My turn to respond..just hadn't gotten it done yet.  To Esther....my feelings are...if you don't love someone dearly then you don't miss them and aren't sad when they're gone.   The magnitude of your missing someone is a valuation of their worth and impact in your life and a measure of the blessing God gave you with them in your life for even the short time they were on this earth.  The next time you are reunited...it will be forever!!  

 

To Lisa...thank you for your post...you have such a caring heart.   Your post reminded me of a song lyric that has stuck in my mind and heart for the past week.....I think it's from a MercyME song but not sure....it says..."where does my strength come from..from the maker of heaven and earth"!!   What a grand statement to remind us that if God was so omnipotent to create everything in existence then He is able to walk us thru each and every thing we go thru in this life.  And then I've held dearly in my heart this whole week what my pastor said in prefacing his prayer just before his sermon last Sunday...he said he didn't personally know all the trials people were walking thru as some are kept secret in our hearts but that whatever we were going thru we needed to remember and keep in our mindseye that God is holding our hand every moment of the day and night and walking thru every single thing with us and he's not human...He's incapable of ever letting go or losing grip on our hand.

 

My prayers are with you Esther and with all of you.

 

Betty

-----Original Message-----
From: Lisa Hicks <lisahicks13@...>
To: Grief_Group@yahoogroups.com
Date: Fri, 12 May 2006 12:48:52 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: Re: [Grief_Group] (no subject)

Hello,

 

I hope this post finds everyone well.  I haven't posted in a while but I read everyone elses posts and I keep in touch with Esther.   When I read your post today I thought that it was very sweet and very true on several counts.  First, you're 100% right about Esther she is a very sweet dear person who honestly loves and cares about everyone she knows.  Second, I have had several people over the past year and a half ask me why I get upset on the 21st and 24th of every month they are just another day.  To me they aren't and time does help.  In the beginning I focused on my loss.  Even though it still hurts and I still miss him everyday these days have become more about honoring his life and who he is or was.   I also know that (even though I am not ready yet) every anniversary brings me closer to being with him again. 

 

I feel that all of us here are blessed by the fact that we had someone in our lives that we love and miss this much.  Even though we are sad now and miss our loved ones.  We are lucky that they were that big a part of our lives that there is an obvious part missing.  It's sad that everyone doesn't get to have that. 

With mother's day this Sunday my prayer this week is for everyone that has lost their mother.  I pray that God gives you peace of mind and spirit.   I pray the He gives the security of knowing that you will be with them again.  In what may feel like an eternity to us is actually a blink of an eye to Him.

 

God Bless,

Lisa
J Hum <jhum07@...> wrote:

As I read this post, two things came to mind. First, you hurt because you care. Esther, you're such a caring and nice person, it's no wonder you miss people so much. The circle of people's lives that you touch are blessed--including ours.

 

Secondly, you're a person of high honor. It would be easier, as many do, to forget the anniversaries of your loved ones that have died, but you continue to honor their lives by remembering the time of their death. Maybe that seems like an obvious thing to many here, but, in reality, many people push aside those thoughts because they hurt and their self-preservation says "avoid."

 

You have the courage and care to continue remembering them in a significant way that moves past the pain and recalls their wonderful life. I think, deep down, there's a powerful spiritual sense there that you will in fact be reunited with your loved ones again and enjoy eternal life with them in the presence of the Lord. I think if we really have that hope deep within us, we can face things like this with courage even though it still hurts.

 

God's peace be with you Esther. Thanks for sharing your journey with us.

 

John

 

wrote:

Hi! I am sitting here, crying my eyes out. It was not until midmorning today that I realized why this date seemed so familiar, strange to me...I realized that it was the second anniversary of my brother's death. I just wanted to go home when I realized it. Had I thought about it beforehand I would have taken the day off. I have not cried in a very long time for my brother, but this evening it finally overwhelmed me and I can't go to bed right now.

The first anniversary was a blur and I did not even dwell on it because it was soon after my mom's death and I was working through all of that.

I feel so lonesome inside sometimes. I don't know how to describe it. I am happy on the outside and things are good, but even in the middle of a busy day I suddenly realize that I don't have a mom anymore and my brother is gone and no one can replace them. They are gone and no one can bring them back. Tonight I can hear my mom's voice telling me about my brother's death and it hurts to know that I can not even talk to her to tell her how I feel right now.

Another thing that has me a bit down right now is that for the summer I won't be seeing my co-worker and I feel like it will be a very long summer without her. I get along great with all of my co-workers. They are a great bunch of people. But when I met her last summer, just right after I started to work, we got along right from the start. She also had quite a few losses in her life, is a strong christian. We have really serious discussions, but we also joke around everyday. We "compete" against eachother who does the better craft or bulletinboards in class...there is not a day that goes by that we don't laugh about something.

She lives in another town and has not reason to come to the town we both work at during the summer. I know I will see her again and it's kind of silly, but I will miss her during the summer months.

I also have one little boy that won't be back after this month. He also lives in another town and his mom is going to have a baby and won't be working next year. It makes it so hard. That is the part of my job I don't like. I get so attached and then it's time to say good-bye and I don't do well with good-byes. I even cried when one kid left that gave me a hard time every single day.  I could have pulled my hair out on some days, but then when I knew I would not see her again it made me so sad and I still miss her.

Well enough of this tonight. Just needed to get this of my chest. I feel a bit better now.  Esther

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