--- In Psychopathsgroup@ yahoogroups. com, quicksilver1622 <quicksilver1622@ ...> wrote:
>thanks Christine... but has anyone else copied thier abusive partners abusive ways.....? that is the part that bothers me the most..that i am now acting..no different than he does.....ugh
> Jackalene,
> I consider you've not lost yourself at all... yes, there's been a departure but if he'd "won" you wouldn't protest.  So perhaps you have just arrived at that perfect place where ENOUGH IS ENOUGH - of anyone's shadow and negative behaviors, and you are truly ready to claim and heal yourself and your life as never before.
> Run to this site - www.saferelationshi ps.com  Sandra Brown has very powerful information that works!
> You are better than you know.  Don't even give him any more power by beating yourself.
> Blessings to you, 
>
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> Christine
>  
> "Well-behaved women rarely make history."
>   -Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
>
> --- On Thu, 6/25/09, Jackalene <sunnydayzeahead@ ...> wrote:
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> From: Jackalene <sunnydayzeahead@ ...>
> Subject: [Psychopaths and Narcissists group] help.......
> To: Psychopathsgroup@ yahoogroups. com
> Date: Thursday, June 25, 2009, 11:16 PM
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> I have been married(my second marriage) to my spouse for six year. when we first me...he was wonderful..attentiv e, loving, fun,exciting, ..honestly. ..the perfect person.....there were shades of emotional manipulation i had noticed..but. ..all the wonderful things seemed to balance it all out...The day we were married.(a very simple ceremony..only parents and witnesses) we were to meet for lunch...to steal a few special momments before our lifelong commitment.. .i waited for him to show up..for over an hour..called his cell..no answer..an hour before the ceremony...he called and said how excited he was to see me..and brought me a pair of diamond earings..when i asked where he was for lunch..he blew up..saying how he was out doing somthing nice for me, then said he regretted it since i was giving the third degree.i was so confused..and felt guilty for asking after recieving the earings so i said nothing..... ....wedding went fine..he did not want to be
> intimate that nite, nor the next five years..with the exception of approximately five times....during the five year span...verbally he came insultive... i just ignored it...then he started ignoring me...i thought i was doing somthing wrong..so i strived sooo hard to be "better" at everything for him...i only seemed to agrivate him further..yet still i begged..and pleaded for his love..and attention..which seemed to empower him further..finally after 4 years he moved out..telling me he was giving me three months to get my self together...and after i did that he would come back...i did everything he asked..and he stayed gone ...for an entire year...the whole time..he would not answer my calls..but he would call me...he would not open his door..unless he invited me over..his place was a pigsty...i would clean it..he was broke..i bought him food..and cooked for several meals weekly... daily..i would cry..asking if he was being unfaithful.. he would tell
> me..in cold hard words yes i love you..now shut up...no i am not screwing around on you..now shut up or i will...it all seems like a whirlwind... .he moved back..and it is worse than ever..we live in a home that my parents bought for my inheritance. ..he will not leave...and threatens me if i kick him out and divorce him..he will take half the house..and anything else i have..which is not much..as my first husband took everything when he left...
> the last year..when my husband and i argue....i have begun being sooo nasty verbally...i have started speaking in a way that shocks me..it is exactly how he speaks to me...but that is him...and now..i have turned into that.....omg. ..where can i get supports...to get the strenghth to get him out...and keep him out..adn stop my abusive behaviors... i hate myself soo much right now for lowering myself to this level..and for loosing myself to this "man"
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