I lost my son a year ago on the 7^th. My daughter lost a brother. For young people who still believe they are immortal it blows their minds when they realize they are not. That is one level of pain. Then they think they are not allowed to grieve as others do. This is another lie. They hurt as bad as anyone, maybe worse. This is another level of grief. Then they blame themselves. Alas, another level. With my daughter I just let her talk as much as she wants. To cry as much as she wants. She is also in counseling because she is young and without a lot of life under her belt she doesn’t see things that we as parents do. I can remember telling her often how sorry I was that she has lost a brother. I try to take myself out of the picture so she can see that I am really feeling her pain, not just my own. And of course we pray, pray, pray…don’t forget the full armor of God. She will need every piece of that. And please reassure her that no matter how bad it feels right this minute it will not feel this way forever. Not this particular piece of pain. She doesn’t have to know that the pain will always be there, just in a different shape. But for now that is not knowledge she needs. She just needs to hear that it will not hurt so bad forever.

Tell her I am so sorry for her loss. Friends are so hard to come by. We don’t always have so many friends. So to lose one is very hard. But  she will continue to survive. God has a plan for her or she would not have survived that night along with her friends.

Donna

---

From: Grief_Group@yahoogroups.com [mailto:Grief_Group@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of Linda
Sent: Saturday, June 30, 2007 6:48 PM
To: Grief_Group@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [Grief_Group] searching for help

My daughter (24yrs) was involved in an auto accident that killed her
boyfriend and another friend. I am seaching for things that might
help her or things to say or give. This is something any parent does
not want to watch their children go through so I am just trying to
someone thats been there or close and things that helped you. She has
been living on her own but has been back home recouperating but in a
few weeks will be back to her own place. Thanks for any responses.