Hi Caroline,
Thanks for writing. I'm really sorry to hear about your intense loss. It sounds from the anger and sensitivity that you were really close, and that this loss has been devastating to you.
Intense grief and possessions (especially those of the person that died) are two things that don't mix well, but they're inevitably linked together. Depending on how people grieve is how they're going to react, and your anger is a manifestation of how much you're hurting.
Caroline, if you have the time and would like to, please tell us about your grandfather. What kind of man was he? How was your relationship with him, and was his death expected?
Your mom may have grieved before his death and now feels that it's time to "move on," while you're just starting your grief process and it feels overwhelming.
Caroline, many of the Psalmist would
get very angry at people and circumstances, but they would eventually turn their difficult emotions to praise. Look at the first 7 verses of Psalms 5.
It might even be helpful when you get really mad to think, "what would grandpa say to me right now about this situation."
As for your grief, please feel free to share how you're feeling here. If angry, like you shared in this post, please let us know. We'll pray for you and support you through this challenging time.
If you would like some thoughts as to how you might better interact with your mother, please tell us more about your relationship with her and her relationship with her father-in-law.
Thanks again for introducing yourself, and, again, sorry for the loss of your grandfather.
John
caroline <cwf24@...> wrote:
caroline <cwf24@...> wrote:
I am a new member. My grandfather died on June 8, 2007. Tonight, I am
not in a good mood I am very angry at my mother and her friend Susan
because they were nosying around my granddads home and he has not
been gone even a month. It made me very angry. It was my first time
back into the house so of course I was hurting to begin with. (To
clear any confusion any readers may have this was my dad's dad who
died). My Grandmother is still in the house with 24/7 care due to
alzheimers. She no longer knows anyone which doubly hurts. It felt
like a million knives going through my heart when my mom and her
friend were walking and going through the house like nothing was
wrong. I told my mother I was leaving, she asked why I said I was
upset with her. She said why and I told her because she was going
through things. She said well we have to do it eventually. WELL
hello!!!! Mamoo(my grandmother) is still alive. Plus this really was
not her place to do it. Plus she knows I am hurting really bad and
missing my grandfather so much right now. I always will but right now
the pain is extremely fresh and bad. EXTREMELY BAD. She knew that was
my first time back in the house(which was very painful) did she have
to do what she was doing??? I am still angry with her.
Any support and opinions would be great.
Hugs,
Caroline
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