Dear Michael:

 

   We've all been where you are at some point in our long struggle with HIV/AIDS. Do you have any support groups in Tennessee? Find an upbeat one. And definitely, if you haven't already, seek a therapist. Not temporary, but long term. It sounds as if you suffer chronic depression. Your letter gives much more insight into your life than you probably meant to divulge, but you sound very interesting, provocative and creative. And, that sounds like an awful lot of value in a sometimes twisted world. I too am taking Fuzeon, I too have a hard skinned abdomen, and I too feel frustrated. However I never get angry, or bitter, or hopeless. I am a full time student at a university and pack my shit and head out ever day to conquer the world. This is a difference in attitude and mental state. A state I think you can achieve too. You sound like you have many friends and family and a supportive lover, all which I don't have. Start with your life's strengths, then work from there. Your too valuable to this world, stick in there, wait for soon approaching new therapies, and get ready to conquer the world! Ricky in Michigan