What I'm confused about is life basically. And about my future. She was supposed to be in it, and we had our future all planned out. Yes they were just dreams, but it had me looking forward to something and I don't have that anymore. I'm trying to find something that will keep me going, something to look forward to.

Did she leave a note or a letter explaining why she took her life? If she was making plans for her future with you it doesn't sound like she didn't think there would be a future. Somehow the pain she was feeling inside overwhelmed her ability to carry on in life and fulfill those plans.

 

If you would like to talk about some of those plans, Petra, and your friend that died, I'd like hearing about her/those plans.

 

As for your thoughts about the future. Right now you're hurting pretty badly. If you had been in a car accident or something a few months ago and sustained serious injury, you'd still be recovering. You were hurt, emotionally, a few months ago and you deserve the same opportunity to heal from the deep hurt. Future plans might seem a bit overwhelming. Maybe just think about the things of the day and go from there?

My prayers certainly go out to you, Petra, at this time.

Take care,

John