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Lost In NY   Message List  
Reply | Forward Message #63 of 574 |
Re: Lost In NY

--- In Recovery-World-Al-Anon@yahoogroups.com, "mheim33"
<mheim33@...> wrote:
>
> Hi. I have been married to my husband for 9 years this year. I was
> recently divorced when I met him from an abusive man and an
> alocholic. I knew when I met my current husband that he drank. I
have
> 4 children from my first marriage 1 boy 17 and 3 girls 16,15,13. 3
> years my husband had back surgery and was taken out of his line of
> work permanently. He hasnt worked since. He drinks more and more
and
> became addicted to presription meds. I didnt realize until recently
> about the meds addiction. He denies it and says that he only takes
> them for the pain. He has gotten mean within the past year,
> especially towards my children. He is the reason my son no longer
> speaks to me. I have tried to help him and talk to him but he
denies
> he has a problem with either alochol or prescription meds. I've
asked
> him to get help and go to AA meetings, my mom is a recovering
> Alcoholic for almost 14 years, and he refuses to go saying that he
> isnt like the other people that go there, he is better than them.
My
> husband does not work, he stays up half the night and sleeps all
day.
> I work 2 jobs to make ends meet. I told him this past week i cant
> live like this anymore and i want him to leave. He is looking for a
> place to live but in the meantime i feel so guilty because I've
given
> up. He is "suddenly" not feeling well and cries and asks me not to
do
> this to him. I just cant live like this anymore, my girls have been
> through alot and they despise him. They are so relieved to know he
is
> leaving. But yet i feel awful that i am doing this to him. I am so
> lost.
>
Honey,
Don't blame yourself for his problems.You are not to blame for his
disease.





Thu Feb 7, 2008 1:21 pm

mystwyngz
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Forward
Message #63 of 574 |
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Hi. I have been married to my husband for 9 years this year. I was recently divorced when I met him from an abusive man and an alocholic. I knew when I met my...
mheim33
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Feb 7, 2008
1:04 pm

... have ... and ... denies ... asked ... My ... day. ... given ... do ... is ... Honey, Don't blame yourself for his problems.You are not to blame for his ...
mystwyngz
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Feb 7, 2008
1:21 pm

I'm scared. A friend of mine took his own life 2 days ago. He drank , he was going through a nasty divorce and all the time he told me that he never wanted to...
mheim33
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Feb 7, 2008
1:32 pm

I am so sorry that you are going thru this. It's awful when you live with that fear. I felt like that too when I have left my husband in the past. Fortunately...
michelle bloom
mecaylachuck
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Feb 7, 2008
1:53 pm

Hi. I'm Michelle. I'm 35 years old and got married to my husband when I turned 25. We will have been married 10 years in July. Being married to an alcoholic is...
michelle bloom
mecaylachuck
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Feb 7, 2008
1:40 pm

Hi, Thanks for sharing your story... Like you, I've been through hard times, with my A boyfriend. He's been the only A that's been very close to me, but I...
ying shanhua
dabidzi
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Feb 7, 2008
1:48 pm

thanks michelle.!!! i guess i should have made it clearer. he isn't suicidal. he od'ed on accident. dumb ass! kathy, ill talk more later. ow i must run to...
Kathy Varga
varga.kathy
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Feb 7, 2008
2:01 pm

Hi Kira, and Amen... Ditto, and are you in my family?????? lol sure sounds like my dad was. he just past. but he was extremely controlling. you must...
Kathy Varga
varga.kathy
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Feb 8, 2008
3:06 am

Hi Kathy, Yes, i know about that kind of life of walking on eggshells. I used to be so shy as a child, but i just looked at the things around me, and i would...
ying shanhua
dabidzi
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Feb 8, 2008
3:42 am

hi michelle, my kids and i live for Intervention every week. we love that show.. and your right you do have to draw strength from some where. mine are my...
Kathy Varga
varga.kathy
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Feb 8, 2008
3:10 am

i am so sorry about your friend. and i know how you feel. i would die if my husband killed himself over me. but also remember. his problems also lay deeper...
Kathy Varga
varga.kathy
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Feb 8, 2008
3:13 am

I'm also really sorry to hear about your friend. I used to be suicidal as a child. But I haven't been since probably 10 years old, at the latest, 15. I can't...
ying shanhua
dabidzi
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Feb 8, 2008
3:52 am

Thank you all so much for your support. I am a person who feels that I can save the world. I want to help everyone but I"ve come to realize as my mom says...
Marjorie Heim
mheim33
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Feb 8, 2008
1:16 pm

Hi Margie, Having a time limit is good. It's important for him to know you're serious. take care of yourself and do anything you need to do differently for...
ying shanhua
dabidzi
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Feb 8, 2008
3:38 pm

Hi I am more confused than ever today. My husband found an apartment and is moving out today. Although it is a relief to me I am very sad today. I worry about...
mheim33
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Feb 10, 2008
3:27 pm

Margie, what you are feeling is quite normal. Whatever your relationship with your husband has been like for you (good or bad), it is a pattern that is familar...
michelle bloom
mecaylachuck
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Feb 10, 2008
3:56 pm

Hi Michelle... every time i see your name, i think "is that the michelle i met in china?" so i just have to ask, did you go to china in 2002 or 2003? Take...
ying shanhua
dabidzi
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Feb 10, 2008
4:36 pm

Hello Kira. No, I've never been to China, but it sounds like a trip I wouldn't mind taking someday. I have discovered that there are many Michelle Blooms out...
michelle bloom
mecaylachuck
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Feb 10, 2008
5:11 pm

Thanks Michelle! I don't have time to write, but i just want to return the compliment... Kira ... === message truncated === ...
ying shanhua
dabidzi
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Feb 11, 2008
2:22 am

Hi Margie, I think that feeling is VERY normal. No matter what happens between people, just spending time together creates a bond. In fact, when I taught 6th...
ying shanhua
dabidzi
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Feb 10, 2008
4:32 pm

By the way, I just wanted to congratulate both you and your husband... You for setting boundaries, and your husband for respecting them. That's really...
ying shanhua
dabidzi
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Feb 10, 2008
4:37 pm

I agree with Michelle and Ying. After reading your post, I recollect the feelings of the day I moved out... great sense of loss, and confusion. Focus is...
nolee965
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Feb 10, 2008
8:01 pm

Thanks for sharing your courage with us, Nolee. Even in my case, my A is sober, but it's not enough. He's making progress, and he has a good heart, but where...
ying shanhua
dabidzi
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Feb 11, 2008
4:54 am

I just wanted to jump in and say something here. im fairly new to this forum, my husband had a major relapse last year that sent the whole family in a tailspin...
Cynthia DeCesare
roliepolierosie
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Feb 11, 2008
12:22 pm

Welcome Cindi, In reading your post, I see so much of my own issues, and it ripples out to the others here as well (I relate to so many different stories ...
nolee965
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Feb 11, 2008
8:50 pm

Hi Nolee, this is a great share... i've also experienced a lot of these things... i like what you said about 'the things we do when we are choosing to heal'......
ying shanhua
dabidzi
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Feb 12, 2008
3:39 am

Hang in there Cindy... You are making the right decisions, and you are clear about your boundaries... Those boundaries are important for you. You deserve them...
ying shanhua
dabidzi
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Feb 12, 2008
3:35 am

When does the emptyness go away? the last time i did this, it was so I could get clean and i packed up and moved thousands of miles away. now i through him out...
Cynthia DeCesare
roliepolierosie
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Feb 12, 2008
2:49 pm

-Cindy, I was in love with a crack addict once, and felt like I would die from the pain when we broke up. I now remind myself that I didn't, and when I look...
zookeeper61
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Apr 29, 2008
4:18 pm

well things got worse before they got better, i took him back ONE more time and figured out VERY QUICKLY that i didnt want to need the crazyness anymore and I...
Cynthia DeCesare
roliepolierosie
Offline Send Email
Apr 29, 2008
5:14 pm
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