Hi Stacey,

I wrote you last night, but then erased it all. I can't remember if you had written in this group last year or not and I did not want to tell you all about my own experiences in case you already read it once before.

I have experienced quite a bit of grief over the years but none as much and seemingly neverending as in the past 2 years. I understand where you are coming from when you wonder how much one person is suppose to take.

I wondered and sometimes still do about that myself. In a way I know God is there with me and he has brought me all this way now, but inside of me is a sadness that won't go away even when I am otherwise happy.

A piece of me will always be missing and nothing can make me the person I was before and make me complete again. I work as a caregiver at a daycare and I always listen to the kids talk about their mom's and sometimes they will ask me about mine. Right now we are getting the mother's day cards ready.

Last year I did not even celebrate mother's day. This year, I will let my children have fun getting me a few things. They are already planning things for me. I have several older women friends which have not nor ever will replace my mom, but I am thankful to have them in my life and this mother's day I have cards for each of them to let them know how much they mean to me.

My heart goes out to you as you are going through this tough time.                   Esther

P.S. All I can tell you is: God is really there even when it doesn't always seem that way.