My husband believes he can do this on his own, and frequently states
he does not need counseling. I have been in counseling for over 10
years. I started out with trying to save the marriage, but he would
attend for a few sessions and then stop. I kept on as my life was
complex growing up, and I truely needed answers.
I have a hard time with letting him go, as he is great when he is
sober and he is the only one in my life I can trust. Ironic isn't
it? I can trust him with anything, except the alcohol and an
understanding to health issues. I met him when I was 15, he was
almost 20, and we had remained together in a rocky relationship.
Mostly, it rocked over undiagnosed health issues ( I have epilepsy
and did not know my whole life... as was always alone as a child, and
after when with him, he worked away in camps... I continued the alone
situation)undiscovered until recently. Our daughter was diagnosed
with epilepsy when she was 11, and learning over the past 6 years the
nature of her disease, hit home with me on so many different points.
Is a scarey disease, and in our case is very genetic, so am having to
find out now if my eldest son also has this and our 4 year old. Most
people, when they think of epilepsy, they think loss of consciousness
and severe convulsions, but there are other types. We have had those
types of seizures, but suffer with conscious seizures that can
severely disable your dailt life and future goals. My ex was never
empathetic for many years over my daughter's health, and I found
myself having to fight him on this as well as the alcohol addiction.
He now is learning more about this disorder and is trying to
understand how much it really affects one's life. But, I am aware I
can't live with him as when I do... both my daughter and I have more
stress which increases our seizure activity.
I am taking a Medical Transcription Course, and have been working on
it since Oct 06. I should have graduated July 07, but I have had too
much going on with the children's health and it has slowed my
progress a lot. Hopefully, I will be able to finish it this coming
Aug.
It is difficult living on such low income, but until I am finished
this course it is what I have to do. I have to be at home to monitor
my daughter, as her seizures are unusual lasting over 16 hours.
I do not really know if he will ever get sober. He has tried several
times, and lasts only about 2 or 3 months, and returns to drinking.
We see eachother almost every day, and it is hard on me as he is very
jealous and if I even talk to an old family friend who is male, he
gets all bent. Sober or not, he will always be jealous, and his lack
of trust in me is a big issue for me.
I grew up in a domestic abuse family, and there was sexual abuse as
well, so yeah, knowing and KNOWING really are 2 different things. I
completely relate to having to find out what is going on with your
own self. I am working on this as well, as I see I am attracted to
men who are strong in demands that are selfish. I am a giver and
love to give so this is a hard thing to recognize. I do not give for
self gratification, just am giving by nature and fairly easy going.
That is great that you are getting your degree for Behavioral
Science. I looked at becoming a counselor for years, but lived in
the North and could not attain an avenue to assist me to achieve
this, so I looked at other options. Finally, after leaving him I
found the current course I am working on, but really want to move
toward Veterinarian Assistant, or similar field. Is truely what I
wanted to do since childhood, so feel that now is my turn to do what
I wanted to all these years. I just need a better income as we did
not have a lot financially these past 10 years. Some of it was
alcohol related, but realistically it was economic and the line of
work he was in. (Logging)
You are most welcome for the offer to have someone to talk to.
Sometimes on here it goes for a long spell before others join or
older members update, and thus chat. Is always nice to be able to
share and know someone out there can relate, understand, and
encourage.
Nolee