Hello there!

Codependent. Yes this is me too,I labeled my self codependent.
He is sober since he join AA but then the decease of alcohol is still there or
it is his real who he was, very very bad temper. His poisonous mouth/words that
he'll throw at me are too much to handle that can give me a heart attack, only I
try to help myself to be strong, if not then I'm dead by now.
I am still a codependent with him despite of his revelation it is because first,
I still love this man I have no doubt in that, second, I am new in this
place,(US) I don't know anybody yet I depend on him, third, I don't have a job
(I don't have my own income, still looking for work).Or else where will I
go????? Or I don't know, maybe I am fooling myself because I am dependent with
him?
What makes me more stronger and inspired me most.."Accept the Things you cannot
Change and Courage to Change the Things You can". This gives me more strength to
carry my day to day living. But then, I am still very much human to feel the
pain, anger, confusion, hatred, blah..blah..blah!
Yesterday, he called 911 about his brother. His brother send obscene email to
him because bro wanted him to help the new fax/tel machine that did not work
properly and my hub doesn't want to go until the following day, today. So, now i
can feel that he regrets calling 911.





-- In Recovery-World-Al-Anon@yahoogroups.com, Jake & Cheri Rohl <jjcarohl@...>
wrote:
>
> Hello...
> I have been reading a lot of emails on here over the past year.  I read them
b/c I thought I was smarter & was handling my life better than the people who
were writing.  NOW, I find myself in the same boat and what I was silently
telling people... leave him, just walk away, quit the codependency, blah blah...
now all that is coming back to haunt me.  To make a long story short, I have
been married to a wonderful man who has always had a drinking problem.  When he
was working he had a few moments every month or so that were all nighters with
hangovers.  Now he's been laid off for over a year, he's not getting
unemployment (due to our own mistakes), our house is in foreclosure, 2 pieces of
land are in foreclosure, and we're facing bankruptcy also.  So we've been
arguing every day and I was constantly on him to get a job & helping around the
house.  I am a big bag of stress for all of the previous reasons, in addition to
dealing with my mother
> having liver cancer, and I may be laid off too.  I love this man, and I know
he loves me, but we're constantly at each other, blaming each other for things. 
Yesterday was the ultimate, I came home from work & he was drunk again but
making dinner.... I started an argument he got mad he kicked a door in, and I
called the police, he jumped in his truck to get away.  He was arrested for
domestic disorderly and a 4th OWI.  I feel like I am to blame b/c I started the
fight, even though I was so fed up with his drinking... the night before the
fight he came home at 3am and woke me up making food in the kitchen, I lost a
lot of sleep & we fought & I was late for work that day-- the same as a lot of
other days this past year.  I want him to not drink so much... he will drink
until he can't drink anymore!  He's passed out on the kiitchen floor & wet
himself from it, and he's way overweight (5 ft 9 at 370 lbs), I am so afraid he
will kill himself.  I
> still love him!  I want to help him but he says this is who he is.  My friend
tells me maybe at his hearings I can tell the judge I'd like for them to order
mandatory in-patient treatment.   I feel so bad, like I abandoned him, and I'm
to blame for this OWI.  I know deep down I am being codependent, my friend tells
me the same thing & I have to tell him enough is enough, if you want me you have
to quit drinking.  He is a great person when he's sober!!!  But that's not very
often anymore.   
>  
>  
>  
>  
>  
>
>
> --- On Fri, 2/6/09, Linda Gorham <smurfette@...> wrote:
>
> From: Linda Gorham <smurfette@...>
> Subject: Re: [Recovery-World-Al-Anon] I NEED SOMEONE TO SHARE WITH
> To: Recovery-World-Al-Anon@yahoogroups.com
> Date: Friday, February 6, 2009, 1:50 AM
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> If you need to talk to me my e-mail address is smurfette@vyn. midco.net
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Linda Gorham
> To: Recovery-World- Al-Anon@yahoogro ups.com
> Sent: Friday, February 06, 2009 1:32 AM
> Subject: Re: [Recovery-World- Al-Anon] I NEED SOMEONE TO SHARE WITH
>
>
>
>
> Hi my name is Linda: I'm in three different groups.There isn't much activity
in recovery.So please try ALANON NOW,or CARING & SHARING,or COURAGE TO
CHANGE.I'm sure one of those three can help you.You cannot force your daughter
to quit drinking,she has to be the one to decide that.I found that out in
AL/ANON here where I live.It's a hard road.But try finding a group where you
live too.You'll be surprised to find friends to help.If it's not listed as
Alanon look for AA they'll tell you who to contact.I wish you much luck.I'm
thankful that my husband found his sobrity almost 15 mos ago.I pray your
daughter will too and soon.
> All my best wishes Linda D.Gorham
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Kathleen Gray
> To: Recovery-World- Al-Anon@yahoogro ups.com
> Sent: Thursday, February 05, 2009 10:10 PM
> Subject: [Recovery-World- Al-Anon] I NEED SOMEONE TO SHARE WITH
>
>
>
>
>
> My 36 year old daughter has been diagnosed with liver disease and has been in
and out of the hospital since April, 2008.  Even though she has been told that
she will die if she drinks, she continues to do so.  She has a 6 year old
daughter, who is a beautful little girl.  I have been supporting both of them
and taking care of my granddaughter for six years.  Last Sunday, my daughter had
a seizure from alcohol withdrawal after a two week drinking binge.  There were
days when she did not even see my granddaughter.  Unfortunately, Bianca (my
granddaughter) was in bed with her mother when the seizure occurred.  She was so
frightened that it took me an hour to calm her down.  My daughter is currently
in the hospital being treated for alcohol withdrawal.  The doctors are trying to
get her into a long term treatment facility.  I am 61 years old, employed full
time, and under so much stress that I don't know where to turn.  I know that
without my
> help, my granddaughter would be in Foster care.  Her father, a cocaine
addict, took his own life in 2006.  Nothing I have said to my daughter seems to
make a difference to her.
>  
> I am just tired and scared.  I joined your group because I thought it might
help me to cope with this very sad situation. 
>