Nine years ago I had a child with a psychopath. He left me when I
was seven months pregnant. After he left he constantly called
telling me he loved me. For four years we had a long distance
relationship. As long as I carried on the relationship he ignored
our daughter. Then I decided I had had enough of this lonely
relationship and started dating and eventually married another man.
That is when the nightmare really began. There are so many stories I
could tell. However, nothing he did really got to me until he
started taking me to court for custody. He does this even though he
seems to have no true affection for our daughter. He has nothing
good to say about her and in fact when she was born he asked me if
she had downs syndrome. She was and is the most beautiful little
girl you could hope to see. He alternately flirts with me and then
attacks me. It ruined my marriage. He would call and tell my
husband I was lying to him, that we were still having a relationship
etc. My husband was not strong enough to see what he was doing. In
addition he took my daughter three times, 5 hours away. He manages to
just skirt the law, and does not get in the trouble he should. In
fairness, once my daughter was home I would be so relieved I didn't
press the matter. He has failed in attaining custody because he lies
so much. He also fails to pay his child support-until he attempts to
get custody again. It all follows a pattern which I have learned to
read, however it is like watching a train wreck. No way to stop
him. Right now I have all rights to our daughter. We are working on
a new agreement but I must admit I am terrified. He hasn't seen her
for over seven months. In the meantime he has moved and is only one
hour away instead of five. He continues to flirt with me and asks me
to drink with him or to meet him places. I know if I were to do
those things he would stop his attack. The thought makes me ill. I
never want to fall into his trap again- or did I ever get out of it
really? It seems I traded one trap for another. My tactic has been
to avoid contact with him as much as possible. He is allowed phone
calls and he gets information about me from my daughter. I know
confrontation would thrill him. Any suggestions would be
appreciated.