Jennifer, WOW! That is totally ridiculous! My hubby would NOT do that
either. I have never heard of such a thing. In our classes we read a lot
& our instructor would go around the room & if you didn't want to read you
would say "pass". My hubby sat next to me & when it was his turn I would
just automatically start reading for him. He just doesn't like to read out
loud. It's a shame that your instructor is choosing to teach this way. It
is running potential parents off. Maybe if you wrote or called &
complained or maybe if you talked to the instructor & told them that your
not comfortable role playing & see what they say.

Tammy H




"Jennifer Moore"
<mommy2miriam@gma To
il.com> OASIS-Adopt@yahoogroups.com
Sent by: cc
OASIS-Adopt@yahoo
groups.com Subject
Re: [OASIS-Adopt] Melanie.....

11/11/2006 09:45
AM


Please respond to
OASIS-Adopt@yahoo
groups.com






We started the process to begin foster care last month. After 2 classes we
stopped doing it and haven't decided if we will start it up again or not.
Our MAPP classes were not what we expected. The content was fine but the
way they taught their classes was what we had a problem with. Long story,
but I would love to know if it's just our county or how other places teach
their MAPP classes.

For example it was all hands on. For instance when they were going over
scenarios we might encounter, instead of reading about them and having
discussions we would role play everything. They call it role play but I
don't. In a real role play situation you are there to figure out what it
might be like to walk in someones shoes. This was not the case, it was 100%
scripted and the adults in the class "played" a mom and dad and their 2
kids. The 2 kids were young so they had to crawl on the floor the whole
time. It went on for about 2 hours. The teacher would say "Okay children
grab dad's legs, now dad push them away, now kids cry and pitch fits on the
floor." And the participants literally did all of that. For 2 hours 2
adults crawled around on the floor and pitched fits by rolling around. At
the end it was told that everyone would be expected to play all the roles
at some point. There was no way my DH was rolling around on the floor for 2
hours. I a! sked the teacher afterwards why we could not have just read the
scenario and discussed it like adults including how it would make us feel.
She said that they have found that some of the people taking the class
don't read as well as others and since they would have trouble
comprehending what was written they found it easier to act everything out.

We never went back after that. I don't want to sound like we are better
than anyone else but good grief. It is a class for adults, I expected it to
be treated that way. I am not sure if we will just suck it up so to speak
and go back or give it up altogether. We do have some private foster
agencies around here so I am looking into how they teach their MAPP
classes.

If it's too personal I understand but if anyone has been through MAPP I
would love to hear your experiences. Is this just the way it is or just the
way it is here?

Blessings,
Jennifer

On 11/10/06, Karen Grant-Tolman <kmegrant@...> wrote:


I was told in my state (MO) it isnt a straight foster adopt but the
first
plan is reunification with the bios. Sometimes I
think I can handle it until we have one we can keep -
and sometimes I wonder if I can.

Every state is that way. The first plan is to take them from the
bios and put into fostercare and reunify them with the parents and if
that fails for whatever reasons then they are up for adoption and the
foster parents get first refusal. That is one big downfall!


Infants aren't available for even fostering as they have a long
waiting list already. Which is okay (I guess).

Don't buy into that one. We got a newborn as our first placement.
Once you are liscenced they will ask what ages you want and you can
state and they will try to match you with that age, however they will
also try to get you to take other ages, just stand your ground and it
could take a few years but it may just happen!


My dh
is also worried about the cost of international
adoption. I'm nost sure what specific questions to ask
you! Sometimes they get judgmental on the lists about
people who want to adopt rather than *just* foster.

I found a lot of people on the lists are professional parents. They
either have adopted a few or none and just do fostercare as a job
basically. I found there are three types of people that do
fostercare
1. Infertiles that want a family
2. People that do it for a living
3. Older persons that need to supplement their retirmeent income

That is my experience anyway around here, Maine.

I won't dive into too much but my husband and I are in the adoption
phase now with our daughter who we got as a newborn, 2 days old. She
is now 27 months old. We woudl go to the end of the planet for her
however for an unknown child, never again. We came too close to
losing her to her bio a few times and then when bio had rights
terminated we had a horrible case worker who thought that people with
more money than us and a bigger house etc should raise our daughter
and he moved her. We had no legal grounds. I fought with all we had
and we got her home in 10 days but those were the worst 10 days of my
life and I will NEVER go through this again, EVER. Once our adoption
is done I will be more than happy to share all the gory details as I
have pages and pages of notes and conversations that were lies etc.
It was just horrific.

One thing you can do and I know Tammy H did this was just do
adoption. You get liscencsed the same way as fostering however
instead of doing fostercare first you just sign up to adopt.
Children that are cleared for adoption then are the ones that you
would meet and visit with and potentially go from there for adoption.
I would recommend this route but also ask questions like why are the
fosterparents not adopting this child? Go in eyes wide open and you
can come out a great family. We were just too nieve to believe the
system could be as bad as it is this day in age and it about killed
us in the process.

Hugs
Karen