Hello everyone..I guess I should introduce myself..everyone can call
me Tiff..and yes, have been with a NP for a long time. But didn't
realize it until I started counseling 2 mos ago, stumbling across
this on the web last week. I'm so new to this..and still trying to
come to terms with the labeling of a very abusive relationship.

Its been a crazy upward struggle for me, and I have come to realize
that I have to save myself. I have made arrangements to move out
October 1st..to find myself and start a new life. I have been with
this NP for 10 yrs..3 of which I have lived with him. Little did I
know it would be worse under the same roof. He is a totally
different man. I have tried to no avail to save this
relationship..and now I am exhausted..with little self-esteem, and
completely heartbroken. I don't know how or when I'm even going to
tell him I'm moving out. I'm scared to death.

I became so wrapped up in his world...his life..I lost myself. I
gave him the control..and his brainwashing and manipulation has
almost ruined me. I don't know how I even found the strength &
courage to find my own place. I feel so bad for him..and I think
thats partly what has kept me here. Is that normal? Despite his
verbal abuse..and threats..I stayed. I never thought I would be in
this place in my life. I should know better..as I'm 43 yrs old..good
job..and educated. I guess abuse attacks without prejudice or
warning. Before I knew it..I was in it.

I struggle everyday for the strength to continue..and I have a month
before I'm out. I just hope I can hang in there.