Hi,

My name is Barbara. I have a son who is an alcoholic. He is truely
making my life difficult. He's 32 years old and keeps saying no
more, I'm done. But this never happens.

I've asked him to find another place to live and he says he has no
where to go. I've told him I do not want any alcohol in my house, so
he sneaks and hides it throughout the house.

My husband passed away 3 1/2 years ago and this son thinks my house
belongs to him too, as that's what his dad would want. He doesn't
contribute any funds for the house hold and I am struggling, trying
to make ends meet, which they're not.

My other two sons aren't coming around anymore, as they don't want to
be in his drunken presense. I love them all dearly and it hurts that
we can't all enjoy each other anymore. My friends are also afraid to
come over anymore. They don't want to have to confront him when he's
drunk.

When drunk, he puts me down and pretty much tells me I'm worthless.
He says I hate him and always compares the way I treat him and his
son to the way I treat the others. I beleive I treat them all
fairly. He's been the neediest since my husbands death, so I guess
I've catered to him, hoping he would get his act together.

He wrecked his car, lost his lic. so that's his excuse for not
getting a job. He has a female friend who gives him a job once in a
while which puts some money in his pocket. I don't see a nickle of
it and every time he goes on a drunken spree.

I'm at the point I want him to leave. He won't. He's ruining my
life at this point and of course costing me even more money while
staying here.

I know I'm enabling him and often make excuses for him, but don't
know how to stop. The only way to get him out of here would be to
call the police and have him removed. Then I would likely have to
get a restraining order. I don't want to do that. There are times
when I'm actually afraid of him when he's plastered. I've tried
getting him into programs or AA and counseling. He went for a couple
meetings and then said it was all stupid. I keep telling him he has
to get it together for his son, whom he loves very much.

He is a wonderful person, or at least was when sober.

What do I do to make this stop? I know there's no easy answer. Do I
have the police physically remove him and where will he go.

Any help would be appreciated. I have grown to hate alcohol and
drugs. Used to enjoy a drink or two around the holidays, but seeing
how it's ruined so many, can't even enjoy that anymore.

Barbara