I posted this last time, but it didn't take.

Yes we hear you. Everyone has different situations though. The good news for
you is that your husband went to therapy right away. This shows that he knows
he is wrong. Most N's won't do that. They think they are right all the time
and they will not admit it. Does he admit he's wrong when you argue about other
things in the past or does he always win the arguments? Having been divorced
with my two children, I wouldn't say they are better off without a dad. It was
really hard to raise the kids and it was hard to get them to listen. One ended
up straying with the bad crowd. I would stay to see how the therapy pans out.



--- In Psychopathsgroup@yahoogroups.com, "sonyaejacobowong"
<sonyaejacobowong@...> wrote:
>
> Not that I think I can affect change....i just need to be heard by someone. I
am trapped. I didn't know to call what we (my children and myself) were a part
of was emotional abuse. I knew it was wrong. I know how i felt - like i work
here, not like i live here. I am a stay at home mom (no credit, no work history
in the last 7 years, a meager bank account, a highschool diploma - husband told
me i didn't need college because he would take car of me) the emotional became
physical recently (in the last few years) I am sure I am telling a story that
most all can relate to. The day it snapped for me and I decided to take a
stand, I took a big one. If the cops would have shown up I would have been
arested for assault and battery. My husband pushed my oldest (16) so hard that
she fell over a chair and tumbled down a small hill. He advanced (the
terminator walk) and I thought he was going to hurt her, so I started hitting
him. It was wrong, but I was so scared. We were camping (with several families)
and I grabbed my girls and left. I spent the night at a relatives. He came and
got us the next day. he has been in counseling since then, but i can't forgive.
I am so angry inside. I feel like we both had an epiphany that weekend. I
decided that the treatment we were getting was so unfair and we needed to be
free of conflict. He decided that he was mean and that from here on out he was
going to be a better person. I am at the point where I no longer care what
happens with his life. I just want out. he says we need to stay together for
the children. the ones who are afraid of you?!? My anger is subsiding and
every day he wins a small victory. I shared a dinner with him and the kids a few
nights ago. I don't want to make the wring decision (divorce) out of anger, but
I don't think I will ever stop being angry again. My oldest has told me she
doesn't love him, and she is sure he doesn't love her. I agree. i don't think
he ever loved either one of us. I think that he "loves" what we do, our
compliance. I think that he feels that if we leave there will be no one here to
work. i am not sure. I have so much rage inside right now that I am homicidal.
He is now blaming me because my oldest is having episodes of crying and anxiety.
He thinks because we are fighting and because I am playing musical floors (
sleeping in the kids rooms) that I am causing her anxiety. I feel like I am
being manipulated once again. I am so lame that I am letting it happen. We are
going to family counseling next week. I told him I didn't have an issue. He
was my issue. Now I am roped into his world of healing - I no longer care. I
think that he will figure out that I am truly emotionally and physically
unavailable and the day that happens he is going to snap and kill me. He says
no, and he will wait until my anger goes away and I believe him. I don;'t buy
it. he is not the #1 sales guy for no reason. I am being sold ....again, and I
feel the kids are being manipulated. And I am stupid enough to be letting it
happen...again.
>