> Warning from the Ministry of Health: Other diseases
> in S'pore - Laura of NEA
>
> DIESEASES YOU MIGHT ALL HAVE TO WARN OTHERS BE IT
> NOW OR IN THE FUTURE!
>
> As if we didn't have enough to worry about with the
> outbreaks of
> severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS), the
> Ministry of Health is now asking the public to be on
> the lookout for symptoms of the following new
> contagious diseases:
>
> ASSMA
> Severe rashes around the mouth caused by kissing too
> much ass.
> The No. 1 disease in Singapore. Civil servants and
> those frequently engage in office politics are
> unusually, at risk.
>
> DIALARRHOEA
> Uncontrollable urge to continually dial friends on
> mobile phone to share with them such important
> information as "I'm now on the MRT" or "I'm walking
> towards the car." Victims can be recognized by
> large, twitching thumb.
>
> MEESLES
> Blotchy skin condition caused by eating too many
> packets of
> instant noodles.
>
> MULTIPLE SPOUSOSIS
> Affliction whereby victims make frequent trips to
> Bintan, Batam and
> China to take on additional brides or mates.
> Middle-aged men are at significant risk.
>
> YELLOW FEVER
> Compulsion to date Asian females. Very common
> affliction amongst foreign talent/expatriates
> working in Singapore. Also known as Pinkerton's
> Syndrome.
>
> TOTONUS
> Flushed complexion, high blood pressure and
> sometimes depression at finding out one has not
> touched lottery.
>
> HEAVYTITIS
> Excessively large breasts. This disease comes in
> several variant
> strains: Heavytitis A, Heavytitis B, Heavytitis C
> and sometimes Heavytitis DD.
>
> CYBERTENSION
> Feelings of stress and panic caused by lack of
> internet access.
>
> DYEBETES
> A compulsive need to colour one's hair. Reddish
> brown tints are the most common symptom, but health
> authorities have reported a new strain of blond
> highlights.
>
> CHICKEN TOX
> Victims exhibit a great need to talk cock. Incurable
> and highly contagious. Spread by ordinary
> conversation, and may be exacerbated by good food
> and alcohol. Politicians and lawyers are especially
> susceptible. Incurable.
>
> Warning From Ministry of Health
>

=====
Saravanan (Velu)
Love All & Serve All

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