Why we still need water fluoridation: Five Reasons

by Michael Easley

 

1. For the topical benefits.

If we could get people's average saliva fluoride levels up to the level of toothpaste, we can claim that the dental benefits are worth the risks of cardiac arrest and kidney failure that are bound to happen at this intake level. The good news is, with DOW's sulfuryl fluoride allowances, the extra fluoride in food might just do it if we can keep up the good work of turning every tap into a dispenser of mouthrinse that you can swallow and cook with.

 

2. For the benefits to seniors' families.

Seniors live too long if they avoid fluoride. Water fluoridation helps their bones break with no warning, and death soon follows. Fluoridation is the most humane way of ensuring that their estates can benefit those of us who matter.

 

3. To increase the GNP index.

Building and maintaining fluoridation plants and equipment create many jobs, and jobs mean more taxes for the government. Fluoride poisoning of waterworks employees creates a constant need for new entry-level, disposable employees who will never get a cent in disability payments for fluoride poisoning, from the many new layers of insurance company bureacracy that will need to be developed to deny their claims.

 

4. We still have 50% of children without mild to moderate dental fluorosis.

Come on, people! Half of the nation is still not getting enough fluoride in their formative years to permanently damage their tooth enamel for life. Get with the program!

 

5. People are not getting enough fluoride from the air.

Coal fired power plants, aluminum smelters, phosphate mines, and steel mills are either shutting down or reducing their fluoride output with modern pollution control technology. Al Gore has just about ruined our chances of getting any dental benefits from smog.

 

Well, there you have it. Five good reasons to believe Public Health officials when they say that dental fluorosis is one of the top ten public health achievements of the twentieth century, right up there with autism (our gift to you when you vaccinate your baby), and the organochlorine carcinogens that you can't even get in the public drinking water in Europe or Japan, that's how backward they are. And don't get me started on how we saved you from fresh raw foods like milk and almonds.

 

And remember, there has never been any scientific evidence collected or research conducted in the United States that says fluoridation is harmful. And if there were, we would just suppress it and shoot the scientists. That's why you don't need to waste your time voting or trying to use the democratic process to stop us from violating your human rights. We are supreme, we are going to fluoridate the world, and don't you forget it.