Brantford Expositor, June 24 2005
Editorial
David Judd

Turmel stars in DVD

John Turmel is a man of many talents. He is an engineer,
professional poker player, advocate for legalized marijuana,
enemy of banks and the 1997 holder of the world record for
most losing attempts at being elected to office.

He is also an egotistical pain in the butt, a scold so
unrelenting and full of himself that you can take him only
in small doses. Next to Turmel, Stephen Harper is a fun-
loving guy.

If you see Turmel coming toward you - you'll recognized his
yellow hard hat with "Turmel the Engineer" written on it -
run as fast as you can unless you enjoy multi-minute
monologues on economics, poker systems and the health
benefits of drinking urine.

Turmel stars in a 2-1/2 hour documentary released this
spring on DVD, a copy of which made its way to The
Expositor. It's called - what else? - Turmel, a documentary
by Christopher and Chad Csomor; produced by Christopher
Csomor; music performed by John C. Turmel (on the
accordion); shot and directed by Christopher and Chad
Csomor.

NOT FOR STUPID PEOPLE

The DVD bears the warning "This material is not recommended
for stupid people." Judging from the DVD, stupid people
include everyone who believes gambling ought to be illegal,
marijuana should be banned and that banks provide a good
service by lending money.

Turmel has his followers, among them the Csomor brothers of
Brantford who were so impressed with Turmel when they met
him last year that they put to this film on what must have
been a $1.98 budget. The film was shot on a single digital
camera without rehearsals. "To preserve the integrity of the
subject matter, no outside financing has been garnered."

The DVD sells for $29.99. It can be ordered at
http://www.TurmelMovie.com

Turmel the movie is not really a documentary. It does not
explain Turmel or put him in context.

The movie is a series of rants or scenes from Turmel's life:
Turmel in yellow hard hat handing out flyers at the corner
of Colborne and Dalhousie streets during last year's federal
election;

JCT: What corner of these two parallel East-West streets?

Turmel and a bunch of guys in somebody's rec room slagging
banks for charging interest on loans; Turmel all excited as
he enters the Supreme Court of Canada building in Ottawa to
file documents about the legality of marijuana; Turmel
showing off his scrap book of newspaper clippings
chronicling his run-ins with the law over operating card
games in the Ottawa area and Turmel expounding on why he
deserves the Nobel prizes for peace and science.

JCT: He forgot Economics too.

Turmel, 54, is highly intelligent. According to the movie's
web site, he graduated from Carleton University with a BA in
electrical engineering in 1969 when he was only 18 years
old. Later, at Carleton, he studied the mathematics of
gambling.

For the last 15 years, Turmel has made his living playing
poker. He claims to be one of the world's greatest poker
players and sells a system to help players increase their
chance of winning.

Turmel loves nothing better than to bait the system. There's
a gleam in his eye as he pontificates from his easy chair
about stupid people, his arms raising and falling
rhythmically in full rant. (Yes, he takes a shot at the
Expositor's election coverage last year.)

The documentary makes no mention of a spouse or children,
although at one point, Turmel is upset because thieves in
Brantford have vandalized his mother's car.

KIDNEY MILK

Last year, Turmel moved to Brantford where he can play poker
at the casino, preach about marijuana and the injustice of
the Canadian economy and run as an independent candidate in
last June's federal election.

This was attempt number 58 at running for public office. He
received 373 votes. Turmel has never been elected to
anything. It doesn't matter. Turmel revels in the attention.

Turmel also plays the accordion with gusto.

No one except a Turmel true-believer would sit through the
DVD's 2-1/2 hours. It took me several nights to watch it bit
by bit.

The absolute low point comes at the 1 hour 54 minute mark
when Turmel discusses the benefits of urine therapy. To him,
urine is "kidney milk" and "God's own medicine."

As Turmel talks to the camera, he turns his back, apparently
unzips his pants and urinates into a mug. Turmel then chugs
down the amber liquid.

Is it the real thing, or did Turmel substitute a mug of beer
or iced tea?

Does it matter? Turmel the man and the movie desire to shock
in a schoolboy way.

One good thing. Turmel the documentary will settle the
question of how many stupid people are in Canada. Just check
how many have forked out $29.99 for the DVD.

David Judd is the Expositor's managing editor.


--
Abolitionist Slave Leader John C."The Banking Systems Engineer" Turmel
for UNILETS interest-free time-based currency in U.N. resolution C6
to Governments in the http://www.un.org/millennium/declaration.htm
http://www.cyberclass.net/turmel 519-753-0645 USENET: can.politics