Hello everybody.  My name is Amy, I am 33, and I have 3 children.  I would have to say that 2004 was the worst and hardest year I could have ever experienced,  I'm still trying to work through it.  Within 11  months time I lost 3 very important people in my life.  My grandparents, this was rather expected, but even so, that doesn't make it an easy transition.  And, my father passed away very unexpectedly.
My dad was 49, much to young, and so full of life.  The day that all this happened is ingrained in my mind forever.  My brother had called me on the cell phone, asked if August 14,and 15 would be good for camping, that Dad wanted to know.  He told me to call Dad when I got home.  about 40 minutes later, I was home and decided to put the kids to bed first.  The phone rings and it's my other brother from Illinois, saying Dad fell to the ground and EMS was working on him. 
One hour later, my brother calls back and says," How do I tell my sister this, Amy...He's gone"  I was absolutely devastated.  It has been a year this past June 24th, and I still feel just as bad inside
as I did then.
My step mother did not allow a casket type ceremony.  My Dad was cremated, with no visitation, so I never saw my dad after he passed.  I never got to say goodbye.

I feel very blessed to have found this group.  My hope is to not only receive help in my journey towards healing, but to help others in their journey.  As silly as this sounds, I have alot of contact in my
job with people that have just lost a loved one.  I work in a hospice type unit.  You'd think I would be able to get a better grip on all of this, but I have learned all I have spoke to my families about is not very easy to do.

Thank you for letting me vent a bit.
God Bless,
Amy