Wow...how to even answer this. I'm responding with my own opinions
here. They may be definitely different from someone else's. Please
keep this in mind.

Will you ever feel normal again...my answer to that is yes. I too
felt the same way you do. That was 17.5 years ago. I was just a
mere 24 years old and admittedly, very naive. I trusted someone that
I had feelings for. We dated off and on for about three years before
he 'gifted' me. Did I think of insisting on getting tests before we
became intimate? Nope, sure didn't. Do I wish I would have now?
Yep, sure do, but alas, that's in the past and there's not a darn
thing I can do to change it. I confronted him and he denied it. He
ended up quitting his job and moving out of state after that. No,
that didn't make me feel any better, trust me. And you are so very
right...it could have been much much worse that just herpes.

About 7 years ago, I was having an emotional breakdown. I was
getting promoted at work so things there were shining bright!
However, my personal life sucked. No two ways about it...it just
sucked. I went online and began to investigate everything I could
find. Alas, I found this exact website! And that's how it all
began. I made friends here and on mpwh.net. I actually took the
plunge to meet some of them in a group setting, face to face.
Wow...things were changing! I actually went even further and went to
a national event in Atlanta in August 2001. This event was sponsored
by the Atlanta H group. There were about oh, 200 people there...all
like you and me! I knew that my life would never be the same after
that. When I returned, I became involved in the social scene with
the Orlando group and have been doing it ever since. I have no
regrets. I have met so many wonderful people and friends over these
years. I dated some guys...some with, some without. I have my own
opinions on how I told those without. I actually met my best-half
(hubby) on the mpwh site. We have now been married a great couple of
years and are expecting parents! Yes, that can happen too! My
doctors are all aware of it and have no issues with it whatsoever.

Again, keep in mind, these are my opinions only.

So, with that reader's digest version of "does it get better", if I
had something to give up now, it wouldn't be the gift that was given
to me 17.5 years ago. It is the H gift that has allowed me to become
the person, wife and almost mom that I am today. And, I would never
have had so many friends all over the country!!

I would like to recommend the Central Florida information/counseling
line to you. It is anonymous and trust me, they can help you become
more comfortable with the situation! The phone number is
407.263.5347. It's free too! (and we all like free!) You can also
give them your email address to get notices on upcoming social events
in the area. (Social events...we go bowling, comedy clubs, picnics,
etc. It's all about getting out and meeting people in the same
boat! No pressure at all!)

I sure hope I've given some ray of light to you in what appears to be
a gloomy time. It does get better with time...trust me.

Tonya
:o)

--- In OrlandoFLHerpesSinglesSite@yahoogroups.com, "clap_laila"
<clap_laila@...> wrote:
>
> I was diagnosed about a year ago. I never thought this would happen
to
> me. I never slept around. I was never promiscuous. I have only had
two
> partners. I caught herpes from my ex-boyfriend. It's weird how this
> virus works. We were together for almost four years before I caught
it.
> He claimed he didn't know he had herpes but he later told me he had
> wahy he thinks was an outbreak when we first started dating and
never
> bothered to get it checked out by a doctor. As angry as I was with
him,
> I am twice as angry with myself. How could I have been so stupid?
Why
> did I not insist we both get tested before we had sex? I keep
asking
> myself this over and over. I know my health is my own
responsibility. I
> thought I was doing the right thing. Obviously not. I know it could
be
> a lot worse. It could have been HIV. At least herpes isn't fatal.
> People say time heals all wounds but I can't help but feel dirty. I
go
> out and meet new people but I feel like I have a dirty little
secret. I
> can't bring myself to be close to anyone for fear of rejection.
Does it
> ever get better?
>