Thanks for your comments on this book. I have seen the review of
it and have thought of getting it to read as my local library has
it. I may pick it up this week.

On the same vein as talking books I wanted to pass along a note on a
book my pastor spoke about yesterday that sounds good and would
certainly change how people deal with life and loss, etc. It's by
Dr. Will Miller who is a pastor/counselor and used to be a stand up
comedian and is called "Refrigerator Rights". It's about how we,
as a society, have given us our relationships that have refrigerator
rights in our lives...those relationships that are so close that we
could walk into each other's house and help ourself to whatever was
in the refrigerator and no one would think a thing of it. How
we've let the high tech things, internet, jobs, too busy a life,
all foster our isolating ourselves and not allowing time in our
lives for "refrigerator rights" relationships...people we can just
be ourselves around and who are there in the good and hard times of
life without having to ask. People we are willing to just be there
for and who are there for us. I plan to get the book and read it
for myself but I thought of those who grieve who have a hard time
asking for help and thought if we had these relationships like I
remember being so common when I was a kid(heck...we were always
having friends over for dinner or going to friends houses at the
drop of a hat invitation)...if we had these relationships in place
then maybe the grieving process wouldn't be so hard as there would
be someone there to support us thru it without our having to ask.
I am blessed as I sat in church sunday as the pastor spoke of it and
silently named 2-3 people whom I have that type of relationship with
yet I thought...how many more could I have and could I be that kind
of friend to. It's a thought.

Betty



--- In Grief_Group@yahoogroups.com, J Hum <jhum07@...> wrote:
>
> Greetings Friends,
> I was given a book to read by a dear friend whose husband died
of ALS. Joan Didion's book A Year or Magical Thinking chronicles the
year following her husband's sudden death. In late 2003, their
daughter was hospitalized in the ICU with a life-threatening
illness. After a day at the hospital, the couple went home, made a
fire and prepared dinner. As they sat to supper, Didion's husband of
40 years had a heart attack and died. He had a heart history, but it
was sudden, unexpected and during a difficult time because of their
daughter's condition.
> Didion's an author by vocation, and it's obvious
reading her book she's well versed in a number of literary genre's,
but the prose doesn't dominate—her grief experience does. As with
C.S. Lewis' grief classic A Grief Observed, Didion walks the reader
through her year of inconsolable grief; she documents the things
that matter (caring for her daughter whose health goes from bad to
worse), tries to discard the things that don't matter—or do matter
but require too much energy for her emotionally spent condition—and
tries, as grievers do, to just try and keep moving forward.
> Didion spent every day with her husband. They worked
together, ate together, vacationed together, and, well, did
everything together all the time. So for her, it was difficult to
determine where they ended and she began. A Year or Magical Thinking
takes the reader through the painful experience of assessing
relationships in a loss context, the intricate web of family ritual
and tradition, and the sheer pain and confusion of losing a loved
one.
> My recommendation for reading this book is both for
those that have recently lost a loved one (and may be going through
your year of magical thinking), and for those farther along in the
grief process to look back and see how "normal" the pain, confusion
and turmoil of that first year was. One of the things we try to do
here is to say you're not alone in this difficult journey. Didion's
book is not a clinical assessment of grief. It's the painful, daily
grind that makes up the first year of grief.
> I'm including a web site listing reviews of Didion's
book if you're interested
(www.reviewsofbooks.com/year_of_magical_thinking/). I you've read
this book or others like it, please take a moment and comment on
things that might have been helpful or even things that maybe
weren't as helpful.
>
> God's blessing on your day.
>
> John
>
>
> ---------------------------------
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