Dearest Olwen,

Reading your story really made me go back to many many days ... months
and maybe some years also. It all sounds so familiar...

I am Niloo and I live in India ... a country where the man is supposed
to be the doer ... carer and provider.... wonder where all that came
from .. and we have been brought up with the women sitting at home not
even going to work specially some years ago... I was married 26 years
ago. The drinking still happens every night....

The marriage was arranged by my parents as is the custom in our country
and we had to find our love for each other and then make it grow ...
difficult task at times. At first there were dreams and hopes which
took many years to die and now I am grateful whenever he does provide
and whenever he does not grateful to my higher power for providing me
enough for the family. I suppose the higher power is definitely the
provider everyday. I was financially very low when I came into the
programme many years ago but the higher power opened many new doors and
opportunities..... I grab them when they come my way ....

It has been my choice and decision to live along with my husband and
stay together inspite of everything ... have learnt to be grateful for
the good in him since I am sure everyone has some good in each oneself
and also know that I am not all good always.

Just wanted to share my little story.... life goes on and gives us many
joys also.

Do keep in touch .... my mail id is npanjwani@....

Take lots of care
with loads of love
Niloo

--- In Recovery-World-Al-Anon@yahoogroups.com, "Lady Olwen"
<ladyolwen@...> wrote:
>
> I have known my partner for a decade and lived with him for two years.
> He had Hepatitis C, but was cured of it before he moved in, after a
> year of drug treatment - but he STILL drinks! He is an alcoholic and
in
> denial.
>
> I knew that years ago, but thought I could change him - silly me! In
> March, I kicked him out for being verbally abusive and it wasn't the
> first time. After six weeks, I took him back - fool that I was.
>
> I can never rely on him to have his share of the rent(utilities
> included) and he rarely spends money on grocery shopping. This past
> week, he began a new full-time job, for which he must arise at 4:30
am.
>
> He is thankfully too tired to drink and/or go out after work.I can
> manage my home financially on my own, but it would be tight. I will be
> going to college for eight months in January. After that, I'll have a
> really well compensated job.
>
> If the rent is late one more time, I will tell him to leave. My name
is
> the only one on the lease. It's just too emotionally draining to have
> to worry about this every month. I have a wonderful 12yo daughter from
> another relationship.
>
> Blessings,
> Olwen )O(
>