Get Happier! - the weekly newsletter from Aboodi Shabi - Personal Coach and Speaker - 5th November 2003
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1) Bureaucracy of Habits
2) Read of the Week
3) More trumpet-blowing!
4) Forth-coming workshop in London - 27th November 2003 - full details.

1) Bureaucracy of Habits

I have just returned from another amazing week in Washington DC where I was taking another course with Newfield Network (www.newfieldnetwork.com).

For the first part of the course, we were doing some training with Stuart Heller, an aikido master, on working with the non-verbal.

One of the things he focussed on was how the body can work to prevent change or movement into new areas.

For instance when he was working with me to create a more dynamic presence, he pointed out that as I moved forward with one new gesture, another part of me would "compensate" for this by moving back in order to maintain the status quo.

He had a lovely phrase for this  - "the bureaucracy of habits" - I loved the imagery of that - an organisation of habits that move together to keep things the way they are in the face of imminent change.

It made me think about how this applies to many domains of life - not just the body. Systems, organisations, cultures, and nations all can respond "bureaucratically" to impetus to change.

In fact, we can often respond as individuals like a bureaucracy.

One of the implications for me of this learning has been to look at how to bring about change in my ways of being, and how we can involve others in the process of change.

Imagine a bureaucratic system with its habits well-established, and then imagine trying to impose major change on that system. What tends to happen is that the system will "lock up" to defend itself against the threat represented by the change.

I had a conversation with a client this morning who is struggling to stay on top of her paper-work - she'd tried many different "time-management" techniques, all with little success - her system would almost "grind to a halt" when faced with such a full-scale change.

Eventually what worked for her was to get to know her system, to understand her bureaucracy of habits, and then to effect change that respected where she was at, not merely imposing something from above.

(If you're interested in exploring more on this, check out Mark Forster's "How to Get Everything Done and Still Have Time to Play", where he talks about working with our resistance rather than "overcoming it".)

So, what I am proposing is that taking time to get to know how we (or others) work as systems, what our particular bureaucracy of habits is, is tremendously helpful if we want to change our habits, or develop new ways of being.

This week's explorations:

What might be your bureaucracy of habits?

What changes have you tried to impose on your (or someone else's {!} ) system?

Take some time to get to know the particular bureaucracy - what do you learn from it? How can you approach it differently to effect a change?

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2) Read of the week:

Still on the subject of the body, there is a fascinating article on the BBC News site about how the body registers the pain of rejection or loneliness in the same way as physical pain. You can read this at:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/3178242.stm

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3) Trumpet-Blowing!

There is an article in the UK magazine "Red", ominously titled "Women and their Gurus"(!), which includes a piece about me and my coaching - unfortunately, it's not available online, only in the print copy. It's in the current (December) issue on pages 124-128.

4) Forth-coming talk:

Get Happier! - (How to enjoy more of your life, without really trying.)
THURSDAY 27th NOVEMBER
Venue: The Vestry House, 21 Paradise Road Richmond, Surrey TW9 1SA.
Networking from 6.30 Speaker 7-9pm. All welcome. Price £7.00

"We all of us want happiness. Everyone is striving to achieve  happiness and that is proper. Only it is very important to choose the right method in this quest." - Dalai Lama

Happiness is something we all seem to want, and yet it seems more and more elusive. We try many different things in order to become happier, without success. In this course, we will explore the idea that happiness is not something that comes from outside, but which has a lot to do with how we perceive our life. We will look at the idea of happiness as something to practice, and explore together some of the obstacles to happiness.

Session Outline:

Do you find yourself wondering what will finally make you happy? Do you pursue goals in order to become happier, only to find disappointment and dis-satisfaction when you've achieved them? Would you like to find a way to become happier, more easily?

This session will be, primarily, an exploration of happiness. It does not seek to provide all of the answers, and will be an interactive exploration and discussion of the issues. It will also provide some practical ways to increase day-to-day happiness, and some coaching to help participants discover what these ways might be, and how to implement them.

Come prepared for a gentle, yet thought-provoking and liberating experience, that will show you how easy it is to be happier once you stop trying so hard!

Testimonials:

"Aboodi is a wonderful, relaxed speaker, whose presentations echo his philosophy: they are an "exploration". His continuing explorations into happiness unturn many inspiring and novel insights into living an ordinary life while increasing levels of joy, purpose and connection." - Sarah Litvinoff Coach & Best-selling Author

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For more information, please contact

Henrietta Laitt - Catalyst for Change
020 8874 8203
07880 614040
Henrietta@...

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My warmest wishes to you for the week ahead.

Aboodi

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Aboodi Shabi is an ICF Professional Certified Coach.

If you'd like a free taster session to see how conversations with me could support you, then e-mail me now for a free taster session.

I also offer talks and workshops on happiness across the UK. If you'd like me to do a talk in your area, please e-mail me for more information.

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aboodi shabi
icf professional certified coach

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"I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." - Og Mandino