This is from a female to the man in Erie, Penn, and the 2 men who have written caring, supportive, encouraging, and understanding responses.

 

What we all live with, and I DO understand the male feelings and thoughts, WILL be understood by a female who cares about you.  When you were younger you were severely injured in a car accident and almost died. The accident caused permanent damages to your nerves controlling body elminations.  You cannot do anything about it, nor can this be medically cured.   It is your life.

 

You are a giving caring man who desires what every man, and woman, desires - a caring relationship with the opposite sex.  It is HARD for both man and/or woman to TELL anyone about "this."  And, for some people, it can be very HARD to understand or accept about a man and/or woman one would be interested in, dating or more serious relationship.  But, there ARE men and women who DO and WILL understand.

 

Because we are in our "group" WE do understand.  However, please read this. I'll try and be brief.  For 55 yrs, I was "normal."  I started urge incontinence 2 xs a month ...6 months AFTER a spinal cord injury.

 

My neurogenic bladder was not tested at all. A uro literately ripped me to shreds performing a cystoscopy.

 

Result?  At age 55, I went from infrequent incontinence to 24/7.  I went to 2 uros after him who refused to order the retrograde to show the damages cause they didn't want to "go against a peer."  I got "blackballed" medically. And, I started wearing diapers and I wet the bed every night, padding or not for the past 2 1/2 years. I had to END my 31 yr successful career. Marital intimacy ended...and with this "new life?"....my husband was "leary" of taking me anywhere for fear I would have an "accident."  That scenerio remains today.

 

When I reach out thru emails to you.....I will say...we all walk in the same moccasins. For Mike, from Montreal, I strongly understand where you are, spouse-wise, because of a condition that is NOT your fault and of which you cannot change.

 

But I know couples who BOTH wear diapers....one before the other for one reason or another and I know there ARE people in this world who have "hearts"....who listen..who care about the PERSON strong enough to "accept" this life situation.  And, it is hard on them, too...BUT....

 

mature adults can look past anything for the person "inside" each one of us. 

 

No, I am not a male and I understand the need for males on this site to receive support from males....but I am one female who does understand, because, yes, I live like this, too....but want to encourage each one of us in this group......we care for each other, and yes, we will never meet......but there are people who we do know who DO and WILL care for you....and accept you for who you are.

 

Melody in Texas