Here's another sparkling moment. When I went to try on clothes for
New Years and a shirt made me look fat. It was the style. I was
like "Off with that shirt!" REalizing that it was the shirt, not me
that gave that impresssion. I don't need to lose weight to look less
this or that for ANY garment. Garments are not worth it. I am.
Happy New Year everyone!



--- In MyEDHelpSupport@yahoogroups.com, "allisonbiszantz"
<biszanta@...> wrote:
>
> I hope I am not giving away trade secrets here. To Lisa R. and Ari,
I
> miss you both. The holidays are especially full of breakups. The
> idea here is that you survive, do the best you can, keep reaching
out
> and call me once in a while as you do your other friends.
>
> I have an assignment at treatment, after doing an essay on Life
with
> Ed, the challenge becomes Life without Ed. I hope to do this essay
> before discharge in late January.
>
> I have been really depressed lately and that doesn't help.
>
> But, in the meantime, I have been keeping track of what our
therapist
> calls sparkling moments and thought I'd share them here . There's
> only a few so far.
>
> The thought that I am ok the way I am right now.
>
> The idea that I should pray for what I have, not for what I want.
> (this is a big gratitude move-sorta thematically like Sheryl Crow
song
> 'soak up the sun.')
>
> Awakening out of bed without a thought about weight, but all about
> human development-reading my OA literature. Praying to be free from
> binge eating and the urge to purge and thanking god for this
> consciousness.
>
> When I realize that I can hold onto something, anything, to keep my
> urges down.
>
> The way I pray for clarity and meditate by shutting down my mind so
> still it is like a cobra, all fanned out and waiting to strike.
> Steely-still. It's hard to binge in that state.
>
> The day I went to the grocery store and forgot all about the
scale's
> existence.
>
> The day I realized that change happens slowly but we can work for
it
> every day and notice the small things.
>
> THAT'S IT.
>
> Many of you may think I'm nuts, but I would never have had any of
> these NON ED thoughts before starting treatment and beginning to
read
> eastern philosophy. In fact, I used a confucious quote in my
journal
> and am going now to read my oa literature and a few passages by the
> dalai lama.
>
> By the way, I still have plenty of disordered thinking, but maybe
> today can be a better day than yesterday.
>
> Let's fire up this message board into a world of empowerment and
> people reaching out for health.
>
>
> Love
>
> Allison
>