Great that you are visiting. A few months ago I was looking at my
injuries and realized I was exercise bulimic. I got into outpatient
treatment in a dual diagnosis program. Even though it wasn't ED
specific, I had attention from someone in the field who was very,
very good. But not all is always well. Im not always close to
recovery. I once heard it explained that we need to stay in the
center of recovery to keep a safe, comfortable place in. Today I
found myself kinda outside the circle. Let me explain.

Today, I found myself very high strung. Do you know what? The closer
I stay in my feelings, the safer I actually am. The healthier I
actually am. I went to make my dad a CD for his birthday, and in
picking music that I knew he would like, rather than ....you know,
grab Neil Young's 'the needle and the damage done' (I'm an old
druggie, too) and MAKE it MAKE sense to HIM, which I am NOT doing, I
actually cried. Just in making him a nice cd for his birthday. Just
in being considerate and not self centered for once in my life.
Whatever that's about, it needs to be felt, I think. How out of touch
am I about my feelings about family?

I'm going to make him another CD now. There are more songs that he
would like. LIke this one by Tim McGraw about having no money, but
livin' a big lifestyle. Good god. If you only knew how much I hate
country music! Sorry if that offends you. Allison