I wish I could give you a big hug, because it does get better.

You aren't dirty and you have to stop blaming yourself, it's not your fault for
loving and trusting someone.

I wish these boards were more active, but they really, really helped me 7 yrs
ago, also joining a herpes dating board helped as well.

Please just know you aren't dirty, you are the same wonderful person you were 4
yrs ago, 1 yr ago. I know this may or may not help, but look at herpes as a
dating filter....Before you might have given your heart more freely, and now you
can really spend time getting to know a person before you give your heart to
them. Learn to seeing, meeting people from a different angle has truly helped
me.

Good luck and feel free to email me off line if you have any questions
mefl69@...

Christina

"Good friends are like stars. ... You don't always see them, but you know they
are always there."



----- Original Message ----
From: clap_laila <clap_laila@...>
To: OrlandoFLHerpesSinglesSite@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Thursday, January 24, 2008 3:29:56 PM
Subject: [Orlando H Singles] Will I ever feel normal again???

I was diagnosed about a year ago. I never thought this would happen to
me. I never slept around. I was never promiscuous. I have only had two
partners. I caught herpes from my ex-boyfriend. It's weird how this
virus works. We were together for almost four years before I caught it.
He claimed he didn't know he had herpes but he later told me he had
wahy he thinks was an outbreak when we first started dating and never
bothered to get it checked out by a doctor. As angry as I was with him,
I am twice as angry with myself. How could I have been so stupid? Why
did I not insist we both get tested before we had sex? I keep asking
myself this over and over. I know my health is my own responsibility. I
thought I was doing the right thing. Obviously not. I know it could be
a lot worse. It could have been HIV. At least herpes isn't fatal.
People say time heals all wounds but I can't help but feel dirty. I go
out and meet new people but I feel like I have a dirty little secret. I
can't bring myself to be close to anyone for fear of rejection. Does it
ever get better?






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