You ARE doing good. But remember at all times  from this second on, and forever, that he is a mental patient.
Most people won't see it becuae he puts on an mormal act.
But never give him a drop miore information about yourself or about anyone or about anything than you alredy have doen or will need to because of business. Don't say an unecessary thing at all to give him even a drop of imfrormation at all, as he will use it against you somehow. Nothing with him is in confidence at all. They betray every 5 seconds. They think nothing about what is good for you but oh do they know how to sound perfectly normal. And make us look nuts! So don't divulge a phone number, where your car is parked, "nothing" gets to him anymore. Not one drop in info. they feed on info. They store it up for further refeerence. I can't introducce my N mother to my finace's family or even tell her their names. As she wil find a way to f*ck with there careers or something somhow. She finds a way. She's secretly stalk them. she will really screw with anyuone at all. sheis that way. She loves seeing people uncomofrtable and thens says, "I',m just bein honest".
As in things like "You look like a fat pig" oh yeh, it happens. I guarrantee you it happens.
I recently saw some really good article about N's or P's in the workplace anyone know that url? It was really good I tell ya. There were 3 kinds of P's in the workplace I remember. It was  transcript from Australia I think.
-sue

Cheapy wrote:

 Thanks guys- I do agree with you.  If I could stop all contact with him, I would.  Unfortunately until I find another job, I see him daily.  He's actually in the office right beside me and we 'face' each other with a  paper thin wall between us.  I hear everything he says  (I've startd turning on music)- and no- rearranging things isn't an option.  I often hearing him talking to his next 'victim' and I have to admit that it DOES still bother me.  It hurts.  I believed in him.
On Friday I took him outside and told him straight up that I no longer wanted to be friends.  In a tactful, yet, direct way-I told him he was a liar and manipulator and that I didn't have time for that in my life.  He said he still wanted to be my friend (manipulation- making ME out to be the bad guy).  I told him that if that ws the case to not get upset if I didn't respond to him.
He sat through the whole conversation with a slight smile on his face.  His expression pretty much never changing.  If someone called me straigh up a liar and manipulator- I would defend myself (and yes- he did try to turn it back around and say I was a manipulator-deflection)  I do believe he's been through this before. And do you know that in the course of the conversation he offered to be a reference for me to get another job-----and told me he would LIE about me having experience with something I didn't. I called him a liar- he said he wasn't- and then offered to lie.
I don't think this man will ever get it.  I'm 30- he's 57 and he just doesn't get it.
Do you guys have any thoughts on what I did?  Do you think it was the right approach?  I'd just like to know that I did something right in this whole fiasco.
Thanks for your support--
s

SD <sue.darnell@...> wrote:

Yeh, I agree, it's called taking a mental helath
break.
Take time off from it.
It's not an emergency.
They are adults and can take care of themselves.
If it's an emergency they can call 911 (duh!).
-sd

Darla wrote:

>
> Hi Cheapy. You are going through the turmoil
> right now and like all
> of us you need to learn as much as you can as
> fast as you can and
> protect yourself financially and emotionally.
> Please, if you can,
> self impose that essential No Contact time.
> That's when we really
> get our heads around this and can see what's
> happening.
>
> That's when the rollercoaster ends.
>
> Hugs
> femfree
>