People do not want to know the truth. Most of the western world is living
in a dissociative dream, and they like it there, on their happy little
barge floating down "de-nile". You see, if we are right, if the
researchers are right (and it looks more and more like they are) there are
a huge number of sick people who get that way, at least in part because
they were poisoned by people more interested in making a buck than in using
even the smallest amount of common sense - and very little ethics.

We are the dispossessed, the chemical gypsies, refugees from the mind set
of the western world. People do not want to admit we are real. This is a
scary illness. People who have it do not want to admit that they have
it. It means a lot of huge changes and some harsh things about what life
will be like, the loss of friends (who are not interested or too scared to
admit the truth) and family members (who find us too demanding) and the
support of others (because we are a great glowing neon sign showing that
the current way of life is not sustainable and is rapidly becoming
unsurvivable).

It isn't all horror, but there is a lot of grim reality to be owned up
to. I wish very badly that I had a few million bucks and a nice clean spot
(say in New Zealand or in the less populated areas of Australia) so that we
could make a community that is safe for us, and for our children. From
what I have read (see "living down stream") many illnesses are now
determined in the womb close to the point of conception. We have
desecrated the living sacred womb of life (in every species and in the
earth itself) and it is the future of our planet...our only future, and it
scares the crap out of people. damn, I'm getting too preachy here.

Admitting this illness exists brings into question the entire way of life
of the Western world, a world of of endless consumerism and untested
compounds, of business people with no ethics, creating and selling
poisons. It brigs into question the intelligence of free market capitalism
(in an era when governments react to those kinds of questions with open
violence in the streets) because it is based on the idea that an
unsustainable cycle of production and greed and destruction can go on
forever without any consequences. It brings into question ideas like
sustainability, how much damage the greed mongers have already done to the
planet, is that damage recoverable, and just how long are these poisons
going to be floating around in the water table and in the air and the soil.

It can take thousands of years for water to percolate through soil and
stone down into an aquifer and then get pumped back up for human use, or
find its way back up through a natural spring....and stone and soil do not
do a good job of filtering out PCBs or dioxins or plasticizers or even the
prozac that can be found in all the worlds oceans now from passing through
people via urine into the seas. This is scary hard core nasty real world
stuff, and the idea of admitting that it is real, that the only way to get
really better is to scrape, hanging on by sheer stubbornness until you find
some place safer...always looking for someplace safer.

I for one want a home. I am tired of being an outcast, alone with my wife
and daughter, on the edge of a world I can see but cannot afford to
touch. I want my daughter to have friends she can play with. I want a
community where people post their restrictions on the gate to their
property, where everything is organic and plastics have to outgass in a
special facility before they get in. And in the center of it all - no
electricity so that I get get away for a while to a place where I stop
feeling sick from the EM that is supposed to be perfectly safe (to me a
television set feels like a painful wind).

I want a home for my wife and for my kid. I want people in our world
again, people I can touch. I want all of us to have this, and I am tired
of us all being so sick and in so much pain so that a few old bastards can
deny the truth and in the process doom us all to a dead planet, slowly
evolving new live that can survive the mess that humanity made of the place.





At 09-02-03 10:20 PM Sunday, you wrote:
>Hello all. I have been lurking for a little bit and decided to
>finally join after leaving my previous MCS group.
>
>I have MCS/CFS and believe in the detoxification of the body as many
>of you do. I had joined a Fibromyalgia/CFS group recently in an
>attempt to find a new home, but they seemed not to understand me
>bringing up the chemical connection, so I started looking elsewhere
>and found this group.
>
>I am really looking forward to getting to know all of you and it's
>nice to know I can come somewhere and discuss issues which others are
>very aware of. Anyway, hello.


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