Hi Maggie,

I'm also new to this group. I was a little concerned when I first
looked through the posts on here, and so many of them seem to be about
people's husbands/wives. It's a very different situation when it's
your family.

My mom has been an alcoholic for 11 years, and in that time, she has
gone from being a very afluent health professional to jobless,
pennyless and living in a friends trailor which is falling apart.

I know how you feel - every time the phone rings, your heart stops and
your stomach twists into knots... but you just can't stop yourself
from picking up the phone. I've said to my husband so many times, it
would be so much easier if my mom didn't show me any love or
attention, because then I could walk away. She provides just enough
love to keep me hanging onto this toxic situation.

My mom has been telling me that she is going to die this year and
begging me to promise that I will spread her ashes in a certain
place... I just try not to feed into her hysteria, by distracting her
or changing the subject if possible.

I'm sure, like you, I thought if I removed myself from her (I moved to
England with my husband) that it would be easier - it is in a way, but
its surprising how much an alcoholic can hurt you, even at a distance.
Now I'm spending a small fortune returning her frantic phone calls
(she can't call me because she can't afford to - she just calls me at
all hours, even the middle of the night, and begs me to call her back,
or lies and says its an emergency). I don't know if you feel like
your wasting half your life on the phone when they just keep going
over and over the same issues without listening or making any progress
forward. Its very frustrating and upsetting.



--- In Recovery-World-Al-Anon@yahoogroups.com, "mystwyngz"
<mystwyngz@...> wrote:
>
> My name is Maggie Dailey and this is my first post here.My stepdad is
> an alchoholic and he recently moved out.He was becoming verbally
> abusive towards me and it really hurts me to know that the man that I
> called dad for so many years is doing something so stupid.Even though
> he has moved out,he is calling and threatening to kill himself.I am so
> scared that one day the phone will ring and it will be the coroner
> telling me that he killed himself.I know that I don't have any control
> over his drinking.I live with my mother and my younger sister in
> Lafayette Louisiana and am unable to get to meetings because I cannot
> drive.
>