Fw: If this doesn't pick you up you're dead.

Responses From The Original Hollywood Squares TV show....when game shows
were spontaneous and not scripted as they are now.
------------------------------------------------------
Peter Marshall: Paul, can you get an elephant drunk?
Paul Lynde: Yes, but she still won't go up to your
apartment.
------------------------------------------------------
Peter Marshall: According to Cosmo, if you meet a
stranger at a party and
you think he's really attractive, is it okay to come out
directly and ask him if he's married?

Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
------------------------------------------------------
Peter Marshall: Which of your five senses tends to
diminish as you get older?

Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
-------------------------------------------------------
Peter Marshall: Prometheus was tied to the top of a
mountain by the gods
because he had given something to man. What did he give
us?
Paul Lynde: I don't know what you got, but I got a
sports shirt.
------------------------------------------------------
Peter Marshall: What are "Do It", "I Can Help"
and "Can't Get Enough"?
George Gobel: I don't know but it's coming from the
next apartment.
------------------------------------------------------
Peter Marshall: According to Zsa Zsa, does black look
sexy on a woman?
Redd Foxx: I wouldn't have it any other way.
------------------------------------------------------
Peter Marshall: What are "dual purpose" cattle good for
that other cattle aren't?

Paul Lynde: They give milk and cookies...but I don't
recommend the cookies!
------------------------------------------------------
Peter Marshall: Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
------------------------------------------------------
Peter Marshall: Charley, you've just decided to grow
strawberries. Are you
going to get any during your first year?
Charley Weaver: Of course not, Peter. I'm too busy
growing strawberries!
-------------------------------------------------------
Peter Marshall: Eddie, according to the Institute of
Motivational Research,
a wife should be be wary if another woman takes an
interest in a certain
item of her husband's clothing. What item?
Ed Asner: Well, shorts immediately springs to my mind.
-------------------------------------------------------
Peter Marshall: It is considered in bad taste to
discuss two subjects at
nudist camps. One is politics. What is the other?
Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
-------------------------------------------------------
Peter Marshall: True or false...a pea can last as long
as 5,000 years.
George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
-------------------------------------------------------
Peter Marshall: Can boys join the camp fire girls?
Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
-------------------------------------------------------
Peter Marshall: When you pat a dog on its head he will
usually wag his tail. What will a goose do?

Paul Lynde: Make him bark.
-------------------------------------------------------
Peter Marshall: True or false, George...experts say
there are only seven or
eight things in the world dumber than an ant.
George Gobel: Yes, and I think I voted for six of 'em.
-------------------------------------------------------
Peter Marshall: If you were pregnant for two years,
what would you give
birth to?
Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of
the dark.
-------------------------------------------------------
Peter Marshall: According to Ann Landers, is there
anything wrong with
getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army!
-------------------------------------------------------
Peter Marshall: While visiting China, your tour guide
starts shouting
"Poo! Poo! Poo!" What does that mean?
George Goebel: Cattle crossing.
------------------------------------------------------
Peter Marshall: It is the most abused and neglected
part of your body, what is it?

Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't
neglected!
-------------------------------------------------------
Peter Marshall: Back in the old days, when Great
Grandpa put horseradish on
his head, what was he trying to do?
George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
-------------------------------------------------------
Peter Marshall: According to Movie Life magazine, Ann-
Margaret would like
to start having babies soon, but her husband wants her
to wait a while. Why?
Paul Lynde: He's out of town.
-------------------------------------------------------
Peter Marshall: Dennis Weaver, Debbie Reynolds, and
Shelley Winters star in
the movie "What's The Matter With Helen?" Who plays
Helen?
Charley Weaver: Dennis Weaver - that's why they asked
the question.
-------------------------------------------------------
Peter Marshall: Who stays pregnant for a longer period
of time, your wife or your elephant?

Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
-------------------------------------------------------
Peter Marshall: When a couple have a baby, who is
responsible for its sex?
Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car. The rest is up
to him.
-------------------------------------------------------
Peter Marshall: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that
he firmly believes in
them and has actually seen them on at least two
occasions. What are they?
Charley Weaver: His feet.
-------------------------------------------------------
Peter Marshall: If you're going to make a parachute
jump, you should be at least how high?

Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do
it.
-------------------------------------------------------
Peter Marshall: You've been having trouble going to
sleep. Are you a man or a woman?

Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
------------------------------------------------------
Peter Marshall: Your baby has a certain object which he
loves to cling to.
Should you try to break him of his habit?
Joan Rivers: Yes. It's daddy's turn.

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