Re: [Psychopaths and Narcissists group] Is this typical fake, or sincere?
jiffy,
it is very typical. notice how he referred to himself in 3rd person (the real kevin). tell-tale sign of a narcissist. he has also split himself in half.... real kevin versus false kevin...another sign. they only cling when they feel like they have lost everything. their sense of love is not a real sense of love. why would you think you deserve less than the real thing? what would have happened if you had stuck with the zombieness for a good 3 days?
i would tell the N that was in my life to leave, and he would go take a shower, get dressed, come kiss me, and then tell me that he would be back after work. he lived in a total fantasy world. really, it took 2 good days of being a zombie and he just packed his bags and left. he said, "i guess there is nothing left here for me." (right jerk because you sucked it all out of me) i sat there like a zombie while he packed. when he left, i felt so incredibly relieved. no sadness.
i think that unless the narcissist is pushed to make the decision, they will cling and keep trying to come back. then you end up with a stalker (been there and done that too). if you can somehow manipulate him into making the decision that he needs to leave, then you have the best scenario. you making the decision is like taking the power away from him and narcissists don't like that. let him think that he has the power and is making the decision. you are a mirror to the N in your life. he looks at you for your facial expressions indicating adoration, admiration, hate, fear, etc.... stop holding up his mirror and break the damn thing. the narcissist will wither up and die if he doesn't have a reflection. he will go find another refelction and leave you alone.
the only time that i think this wouldn't work is if the N in question is using you for a place to live and financial resources. the N might be willing to suffer through your zombieness to have a place to live.
lea anne
--- On Thu, 3/5/09, quicksilver1622 <quicksilver1622@...> wrote:
From: quicksilver1622 <quicksilver1622@...> Subject: Re: [Psychopaths and Narcissists group] Is this typical fake, or sincere? To: Psychopathsgroup@yahoogroups.com Date: Thursday, March 5, 2009, 5:20 PM
dear jiffy,
i hope you gagged and laughed when you received this piece of work from him! this is, in my opinion and experience, just the classic manipulative crap they (N/P) weave.
i have a few of these "i've changed blah blah blah" messages from my past N/P. I didn't buy any of it, and he bolted when i held his feet to the fire.
in behavior, what is typical? what is CONSISTENT? THAT is the real guy. the core behaviors they just can't give up. call him on his crap, and you know who will show through? they same old guy - the N/P you have consistently dealt with.
i think if all of us - "prey" used some good righteous anger and stand up loud... require the N/P to be accountable - then you get to see if it is "sincere." it's not.
in getting rid of mine, i packed, moved, and wouldn't deal with his crap. refused contact. in effort to get that (which was my goal) i simply reflected his behavior and his words - verbatim fed 'em back to him. he freaked!! he couldn't stand it! it worked! this was the advice i read in my research - act out the psychopath for him - and enjoy the show.
PLEASE read up on the other sites as well. knowledge is power, and they don't want us owning any of our own power.
you are stronger and wiser than you know. TRUST YOUR GUT FEELING. TRUST YOURSELF. you are wise and capable and no better time than NOW to claim that.
every blessing on your journey.
Christine
"Well-behaved women rarely make history."
-Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
--- On Thu, 3/5/09, jiffy0380 <jiffy0380@yahoo. com> wrote:
From: jiffy0380 <jiffy0380@yahoo. com> Subject: [Psychopaths and Narcissists group] Is this typical fake, or sincere? To: Psychopathsgroup@ yahoogroups. com Date: Thursday, March 5, 2009, 2:03 PM
In response to my "zombiness," he freaked out and I told him last night that it was over. Somehow he thinks everything is ok, and told me this morning that he hopes I don't regret my decision to stay. My response was "I didn't make that decision." Then I got this email from him this morning:
hi honey, hope your having a good day, miss you, i'm sorry we both got upset last night. i want to make it better, and plan on doing just that. i miss you and look foward to talking to you when you get a break. i'm gonna think of somw ways to handle things, and i think that will help me treat you better too. i wish i could put into words better how i feel. but i want you to know i want to give you the kevin that you saw last night. but more important i really want to do anything i can to help you get back anything thatyou feel you've lost from yourself.that to me is more important. i won't push it and force you to open up about it , but please feel
free to try and talk to me about anything you want to without and fears. you are my life and if i've manged to screw that up, then its important to me to make it better. plz don't think its too late for us, i don't feel it is. you are the one person in my life that makes me want to cahnge and get better at dealing with my issues. and you are so worth it. i to want my fairy tale to come true, and theres no one else in the world that would fit that glass slipper. i love you.
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