http://www.aa. org/bigbookonlin e/en_BigBook_ chapt8.pdf  To wives
This is from the AA big book... Just substitute the word alcohol or alcoholism to drug addiction or drugs.... Hope it helps   (((((Big Hugs)))))

nolee965 <nolee965@yahoo. com> wrote:

Hi Kathy
It sounds like you are having a tough time... It is all too familiar,
and glad you could talk about it.
I remember the saying, you can't talk to the addict until they are
off the drug.... and in my experience this is true. It has also been
hard to see myself letting go, but there are many success stories
where councelling and therapy have save a marriage, and family.
Have you sought any of these?
I know early on we did, but he quickly found ways to escape going,
and it was I who continued on with them, as despite his absence, it
helped me a lot.
I lived for years in an remote area, where counceling was not
available, and where I am it is provided under our tax dollars, is
this the case for you?
Councelling was my first step. :)
feel free to email me if you want to talk without posting...
is very nice to be able to just have someone who is there when you
need someone to respond that day....

--- In Recovery-World- Al-Anon@yahoogro ups.com, Kathy Varga
<varga.kathy@ ...> wrote:
>
> hello everyone. i am brand new to the group after reading some of
your emails, i know i'm in the right place. here's my story. which i
am sure is very similar to yours. i am married now for 17 years. i
have a 14 and 11 year old. boy and girl. my husband had a very good
paying job. until one day shortly after my dad died and he got very
burned out on working 15 hour days. i really fewel stupid about
this) he started staying up all night. he lost alot of weight. black
circles under his eyes and just very strung out. i thoughtit was
work related. ha ha :(. then one night he o.d.ed i thought he was
asleep. i called my neighbor and they thought the same thing. until
many hours later the kids got up and woke me because he was making an
awful girgling sound. he had o.d'ed. he took about 20 methodone and
smoked crack. he's very lucky he's not dead. he quit his job and
rlapsed and went to treatment for 2 weeks. determined he can do this
on his own
> and without meetings. (big mistake) another relapse and another
and this time i kicked him out. this was a couple of days before
thanksgiving. i didn't tell him that he had to go to treatment. i
just told him he could not live in our house with our kids and use
drugs. so he went and partied it up for a week. then he decided to go
to rehab. he did good for about a month and then he has relapsed.
this one was different, in the fact that i didn't bust him. he told
me and the treatment center. he had to sleep in a tent outside for 3
days. and study the book of Jonah. he was actually sorry this time.
i still don't trust him. and as i have conveyed to him. i don't
believe anything he says. i don't trust him. and he is selfish. i
really don't know why i haven't left. maybe its because of my faith,
and since i have been a single mom now. i do see how hard it is.
(hats off to single moms.) i have so many conflicting thoughts that
run thru my head.
> therapist some times refer to drug addiction to a love affair. i
can see that. you feel betrade..you don't trust them. ect........
how can you have a relationship with someone under these conditions.
how do you work on it. he says he feels like we are drifting apart.
we are, and on top of that he has more time to think about what he
has done. i have to be the mom, dad, full time worker, house hold
worker, keep the kids in order and ok. and ME ok. this is my
delemma... sorry for such a long story but now you know mine. i am
anxious to hear from ya'll and your experiences and advise.
>
> kathy
>
>
>
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