Thank you, Riverwind....except.....it was my 31 yr professional career that ended.....maritally?....intimacy.....but I receive little "concern" or "care" from my husband about "this"......it is an "unspoken" situation that is "my life"....not his.  He is 65, I am 59. One day our life was very normal, and in one hour, 100% destroyed.  He is more concerned his sex life ended and has no "understanding???" that when that was done.....MINE did, too, much more than his, because mine is more than intimacy....it started a "reversed life"...having to wear a diaper and every horrid emotion and life-change this implemented.

 

Riverwind, your perception of a "ladies side" should be for both male and female. It is a sad parallel when we SEE a person with an "affliction"....a child or adult.....but for those whose "affliction" cannot be seen, i.e., missing limb, wheelchair, blind.....the compassion we need to give others is usually non-existent.

 

In our situation, people on this site, we all DO know and understand, and when we wish we had understanding, the same as others, and do not get that.....especially from family who has SEEN the WHY of what we are living with.....THAT is a compounded HURT.....that is worse than the entire incontinece situation.

 

Sometimes we wish we could say....."oh, if YOU walked in my moccasins".....but we don't....so, we, or I, keep my mouth shut......when I wake up in a wet bed.....EVERY TIME....the "humiliation floods me".....and I start the day "dealing with it."  After 2 1/2 yrs, I should "be used to it?"  Never.  And, I get NO "care" from husband.  I deal with it on my own, acting like "Miss Suzy Homemaker" with a "devil may care happy" attitude, and all the time, I am crying on the inside......just like you......and all of us......male or female.

 

Melody