Hi. I'm Michelle. I'm 35 years old and got married to my husband when I turned 25. We will have been married 10 years in July. Being married to an alcoholic is a hard road to travel. In the begining I was so happy to have someone to love who loved me. As time passed though I realized that there was a high price to pay for that love. I do not own a house (we rent), we have no children (alcohol seems to have damaged his body to the point we cannot have any). Life seemed to consist of him drinking everyday and me dropping further and further into sadness. When he drank he became angry, combative and just plain mean. Living day to day this way became unmanagable. I knew that I had to do something to help myself even if I could not help him. I've left him several times to stay with family and even filed for divorce once, but did not end up going thru with it (he pleaded each time I left to work it out).Finally, I realized that I had to find peace of mind for myself, and started attending Al-Anon meetings. After that I still had the desire to do more. I wanted to help people who might not feel ready to attend Al-anon face to face, and find support for all of us. I created an online group site thru yahoo. I posted all of the good articles I could find on alcoholism. Things I thought would actually help the families and friends of alcoholics. Thru this group, I even befriended a young man who is an alcoholic who I have supported until finally he sought out A.A! I am so proud of him!!! I shifted the focus off of my pain and what I couldn't do to help my spouse onto what I could do to help myself and others!  My husband is now watching a show on A&E every week called intervention, and is becoming more open to getting help everyday! I no longer live in pain, though I still live with an actively drinking alcoholic. I didn't even know that was possible! My heart goes out to all of you here and hope you can find a path that brings you peace in spite of our daily problems with alcoholism. If anyone would like to visit my group site, please feel free. You also can post any article you find there, on this board if you feel it would help someone here! Love to you all. Michelle  http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/afamilydiseasesupportgroup/

mheim33 <mheim33@...> wrote:

Hi. I have been married to my husband for 9 years this year. I was
recently divorced when I met him from an abusive man and an
alocholic. I knew when I met my current husband that he drank. I have
4 children from my first marriage 1 boy 17 and 3 girls 16,15,13. 3
years my husband had back surgery and was taken out of his line of
work permanently. He hasnt worked since. He drinks more and more and
became addicted to presription meds. I didnt realize until recently
about the meds addiction. He denies it and says that he only takes
them for the pain. He has gotten mean within the past year,
especially towards my children. He is the reason my son no longer
speaks to me. I have tried to help him and talk to him but he denies
he has a problem with either alochol or prescription meds. I've asked
him to get help and go to AA meetings, my mom is a recovering
Alcoholic for almost 14 years, and he refuses to go saying that he
isnt like the other people that go there, he is better than them. My
husband does not work, he stays up half the night and sleeps all day.
I work 2 jobs to make ends meet. I told him this past week i cant
live like this anymore and i want him to leave. He is looking for a
place to live but in the meantime i feel so guilty because I've given
up. He is "suddenly" not feeling well and cries and asks me not to do
this to him. I just cant live like this anymore, my girls have been
through alot and they despise him. They are so relieved to know he is
leaving. But yet i feel awful that i am doing this to him. I am so
lost.