Wow, that is all too much for one to handle. I hope you have a support
group near by, a friend or something. Above all, protect yourself and
your children. That's what counts. Good luck.
--- In
Recovery-World- Al-Anon@yahoogro ups.com, "nolee965"
<nolee965@.. .> wrote:
>
> Well, here I face a new situation... I feel numb and almost feel
> ridiculous.. .I went to a counselor and she said I need to flee and
> put a peace bond or restraining order on my ex... I explained that I
> went for coffee with a male friend and when he found out he called
> me, after being divorced for 10 months-seperated 2 years prior to
> that, asked if I had something to tell him... is like he still thinks
> I am his. He is threatened by anyone I see that is male regardless.. .
> I have not had a
relationship with anyone since we seperated...
> He told me his children are not for sale, and that he is going to
> hunt this coffee fellow down and deal with him... I asked him what he
> was going to do if I actually have a relationship? He said he would
> do the same thing... I said what if he is stronger than you? He said
> the anger he has inside him he could kill 50 men... and added that at
> work the other day... his job kept putting more and more on him he
> could have blew up and killed them all...
>
> I am numb... the counselor states that because of his drinking
> pattern of 18+ beer in under 2 hours, and the fact he stated he has
> been not drinking for awhile, he is extreme risk as he has no coping
> drug... and this means he is a walking time bomb... that when I put
> this bond on him he is going to snap... and no one knows what he will
>
do...but the kids and I have to be somewhere safe...
>
> I see he is stressed... that he has stated things to me that I know
> are grossly in error...but he believes it to be true... and says I am
> doing things to him, I know I have not done... is like what he feels
> becomes reality...
> The counselor asked how long he has been this way... and took me
> through our whole relationship of 24 years... because of the home
> life as a child with severe abuse issues, I have not recognised the
> severity of his control...that it was present from day one, and
> escalated each time I made progress to have an identity and stepped
> out of his control... I just was preprogrammed so did not see it as a
> threat and in fact because it was better, it was good... like he was
> my prince charming....
>
> My god is like I already have had to set boundaries with my
child
> family since my father's death 4 years ago over sexual abuse and
> lies, have no family I can speak with at all.... and now my husband
> of 24 years I am having to cut out of my life, which means my oldest
> son, and grandbaby will not be a part of my life...
> It is hard and I struggle with it all, leaving my oldest son is going
> to be very difficult... I already am feeling like just leaving things
> alone, as long as I don't see anyone and allow him to see the kids...
> I will be able to see my grandbaby and son...
> what do I do? my gut says get out and flee, my heart says stay...
> just leave it...
> am so confused, and what really bothers me is I know I am intelligent
> and am capable of good solid decisions... why am I having such a hard
> time knowing I should go...and taking the step to act?
>
> My mom is going to pass away in the
next few months, and I have a
> dear friend in the hospital who also is not going to pull through...
> just don't know how much more I can take...
> Is like the devil knows I have something to do for god, and he is
> making life soooo hard to stop me from doing the mission... I just
> wish it would all stop...
>
> Anyone been through this? This ex of mine is always appears, really,
> as a nice person and others who know him even well, would not believe
> him to be like this.... I will also face the disbelief from others...
> he already has taken steps to convince others I have mental health
> issues... I do... HIM...
> but he has painted a different unstable story for me... yet my
> closest friend state I am the most stable person they know...
>
> Confused and lost... any help would be appreciated.
...
>
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