Well, here I face a new situation... I feel numb and almost feel
ridiculous...I went to a counselor and she said I need to flee and
put a peace bond or restraining order on my ex... I explained that I
went for coffee with a male friend and when he found out he called
me, after being divorced for 10 months-seperated 2 years prior to
that, asked if I had something to tell him... is like he still thinks
I am his. He is threatened by anyone I see that is male regardless...
I have not had a relationship with anyone since we seperated...
He told me his children are not for sale, and that he is going to
hunt this coffee fellow down and deal with him... I asked him what he
was going to do if I actually have a relationship? He said he would
do the same thing... I said what if he is stronger than you? He said
the anger he has inside him he could kill 50 men... and added that at
work the other day... his job kept putting more and more on him he
could have blew up and killed them all...
I am numb... the counselor states that because of his drinking
pattern of 18+ beer in under 2 hours, and the fact he stated he has
been not drinking for awhile, he is extreme risk as he has no coping
drug... and this means he is a walking time bomb... that when I put
this bond on him he is going to snap... and no one knows what he will
do...but the kids and I have to be somewhere safe...
I see he is stressed... that he has stated things to me that I know
are grossly in error...but he believes it to be true... and says I am
doing things to him, I know I have not done... is like what he feels
becomes reality...
The counselor asked how long he has been this way... and took me
through our whole relationship of 24 years... because of the home
life as a child with severe abuse issues, I have not recognised the
severity of his control...that it was present from day one, and
escalated each time I made progress to have an identity and stepped
out of his control... I just was preprogrammed so did not see it as a
threat and in fact because it was better, it was good... like he was
my prince charming....
My god is like I already have had to set boundaries with my child
family since my father's death 4 years ago over sexual abuse and
lies, have no family I can speak with at all.... and now my husband
of 24 years I am having to cut out of my life, which means my oldest
son, and grandbaby will not be a part of my life...
It is hard and I struggle with it all, leaving my oldest son is going
to be very difficult... I already am feeling like just leaving things
alone, as long as I don't see anyone and allow him to see the kids...
I will be able to see my grandbaby and son...
what do I do? my gut says get out and flee, my heart says stay...
just leave it...
am so confused, and what really bothers me is I know I am intelligent
and am capable of good solid decisions... why am I having such a hard
time knowing I should go...and taking the step to act?
My mom is going to pass away in the next few months, and I have a
dear friend in the hospital who also is not going to pull through...
just don't know how much more I can take...
Is like the devil knows I have something to do for god, and he is
making life soooo hard to stop me from doing the mission... I just
wish it would all stop...
Anyone been through this? This ex of mine is always appears, really,
as a nice person and others who know him even well, would not believe
him to be like this.... I will also face the disbelief from others...
he already has taken steps to convince others I have mental health
issues... I do... HIM...
but he has painted a different unstable story for me... yet my
closest friend state I am the most stable person they know...
Confused and lost... any help would be appreciated....
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