to face al anon meetings? If not I would definatly recommend some I am going to post a chapter from The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous called To Wives I hope it helps some. I would encourage a face to face meeting for you and your family to help you deal with this issue... Welcome to the group and please keep coming I will email that chapter to you seperatly. Please feel free to email me with any questions and I will do my best to answer them or point you in the direction of someone who can (((((Big Hugs)))))

A grateful recovering addict/alcoholic and member of al anon,

Miranda

justrubl <justrubl@yahoo.com> wrote:

Hi. My name is Kerri and I am at my wits end. My husband is an
alcoholic and refuses to admit it. But he drinks so much that most of
the time he has to crawl instead of walk because he can't. I knew when
we met he drank, heavily, but I didn't know just how bad the problem
was until our wedding. We got married in Arizona at his parents and
when he is there he doesn't drink. We got there on Thursday and got
married Saturday afternoon. After the reception, about 10 minutes
before we were goin to get in the car to drive to the hotel that we
were booked at before our early flight for our honeymoon, he had 2
seizues and spent 3 days in the hospital in acute renal failure. That
didn't stop him, and as soon as he was home he started again. It is
getting worse and when he is drunk is is short tempered and mad. I
just don't know what to do anymore. He keeps saying he is going to
slow down, not stop but drink less, but he just drinks more. I love
him but I am at a loss for what to do.

Ahhh...imagining that irresistible "new car" smell?
Check out new cars at Yahoo! Autos.

Ahhh...imagining that irresistible "new car" smell?
Check out new cars at Yahoo! Autos.

#35

From: Miranda Camp <mirandaluvseric@...>
Date: Mon Apr 23, 2007 2:17 am
Subject: Re: Hello. New to this group.

mirandaluvseric

Offline

Hi Kerri

Have you attended any face to face al anon meetings? If not I would definatly recommend some I am going to post a chapter from The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous called To Wives I hope it helps some. I would encourage a face to face meeting for you and your family to help you deal with this issue... Welcome to the group and please keep coming I will email that chapter to you seperatly. Please feel free to email me with any questions and I will do my best to answer them or point you in the direction of someone who can (((((Big Hugs)))))

A grateful recovering addict/alcoholic and member of al anon,

Miranda

justrubl <justrubl@...> wrote:

Hi. My name is Kerri and I am at my wits end. My husband is an
alcoholic and refuses to admit it. But he drinks so much that most of
the time he has to crawl instead of walk because he can't. I knew when
we met he drank, heavily, but I didn't know just how bad the problem
was until our wedding. We got married in Arizona at his parents and
when he is there he doesn't drink. We got there on Thursday and got
married Saturday afternoon. After the reception, about 10 minutes
before we were goin to get in the car to drive to the hotel that we
were booked at before our early flight for our honeymoon, he had 2
seizues and spent 3 days in the hospital in acute renal failure. That
didn't stop him, and as soon as he was home he started again. It is
getting worse and when he is drunk is is short tempered and mad. I
just don't know what to do anymore. He keeps saying he is going to
slow down, not stop but drink less, but he just drinks more. I love
him but I am at a loss for what to do.

Ahhh...imagining that irresistible "new car" smell?
Check out new cars at Yahoo! Autos.

#34

From: "justrubl" <justrubl@...>
Date: Mon Apr 23, 2007 12:13 am
Subject: Hello. New to this group.

justrubl

Offline

Hi.  My name is Kerri and I am at my wits end.  My husband is an
alcoholic and refuses to admit it.  But he drinks so much that most of
the time he has to crawl instead of walk because he can't.  I knew when
we met he drank, heavily, but I didn't know just how bad the problem
was until our wedding.  We got married in Arizona at his parents and
when he is there he doesn't drink.  We got there on Thursday and got
married Saturday afternoon.  After the reception, about 10 minutes
before we were goin to get in the car to drive to the hotel that we
were booked at before our early flight for our honeymoon, he had 2
seizues and spent 3 days in the hospital in acute renal failure.  That
didn't stop him, and as soon as he was home he started again.  It is
getting worse and when he is drunk is is short tempered and mad.  I
just don't know what to do anymore.  He keeps saying he is going to
slow down, not stop but drink less, but he just drinks more.  I love
him but I am at a loss for what to do.