Hello,

I seem to be involved in a viscious circle of fibromyalgia,
narcolepsy,depression, anxiety, fatigue, and stress....each feeds the other.

Am I going crazy? I may be there, half there, but who knows????? Crazy is
neither abstact nor absolute...it is quite subjective and is perceived in
arbitrary degrees.

I do take Prozac, Valium, and ,now Provigil , . I am not addicted in that I
do not continually want more meds, but I am damned sure not going off the
Prozac or Valium..tried that and all Hell broke loose in my being,
physically, mentally. etc.

I really doubt that one becomes addicted to any antidepressant. I believe
addiction includes a need for ever increasing amounts of the thing addicted
to. My Prozac and Valium are not that way.

A person going off any med can experience great difficulties, even though
not truly addicted to that med.

The suicide thought does occur and even haunt me, but I will never do it as
long as I am able to get around and the Sun rises and sets. A painful,
miserable illness would perhaps bring it on.

I do have some strange thoughts, living several lives at once in a strange
way, I do have some disturbing thoughts.

There is one thing I do that helps me. I slow jog for 60 minutes a day
almost everyday. It is not easy with fibromyalgia; but it does help a great
deal and is a great med with minimal negative side effects. I always feel
better after the jog..because I WILL it to be so amd, thus, it is so.

Good luck in dealing with your demons.

Let me know if I can be of any assistance whatsoever to you or myself...

Make a great day from yourself..npbody else can or will...I am going jogging
to kick some of my demons' butts..

Take care my friend...donpat......
----- Original Message -----
From: "lupineita" <binkydeath@...>
To: <Narcolepsy-Chat@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Saturday, April 12, 2003 9:11 AM
Subject: [Narcolepsy-Chat] Is anyone else going crazy??


I just needed to ask one more thing really...

Is anyone else going crazy? I mean - all the hallucinations and
things for years - I didn't know which reality I was waking up in or
if I was ever actually awake. Has anyone else ever felt like that
all the time?? Like they were being watched or experimented on?

I read one narcolepsy webpage that mentioned narcolepsy being
misdiagnosed as schitzophrenia and I have to be honest, until they
told me I was narcoleptic a couple of weeks ago I really really
really honestly thought I was plain crazy. Hearing voices, seeing
things, I don't know what I'm doing any more. It hasn't been this
bad for years - but I've been off anti-depressants a while now and
those things are used for treating the hallucinations aren't they???

I thought I was addicted to anti-depressants even though the doctor
said you can't get addicted to them!! But maybe I really did NEED
them for life if I am narcoleptic. I really think I'm going crazy
but I need to know for sure!!!

I'm not so depressed I will commit suicide - but if it's the only
way to stop feeling like this then I genuinely see no way out!!!!

PLEASE - is there anybody else out there who feels this way and NOT
just that they've been depressed??? I know I've got
stupid 'classic' symptoms and everything like the stupid so-called
hallucinations and the collapsing and everything.

I feel soooo pathetic even admitting this to people but I'm so close
to giving up now. Maybe I am just crazy. If I am then there's
really no point to anything now is there??? Pleeeeeease can anybody
tell me this isn't just me??????

I know I'm pathetic but I don't care who knows any more - I JUST
WANT HELP

Doctors teachers parents friends collegues psychiatrists social
services everyone and anyone I've ever asked for help either won't
believe me or won't help. This really is the last place to ask...

PLEASE CAN SOMEONE HELP





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