A little progress
Right now in this very moment you can make a little bit of progress.
There's something productive and useful you can do to improve your
world and your life.
It may not seem like much, and yet it can make a big difference.
Because even a little progress is progress in a positive direction,
and it's infinitely better than doing nothing.

You can waste this moment or you can use it. There's a world of
difference between those two simple choices.

Though you may not immediately achieve anything stunning or
momentous, still you can achieve right here and right now. And once
you've achieved, it will feel so good you'll jump right in and
achieve again.

This is your day and this is your life. It's happening right now, and
you can do something wonderful with it.

Give the value of your effort to this moment, and you'll receive much
more value in return. Here is your chance to make a little progress,
so do it.

-- Ralph Marston

A Good Question by a Good Writer

  By Dick B.



Not too long ago, my friend Mel B., who is a prolific writer for A.A.
and Hazelden, graciously thanked me for a copy of one of my books.
Then he said: "Dick, I now have a shelf of your books. Where does it
all end?" That's a good question. And the answer lies in how it all
began and what gave rise to the search. Actually, Mel played a role
in that beginning, along with A.A.'s former archivist Frank Mauser
(now deceased), Dr. Bob's son Smitty, Willard Hunter (an Oxford Group
speaker), myself, and a small A.A. group that presented two large
conferences on early A.A. history in Marin County, California, in the
early 1990's. Each event was called "A Day in Marin." And each went
to the heart of A.A.'s spiritual beginnings, with the foregoing men
as speakers.



Where Our Spiritual Roots Were When the Search Began



Much has been uncovered and discovered about early A.A. in the last
decade. But let's start with what we had about 1990.

             About 1954, Bill Wilson and his secretary Nell Wing began
taping the remarks of our founders and pioneers. In 1957, after
A.A.'s St. Louis Convention was over and Bill had finished having a
manuscript edited by Father John C. Ford, Bill felt it appropriate to
publish that work as Alcoholics Anonymous Comes of Age: A Brief
History of A.A. Then, over a span of twenty-six years, in more than
150 articles, Bill wrote bits and pieces and fragments of history.
And these were later assembled and published by the AA Grapevine,
Inc. in The Language of the Heart. Dr. Bob died on November 16, 1950,
and Bill W. died on January 24, 1971. And much has been uncovered and
discovered about early A.A. since those dates.

             Ernest Kurtz received a Ph.D. in the History of American
Civilization in 1978 and began to study history after professional
experience in both religion and psychology. In 1979, Dr. Kurtz
published Not-God: A History of Alcoholics Anonymous. In June, 1983,
Bill Pittman completed a work in partial fulfillment of his Bachelor
of Science Degree at University of Minnesota; and by 1988, the work
was published as AA The Way It Began. Meanwhile, with Bill Wilson
gone, historical interest was stirring at A.A.'s General Services.
Bill's former secretary Nell Wing phoned Clarence Snyder in Florida
and said that New York just didn't know the oldtimers.. She asked
permission to send an A.A. staff person to interview Clarence,
because, as she put it: "You know them." And, of course, Clarence
did, having been one of the original 40 pioneers, a sponsee of Dr.
Bob's, and the founder of A.A. in Cleveland where initial growth and
success rates had been phenomenal. Out of this venture came DR. BOB
and the Good Oldtimers (an A.A. "Conference Approved" book). It was
published in 1980. Its sequel (a biography of Bill Wilson) was
published by A.A. in 1984 with the title Pass It On.



John H., the 1990 Seattle Convention, and the Gap

By the summer of 1990, I had been sober a little over four years. I
had been quite active in A.A., serving as a secretary, treasurer,
general services representative, and in other service jobs in various
A.A. groups. I had sponsored a good many men in their recovery, been
to many area conventions, and had my appetite for history thoroughly
whetted. Here's the reason.

             Prior to 1990, John H. (a young A.A. friend now dead of
alcoholism) said to me: "Dick, did you know that A.A. came from the
bible?" John knew of my interest in the Bible, and we both had the
same A.A. sponsor. But I replied that I did not know anything about
A.A. and the Bible. I'd never heard such a thing. I said knew nothing
about that story and had never heard it from our mutual sponsor or
grandsponsor or in any meetings. So John said: "Read DR. BOB and the
Good Oldtimers." And I did just that. And I became excited. To be
sure, Dr. Bob was quoted as saying that A.A.'s basic ideas came from
their study of the Bible. The DR. BOB book said that the Bible was
stressed, and that early A.A. was known as a "Christian Fellowship."
It said the early Akron meetings had been described as "old fashioned
prayer meetings."

             From that historical piece, I hastened to read Pass It On
and saw that early AAs had wanted to call their society The James
Club, because they favored reading the Book of James. I picked up
Bill Wilson's A.A. Comes of Age, but was surprised and disappointed
to see no references to the Bible and very little about the Oxford
Group, from which a number of A.A.'s Bible ideas came.

             With that, I went to A.A.'s International Convention in
Seattle. I expected to find there the specifics. But alas, there were
none. I wound up at an archives meeting where the Bible was not
mentioned; the Oxford Group was alluded to; and a panel member had
one book on the Oxford Group which he showed me after the panel
discussion was over. I kept hearing them talk of "Frank." And I
discovered that "Frank" was the General Services archivist from New
York. I asked Frank what he had on Sam Shoemaker, a mentioned leader
of the Oxford Group. And Frank said he knew very little but would
send me a list of Shoemaker titles. Interestingly, he sent me
material from Bill Pittman's AA The Way It Began and a short pamphlet
by the Oxford Group's Willard Hunter and A.A.'s Mel B.

             The bottom line, however, was: At an international
convention of A.A. held 55 years after A.A. began, I could find no
details about A.A. and the Bible, what the Oxford Group believed,
what its relationship to A.A. was, or how A.A. came to base its Steps
on Oxford Group practices. I could find nothing on Shoemaker's role
other than laudatory statements by Bill that Sam should be listed as
a "co-founder" of A.A. and a wellspring of its spiritual ideas. The
literature early AAs read was mentioned in small part, but there was
nothing on what that literature contained or that it was primarily
Christian. There was nothing at all on what Anne Smith had
contributed or on the journal she shared with AAs and their families.
And there was nothing specific about "quiet time," except a mention
in a 1938 report that Quiet Time was a "must" in the program and that
it was observed in the early meetings and homes and also by
individuals.



The "Agenda" Began to Crystalize



I am sure my interest in our spiritual roots proceeded from various
crucibles. (1) At eight months of sobriety, I had been in the VA
psychiatric ward in San Francisco and was going nowhere, except to
A.A. meetings and group therapy. I was filled with fear. I shook like
a leaf. I was sufficiently brain damaged that even I could tell I
didn't know what I was talking about. And on and on. I was "sick."
So, at the urging of my older son and his wife, I began studying the
Bible. Things on the love of God, the healing power of God, the
forgiveness of God, and the deliverance that could come because of
what Jesus Christ had accomplished for those who chose to accept him
as Lord and believe that God had raised His on from the dead. The
result was almost instantaneous. The fear left. I began seeking God's
guidance instead of trying to program my future, events that lay
ahead, and the rest of my life. Peace arrived at last. In other
words, reading the Bible and believing what it said had resulted in
my deliverance, just as it had for early AAs (but I didn't know about
the early AAs yet). (2) I had been an attorney, a very good one,
trained at Stanford, Case Editor of their Law Review, a practitioner
for 35 years, and an experienced researcher. But I had become a drunk
and had resigned from the bar in disgrace after having seizures in
A.A. and being hospitalized in a treatment center. Nonetheless, my
zeal for research and discovery had apparently survived. (3) I was
having difficulty understanding why people were talking about
a "higher power" instead of talking about God as the Twelve Steps and
Big Book and early AAs had done. I saw Bible words and phrases quoted
verbatim (but without acknowledgment) in A.A.'s Big Book. I saw Bible
words like Creator, Maker, Father, Father of Lights, Spirit. Bible
phrases like "love thy neighbor as thyself," "faith without works is
dead," "Thy will be done," and so on. (4) Most of all, as my mind
returned, I wanted to get away from the nonsense that was common fare
in the meetings I attended: Absurd names for God like "Ralph." Half-
baked prayers" Self-made religion with people saying they didn't like
their church; they didn't like to hear about the Bible; and that it
was against the Traditions to mention Jesus Christ. As a solution,
they said that A.A. was their religion. (5) Finally, I wanted to help
the people I sponsored, help them with the truth about God, and help
them understand the rock on which I felt recovery and A.A. itself
must have been founded. But I had to know the facts..



And the "Agenda" Was. . . .



What it boiled down to for me was simple. I wanted to know if A.A.
really took its basic ideas from the Bible. And if it did, I wanted
to know what those ideas were. I could see that the facts were not to
be found in A.A. Conference Approved literature or in the meetings I
attended or the Conference Speakers I heard. I had read Nan
Robertson's Inside AA. That book indicated that there were archives
to be seen, founding families that could be interviewed, and
significant historical places that could be visited. That too became
a part of the agenda. Without interviews, no facts; and (as a lawyer)
I had interviewed dozens of witnesses. But there was more. Early
writings and talks had to be studied for references to the Bible, to
Christian literature, to the Oxford Group, to Sam Shoemaker and to
Quiet Time. That meant travel and research. More important, I
realized from Bill Pittman's book and from a reference or two in Dr.
Kurtz's book that there was plenty of Oxford Group and Shoemaker and
other spiritual literature that had never been examined, analyzed, or
made available to AAs. So reading many thousands of pages became part
of the agenda. Again what was the main agenda? To see if A.A. ideas
came from the Bible; and, if they did, what those ideas were and how
they impacted on the Steps, the Big Book, and the Fellowship. And if
the facts could be documented, then to make sure that they were made
available to AAs themselves, to Al-Anons, to clergy, to the treatment
community, to the government, and to non-profits. But the
dissemination part had to wait on the research and travel and then on
the writing. And, as a lawyer often finds when he begins to seek and
unearth evidence, the real truth is often vast and surprising and
often badly distorted by previous investigations and prejudices.



The Pleasant Surprises



I found, from many years of law practice, that if the truth is
diligently sought, it usually can be unearthed. Moreover, lots of new
truths emerge. That's the case whether you are looking at raw
evidence, interviewing witnesses, or searching collateral leads. It's
also true when you are searching for the "purple cow" precedent case
that will show what the law actually is or should be in your case.
Many many times, I have had a hunch that turned into a lead that
turned into a case or a fact that won the day. That's what's good
about the law. When you're not drinking too much! Anyway, the quest
for A.A. history and Bible sources had all the same ingredients as
preparation for a major legal case, and there was to be no
disappointment.

             For example, I had read in DR. BOB that our co-founder
had given away all of his spiritual books (very large in number). But
when I went to Akron and visited Dr. Bob's daughter Sue Windows, I
was greeted by her trips to the attic to bring down Dr. Bob's books.
And the books had Dr. Bob's name inscribed by him in them along with
the date he had obtained them. Dr. Bob's son and daughter-in-law came
up with an equal number of books they had. And then I could see that
Dr. Bob had read the Bible, books about the Bible and Jesus Christ
and prayer and healing and love, and so on. I read those books.
Charlie Bishop published my Dr. Bob's Library, and Ernie Kurtz wrote
the Foreword.

             Then, from Kurtz's book, I found a reference to a
notebook Dr. Bob's wife had kept. I contacted Dr. Bob's daughter, my
friend Bill Pittman, my friend Frank Mauser, and Bill's secretary
Nell Wing. My objective was to see and study Anne Smith's notebook. I
submitted a letter to the Trustees of A.A. through Frank with a
supporting letter from Sue. And I obtained Anne's journal. I was
aghast. Anne had written this journal between 1933 and 1939. She had
recorded all the Bible ideas, Oxford Group and Shoemaker ideas, the
Quiet Time practices, the Bible verses, and even the literature early
AAs were reading. Later, through my friend Dennis C., an A.A.
historian, I was to learn that Anne had shared this journal with AAs
and their families every morning at the Smith home. Sue Windows said
the AAs came there for "spiritual pablum." After more interviews and
reading, I discovered that Anne was called "Mother of A.A." and for
good reason. Her journal contained the heart of the program before it
was committed to writing.

             Next, I tackled the Oxford Group. I read and read. I was
put in touch with all the early Oxford Group people who were active
when Bill and Bob were in the Oxford Group. And I put together twenty-
eight ideas that came from the Oxford Group and could be found in
A.A. Later, I found dozens of actual phrases in A.A. that paralleled
those in the Oxford Group. I got the lead to those phrases from Pass
In On. I got the phrases from the Oxford Group people I interviewed.
And I documented them from Oxford Group books. Bill Pittman published
my first Oxford Group/AA book for me and also my first Anne Smith
book. Endorsements from Dr. Bob's kids and from Oxford Group people
were easy to come by because they all wanted the facts known.

             I'll not go into all of the search. But I interviewed all
the Seiberling children, T. Henry Williams' daughter, and Sam
Shoemaker's wife and daughters to find out what actually took place
at those early meetings and the facts about the contributions of
Henrietta, T. Henry, Sam Shoemaker, Anne Smith, Dr. Bob, and Bill's
Oxford Group circle in New York. I went to the Akron newspapers for
1933 when it all began. Lo and behold. The entire story was
emblazened in the papers with the very kinds of expressions by Oxford
Group people in Akron that AAs themselves use all the time: self-
centeredness, meditation, resentment, fear, and so on.

             In other words a simple agenda in 1990 to learn if
A.A .came from the Bible and what it had borrowed from the bible
turned into a major, ten-year quest that unearthed spiritual sources,
ideas, practices, and literature that AAs had never heard of for
decades. Yet these sources in some cases were codified in the A.A.
program. And because they were not known, different expressions and
complete distortions emanated from them: God became a tree. Religious
became spiritual. Bible became "books." Quiet Time
became "meditation." Revelation became "intuition." And the Serenity
Prayer (which begins with the word "God") became "acceptance."




             There are many searchers today. Some collect books. Some
start groups. Some write books. And I'd like to mention several of
the writers. Mel B. has written New Wine which summarizes

some of our sources. Mary Darrah has written Sister Ignatia which
chronicles the work of the

dedicated nun who helped Dr. Bob at St. Thomas Hospital once the Big
Book was written and

the Oxford Group tie was broken. Mitch K. has written a book on
Clarence Snyder and the

Cleveland picture (How It Worked) which began in 1939 just after the
Big Book was written and where the astonishing 93% success rate was
achieved with the early program. There are works

now on Father Dowling, who met Bill after the program was developed
and became Bill's

Roman Catholic "sponsor." There are studies of Bill's sponsor Ebby
Thacher, of Bill himself,

of Sam Shoemaker, and books galore on the Oxford Group. But the heart
of the early A.A.

program as reported by trustee-to-be Frank Amos in 1938 and the
details about it were consistently ignored and specifics could not be
found until my quest began.



Where Does It End?



For the first time in perhaps 50 years, the spiritual history of A.A.
made an appearance at an International Convention. Not at the
Convention. But as near to it as you can get. Just as near as the
drunk junk booths at the other end of the Convention buildings. A
group of dedicated AAs rented a church next door to the Convention
and presented a video, many of the early spiritual books, and many
historical books (including all of mine). A panel of speakers (most
of them early dinosaurs) covered reminiscences. But why not at the
Convention? Why not at all the Conferences and Conventions? Why not
in the meetings? Why not in A.A. Conference Approved Literature? Why
not in full at Dr. Bob's Home? Why not at A.A. General Services in
New York? Why not a complete uncovering of A.A.'s connection with the
Bible, with Quiet Time and what it meant, with the Oxford Group, with
Sam Shoemaker, with Anne Smith the Mother of A.A., and with the
religious literature that fed the program?

             Well, our agenda was to get the facts about A.A.'s
biblical roots. And the facts have largely been unearthed. Then, we
wanted to know what that had to do with A.A.'s success rates then. We
know now that early A.A. claimed a 75% success rate among "medically
incurable" alcoholics who really tried. We know the names of most of
these people because their pictures are on the wall at Dr. Bob's home
and their names are written in rosters. Bill Wilson claimed an 80%
success rate. Early Cleveland A.A., which grew from one group to
thirty in a year, documented a 93% success rate and has the names and
addresses to confirm the fact. And Jack Alexander wrote in his 1941
Saturday Evening Post article that there was a 100% success rate
among non-psychotics.

             Today, TV and radio shows are filled with people talking
about the drug and alcohol problem. They seldom talk about the
solution of early A.A.: the power of God as recorded in the Bible and
utilized in the early fellowship. The dissemination of the truth
about early A.A. and its reliance on God is now probably the
greatest "agenda"item on our plate. And progress is being made. There
is growing interest among AAs and churches, where the present failure
rate of perhaps 90 to 95% is a matter of common knowledge and grave
concern.

             As A.A.'s former archivist Frank Mauser said in so many
of his talks: "Whenever a civilization or society perishes, there is
always one condition present. They forgot where they came from." We
now know for sure that A.A. came from the Bible, as Dr. Bob said it
did. And we know many of the specifics.. There's lots of history
concerning the details; and day by day, the gap is being filled by
those searching and researching for more of the truth.

©Dick B

Perfect Timing
February 02, 2009 Story of the Day
August 1996

Vol. 53 No. 3


This is a story about the day my grandfather was buried. When I
celebrated my first year of sobriety in the Fellowship of Alcoholics
Anonymous, my grandfather called to congratulate me and told me he
had gone fifty years without a drink. I always looked up to my
grandfather, and this new revelation was another piece of hope for my
new and fragile sobriety.

Later that year, as my second anniversary approached, my grandfather
became ill. I decided to go down to New Jersey to visit him in the
hospital but by the time I reached Connecticut to meet up with my
parents, my grandfather had died. In the past, a tragedy was always a
very good excuse for me to drink. Drinking was an escape from reality
and my own feelings of powerlessness. This was a new experience. I
did all the things it is suggested to do in rough circumstances--
talked with my sponsor, got to a meeting, and didn't drink.

I went to New Jersey and stayed with my grandmother. There was no
wake, no funeral, just silence and grief. I was angry that I couldn't
see my grandfather before he had died, and now there was no ceremony
to honor his life. Good Friday was the day my grandfather was being
buried. The day was gloomy and damp. A small group of friends and
relatives followed the hearse on the forty-five minute ride to a
small country cemetery where the burial was to be.

I had feelings of grief and hopelessness that morning and was
entertaining the thought of a drink after the burial. But I prayed to
the Higher Power that had been keeping me sober that day and the same
one who kept my grandfather sober almost fifty-one years. As I
entered the cemetery I hoped for some sort of sign that my
grandfather was all right and that sobriety, no matter how short or
long, was not in vain. I got to the gravesite only to discover that a
preacher was not going to be present. Nobody seemed to know what to
do that day. My father gave me a prayer book and asked me to conduct
a small service. I had a loud voice and wasn't afraid to speak. Just
as I do in our AA meetings when asked to speak, I said yes.

My stinking thinking seemed to pass with this small assignment. I had
my say and decided to close the service in the usual way with the
Lord's Prayer. We all held hands and prayed. Immediately after the
prayer was finished, as if on cue, the bells in the small church next
to the cemetery started to ring out I looked at my watch: 11:40AM.
Seemed like an odd time for church bells to ring. As the bells rang,
the sun broke through the clouds. It was the perfect ending to the
service.

I approached the funeral director afterwards and asked how he had
managed to ring those bells so precisely after our prayer. I was
shocked by his reply. He said that the church bells had been
inoperative for years; he couldn't explain what had happened. At that
moment I understood my Higher Power was doing for me what I could not
do for myself. I felt abundant joy at being sober that day and not
abandoned by my grandfather or my Higher Power.

When I got back to my grandmother's house I realized that the bells
were a perfect sign of love from my Higher Power. My grandfather had
many chiming clocks in his house. A hobby of his in sobriety was to
collect clocks. He loved to hear them chime. The church bells had
chimed their final farewell to him. A day that started as one of my
worst days in sobriety became one of my best.



John K.
New York

Searching and Fearless Moral Inventory:
See 'Fourth Step Inventory.'

Self-Centeredness:
The Big Book says, 'Selfishness- self-centeredness! That, we think,
is the root of our troubles.' According to Bill Wilson, recovery
means 'destruction of self-centeredness.' The Twelve Steps help us
achieve that goal.

Self-Knowledge Is Not the Answer:
This is a paraphrase from the Big Book, 'But the actual or potential
alcoholic, with hardly an exception, will be absolutely unable to
stop drinking on the basis of self-knowledge. This is a point we wish
to emphasize and re-emphasize...' We cannot achieve sobriety solely
on the basis of knowledge about ourselves and the disease of
alcoholism. It requires working the Twelve Steps.'

Self-Pity:
Feeling sorry for ourselves or dwelling in our own problems. We can
get out of our problems by getting into someone else's- work with
another alcoholic. Another remedy is to write a gratitude list.

Self-Seeking Will Slip Away:
This is characteristic is one of the Twelve Promises in the Big Book.
It will come true for those who work the program. The promise means
that we will seek to help others and to follow God's will for our
lives rather than to seek fulfillment or our own selfish desires.

Self-Supporting through Our Own Contributions:
This expression is from AA's preamble, 'There are no dues or fees for
AA membership; we are self-supporting through our own contributions.'
AA does not solicit nor does it accept contributions from anyone
other than AA members.

Self-Will Run Riot:
This phrase comes from chapter 5 of the Big Book, 'Selfishness- self-
centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.... So our
troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out
of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will
run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we
alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us!'
The only solution we know is to work the Steps.

Serenity Prayer:
The Serenity Prayer reads in part, 'God, grant me the serenity to
accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I
can, and the wisdom to know the difference.' This prayer is often
used as a mantra, of sorts, by AA members. It is a powerful tool for
achieving balance when our emotions threaten to overwhelm us.

Service:
Service is one of AA's Three Legacies. The Big Book states, 'Our real
purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the
people about us.' We are of service when we carry the message to the
alcoholic who still suffers through our words, attitudes, or actions.

Seventh Tradition:
The Seventh Tradition (short form) states, 'Every AA group ought to
be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.' AA
accepts contributions only from its members. There are no dues or
fees for AA membership. Donations are strictly on a voluntary basis.
AA headquarters restricts annual donations from any AA member to a
maximum of two thousand dollars. Anything over this amount or any
donation at all from a non AA member will be politely refused.

Sharing:
This term is derived from the AA preamble, 'Alcoholics Anonymous is a
fellowship of men and women who share their experience strength and
hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and
help others to recover from alcoholism.' The term 'sharing' is often
used to describe an individual's discussion at an AA meeting.

Shotgun Sobriety:
As the phrase suggests, this type of sobriety is based on fear of
drinking rather than on the application of AA principles. All of us
in recovery have learned a healthy respect for the power of alcohol,
but we do not live in terror of it. Long-term sobriety must be based
on spiritual principles not on fear of alcohol.

Simple Program:
This phrase is derived from chapter 5 of the Big Book, 'Those who do
not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give
themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are
constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves.' AA is a
simple program for complicated people, so the saying goes. AA's
Twelve Step program is simple because it works simply: one Step at a
time and one day at a time. Simplicity in this sense, does not
necessarily mean ease. Working the program requires an unwavering
dedicated effort. Yet all the strength and willingness to work the
program is freely give to all those who sincerely ask for them.

Slip:
A common term for relapse- drinking alcohol again after a period of
sobriety in AA. The term is often used as an acronym as well:
S.L.I.P; Sobriety Loses Its Priority.

Slippery Places (and Slippery Faces):
Slippery places is a reference to actual places or emotional states
in which we are more likely to slip. These are, of course, to be
avoided if reasonably possible. Slippery faces refer to old drinking
buddies; the company of whom we should avoid as well. Another similar
term is 'old playgrounds and old playmates.' It is dangerous even
foolish to put ourselves in situations where we are likely to be
tempted by alcohol. Even if we believe we are now strong enough to
resist temptation, we best resist temptation by avoiding temptation
altogether.

Smith, Robert Holbrook, M.D. (a.k.a. 'Dr. Bob'):
1879-1950. Cofounder of Alcoholics Anonymous. Dr. Bob created the
first AA group in the world, AA Group Number One, in Akron, Ohio.

Sobriety Date:
Depending on who you ask; our sobriety date is the date on which we
had our last drink or the date in which we sobered up from our last
drink.

Speaker's Meeting:
An AA meeting featuring one or more designated speakers who share
their experience, strength, and hope for the entire meeting. The
speakers talk about what life was like before AA, what brought them
to AA and what their lives are like now.

Spiritual Awakening (a.k.a. Spiritual Experience):
The Big Book description is a, 'personality change sufficient to
bring about recovery from alcoholism.' It also describes it as
a 'profound alteration in [our] reaction to life,' and as
an 'awareness of a Power greater than ourselves.' The difference
between an awakening and an experience is that an awaking occurs over
time whereas an experience happens suddenly.

Spiritual Tool Kit:
This metaphor comes from chapter 2 of the Big Book, 'There was
nothing left for us but to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools
laid at our feet.' The tools to which it refers are the Twelve Steps,
reliance on a Power greater than ourselves, and prayer and meditation

Spirituality:


from Dictionary.com:
1. of, pertaining to, or consisting of spirit; incorporeal
2. closely akin in interests, attitude, outlook, etc.
3. of or pertaining to the spirit as the seat of the moral or
religious nature.
4. relating to the mind or intellect.

     From the Middle English Old French 'spirituel' or 'awareness of
the breath of life'. (American Heritage Dictionary)

A workable definition of spirituality for our purposes may be "one's
emotional relationship with unanswerable questions."

Sponsor:
For those who are fond of acronyms, a S.P.O.N.S.O.R. is a Sober
Person Offering a Newcomer Suggestions On Recovery. A sponsor is an
AA member who serves as a mentor of sorts to a newcomer in the
program. A sponsor typically helps a sponsee to work the Twelve
Steps; shares his or her personal experience, strength, and hope; and
helps the sponsee stay on the recovery track. Although not mentioned
in the Big Book, per se, sponsorship has become widely accepted as a
crucial part of the recovery program.

Step Study Meeting:
An AA meeting that focuses on a study of the Twelve Steps, usually at
a rate no more than one per meeting.

Steps:
See 'Twelve Steps.'

Stinking Thinking:
This phrase refers to an alcoholic's reversion to old thought
patterns and attitudes. Stinking thinking may include, blaming
others, alcoholic grandiosity, fault-finding, self-centeredness, and
skipping meetings. Stinking thinking is a warning sign to an
alcoholic that he is not working the AA program and he or she is
getting precariously close to their next drink.

Surrender:
To surrender in AA is to effectively take the first Three Steps. It
means: 1) admitting that we are powerless over alcohol and that our
live have become unmanageable, 2)coming to believe that a Power
greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity, and 3) turning our
will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him.
Surrender is the key to recovery. Only when we completely surrender
are we willing to let a Power greater than ourselves restore us to
sanity.

BB Authors, 1st edition -- Paul Stanley, Akron, OH.

Truth Freed Me!  -- Paul Stanley, Akron, Ohio.
(OM, p. 336 in 1st edition.)

Paul took his last drink on July 2, 1936.

He had first me Dr. Bob much earlier.  Dr. Bob formed the habit of
stopping at his house for coffee after office hours on Tuesday and
Thursdays.  At first, his topic was honesty, and after several trips
he suggested Paul stop kidding himself.  Then the topic changed to
faith -- faith in God.

Though he had stopped drinking, he was unable at first to grasp the
spiritual
program.  He was doubtful, fearful, full of self-pity, afraid to
humiliate himself.  This lasted until December 11th, when he was
faced with the absolute necessity of raising a sum of money.  He
approached a banker and told him the whole story.  He believed his
need was money, but the banker told him he knew something of what he
was trying to do, and believed he was on the right track.  He told
Paul that if he were right with God, he would do all he could to help
him secure the loan.

Paul had found reality.  His needs were met from another entirely
unexpected
source. He was profoundly grateful for the opportunities he had had
of seeing and knowing TRUTH.

In February of 1937 he brought his brother Dick ("The Car Smasher")
into the
program.

Paul did a lot of 12th step work.  He told one prospect, who
complained that he had no job, that he indeed had a job -- it was to
stay sober and work at this program.  That is a full-time job by
itself.  And he is known to have visited Clarence Snyder ("The Home
Brewmeister") often during his hospital stay.

Paul was close to Dr. Bob and went with him to New York for the
Rockefeller
dinner on February 8, 1940.  And it was Paul who convinced Frank Amos
(who
was sent to Akron by John D. Rockefeller, Jr., investigate A.A.) that
Dr. Bob needed financial help or would have to give up his work with
alcoholics.  Mr.
Amos reported that Paul said it would be criminal to lose Dr. Bob as
their leader, and suggested that Mr. Rockefeller confidentially
arrange for a monthly remuneration for Dr. Bob for a period of at
least two years.  Paul also got Dr. Bob's son, "Smitty," a job in
Cleveland working as a service manager for a tire dealer, after he
returned from military service in WW II.

It was Dick Stanley who was known as The Car Smasher.  But, sadly, it
was
Paul who died from a car accident on September 19, 1953.  Both
brothers remained sober until their deaths.

„« Over the last several years the chanting of
< the last phrases of How It Works at meetings
> in this area has become common.
>
> Is this practice common in other areas? What
> is its origin? I have attended meetings in
> several areas of the United States and Canada
> and have only heard it here.
>
> Tommy H in Baton Rouge, Louisiana

- - - -

Sadly this virus has contaminated meeting in
the UK too (and no doubt elsewhere); but since
this site is about elucidation rather than
condemnation, it would be good, as Tommy asks,
to have some information about how and why it
(chanting) started. Surely it didn't happen
in meetings in Akron and New York in the
early days?

Laurie A.

- - - -

From: Shakey1aa@aol. com (Shakey1aa at aol.com)

No chanting in Philadelphia, Eastern
Pennsylvania meetings. When reading the
promises "We think not" is spoken by all.

Shakey Mike Gwirtz
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

- - - -

From: bsdds@comcast. net (bsdds at comcast.net)

We did it in West Texas at a particular club
where "C. God could and would if He were
sought." The A. and B. portions are not
repeated, however. Altho I had never heard
that anywhere else and it is not done in the
meetings I attend here in Virginia, I
personally, like it, but I had never heard
the origin.

- - - -

From: "Bahh" <jongunnar@kbsu. tv>
(jongunnar at kbsu.tv)

I have seen this in some meetings in:

Iceland
England
Minnesota
Fargo North Dakota
Las Vegas
New Orleans

Different versions of it but some crowd parti-
cipation at all of them.

JG
New Orleans

- - - -

From: "Murray Eaton" <meaton1287@rogers. com>
(meaton1287 at rogers.com)

Chanting has become a disgusting practice here
in the Toronto area too. It has come into AA
from the NA circle. The same as the holding of
hands at the end of our saying the Lord's
Prayer here and some people doing some idiotic
recitical of a "It works if you work it and
you're worth it...blah blah blah....." and
they won't let go of your hand as they sway
back and forth. It's become a cloying ritual-
istic fetish filled type of AA that you begin
to understand why newcomers don't want to
come back to. After 30 years, I'm glad I don't
have to try and get sober again.

- - - -

From: "stevec012000"
<steven.calderbank@ verizon.net>
(steven.calderbank at verizon.net)

I got sober in the shadow of Father Martin's
Ashley in Maryland. Chanting was not the only
thing they were doing in 1989. They used to
shout back replies to How it Works:

"What's the Point?" the crowd would say

They would yell out the ABC's before the reader
would read each one.

This stopped there, but I still see it done
in other places.

- - - -

From: denezmcd@aol. com (denezmcd at aol.com)

It's common in SouthEast Texas

Dennis McD

- - - -

From: "CloydG" <cloydg449@sbcglobal .net>
(cloydg449 at sbcglobal.net)

It happens here in Bakersfield, California, too!

Clyde G.

- - - -

From: "Chuck Parkhurst" <ineedpage63@ cox.net>
(ineedpage63 at cox.net)

The last line of the "A, B, C's," "God could
and would, if he were sought," is commonly
"chanted" at almost every AA meetings in the
Phoenix area.

In Service with Gratitude,

Chuck Parkhurst

- - - -

From: "Bill Futral" <bfutral@gmail. com>
(bfutral at gmail.com)

My understanding of this after 20 plus years
is that it started in NA and has now moved to
AA. You are right in that it comes I believe
from treatment centers. I have found it
upsetting to me as it appears to be from
another 12 step program. I even said in my
home group when reading How It Works that I
didn't need any help with the last sentence.
Since then I have become a little more
tolerant. Would love input from others about
this as well.

regards,

Bill

- - - -

From: "Hugh M" <humbc@...>
(humbc at shaw.ca)

It is not a practice in the south-eastern part
of British Columbia. I have been to meetings
across Canada and have never heard it. I might
expect it in California where people are
thanked for their "share", often with clapping.

Hugh (a lurker in the West Kootenays of BC)

- - - -

From: "Elisabeth" <dunnelisabeth@ comcast.net>
(dunnelisabeth at comcast.net)

Here is Seattle/Auburn area is it getting
increasingly more common, but more so the
"We think not" part when we read the
promises. I know that it irks some of the
oldtimers here.

- - - -
„« `````````````````

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/FOBWi/

"Everything around us can teach us.
The difficult thing is, often we prefer
being the teacher to being the student.
But we can only really become the teacher
as we learn, gain experience, and then
demonstrate what we have learned.
The greatest teachers teach by example."
(John Roger)

```````````

http://www.ipass.net/~a1idpirat/readings.html

Recovery Recovered... No I'm not going to argue with myself. I was
thinking just yesterday. Is a newcomer a newcomer if they are not in
AA? Does a person have sobriety if they are not in AA or are they just
dry? I've been in and out of AA chat and AA newsletters for years and
never noticed some people who are not in AA using all the AA terms.
Should we set them straight or just let them talk. For me I'm going to
point out next time I have an email exchange with somebody who says, "I
have blank days sobriety but I'm not attending AA yet" that in My
[newly realized] opinion they can only have sobriety if a member of AA.

Thanks for the chance to share.

My name is Glenn, I am an alcoholic.  Only by the Grace of a loving
and forgiving Higher Power I have not found it necessary to pick up
one drink, one day at a time since August 14, 1978.  At the end of my
drinking career I had to have a couple of shots of liquor every two
hours or I would start shaking.  When I came out the alcohol induced
coma (I thought I was sleeping) I would crawl to the toilet and take
a sip of the Banker's Club Whiskey ($4.65/quart at the PA State
Store) and puke.  After about three attempts the next shot would stay
down and I would wrench myself up with the assistance of a stout mop
handle next to the toilet, stagger a few feet to the kitchen where I
would take a slug of Popov Vodka ($10.50 a half gallon).  Then I
would congratulate myself on my intelligence of only losing the cheap
booze and get on with my daily existence, which was defined by "what
are those B*****ds going to do to me today."

I did not have a "moment of clarity" that Monday morning. I ran out
of booze, money, and Bull***t at the same time.  I had made it from
closing time (2:00 AM, how cruel) until almost daylight nursing a six
pack of Schmidts Beer.  I headed into town and made it about half way
when I pulled into a phone booth and called a man that I'd fired
almost a year before because he'd gone over the hill and joined those
kooks in Alcoholics Anonymous.  We couldn't have a bartender that
didn't drink.  I'm told that I said, "Skip, I'm hurting really bad
and I need some booze."  One of the any miracles of that morning was
that his wife was a social drinker and had a bottle of vodka in the
house.  He said it took him 10 minutes to get to me, I thought it was
4 or 5 hours.

As soon as I had a couple of long pulls on the vodka bottle, I didn't
think that I was such a good Idea that I'd called him, however we
were going 50 miles an hour on the highway, I was granted the iota of
sanity that I needed not go get out of the van.  He drove me to the
emergency room of a hospital, leaned over, opened the door, and said
that's where you are going, pointing to the doors, pushed me out and
drove away.  I was sure this was the end of the world.  But it would
get worse.

After about a week in Detox a counselor (A "first generation
recovering alcoholic counselor" who had not forgotten whence his life
had come from) sat down with me in an office with a closed door and
made the simple statement "Glenn, if you drink again, you will die,"
looking me straight in the eye.  My thought then was that was the
ultimate "gotcha."  They had taken everything away from me, now I
could not drink any more.  I am fond, today, to say that I am alive
by default.  Making decisions, for me was (and is) extremely
difficult.  I wanted to commit suicide but could not decide how.

I would take another 18 months of not drinking, not changing, and
going to meetings before I was finally beaten into a state
reasonableness and accepted the second half of the First Step.  I
grudgingly and spitefully started working the 12 Steps of the
program, with a sponsor, and now over two decades later I am happy,
joyous, and free.  Although I was the poster boy for the
phrase "bring the mind and the body will follow" I am now very
grateful for even that season of my life.  I know first hand that
pain is a part of life--agony is 100% optional.

Don't Drink. Go to meetings.  Clean House.  Trust God.  Help another
Alcoholic.  Real simple now.  Twelve Words to a life beyond my
wildest dreams.  With hope and love HOPER !

Monday, February 2, 2009

My name is Nancy, I am an alcoholic. This is from chapter 7:
Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them
help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up
about you, to have a host of friends - this is an experience you must
not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with
newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives.

I remember in the beginning that feeling that I "had to" follow the
suggestions or I would surely drink again. I was so fearful of
becoming the person I had been, the one I didn't like. Afraid of
drinking again. I really wanted what "they" had.

It was at about 6 months of sobriety that I realized, "if I keep
doing what I'm doing, I'll probably be able to stay sober". After
awhile I was able to stop being so filled with fear of the drink and
I began to understand and appreciate what that paragraph in chaper 7
was saying. I was able to start to see the light come on in the eyes
of the newcomer, I felt like I could say something that would help
someone else stay sober and I realized that I was no longer lonely. I
had become a part of, instead of apart from. It sort of happened
while I wasn't looking.

I so appreciate the friends I have made in my sobriety. I thank you
for this group. I thank God for my AA friends, my sponsor and my
husband. You all have helped me stay sober and make it through some
troubles (usually of my own making...my mind is a bad neighborhood to
go into alone). I'm grateful .

(Soberly submitted by Nancy or Renton, WA) sday13@...




Please feel free to write, comment on, or pass the Morning Meds on at
anytime. Please submit new contributions to chpshots@....

Calendar of Events
Last updated January 29, 2009
2009 International events

January 23-25 Mangalore, India: 1st AA International Conv. AA
International Conv., Karnataka, Ground Floor, City Gate Complex,
Kadri Toll Gate, Mangalore 575 002, Karnataka, India.
E-mail: aaintconv@...
Website: www.aaconventionindia.com

January 23-25 Puerto Vallarta, Mexico: 7th Sobriety Under the Sun
English Speaking Conv. 827 Union Pacific, PMB 078-174, Laredo, TX
76045-9452.
E-mail: aapvconvention@...
Website: www.aapvconvention.com

January 30-February 1 Stockholm, Sweden: 12-Step Workshop.
E-mail: StockholmFellowship@...

February 6-8 Baguio City, Philippines: 27th AA Phillipines National
Convention. #13 Villamor St., Baguio City, Philippines.
E-mail: dinonymous@...

February 14-15 Kerala, India: 4th International Conv. Trivandrum
Intergroup Box 6810, Vanchiyoor P.O., Trivandrum, India
E-mail: aatrivandrum@...

February 19-22 Pattaya, Thailand: 14th Thailand Roundup. Box 1551,
Nana Post Office, Bangkok, 10112 Thailand.
Website: www.aathailand.org

March 6-8 Cork, Ireland: Cork County Area Conv. Kinsdale, Co. Cork,
Ireland.

March 27-29 Arecibo, Puerto Rico: 53rd AA Conv. of Area 77. Box
50491, Toabaja, PR 0095-0491.

March 13-14 George Town, Grand Cayman: 1st Cayman Islands Roundup.
Box 30367, KY1-1201, Cayman Islands, BWI.
E-mail: c4cab@...

April 9-13 Queensland, Australia: 2009 National AA Conv. Box 1179,
Milton, Queensland 4064, Australia.
E-mail: jodie@...
Website: www.2009aaconventiongoldcoast.com

April 24-26 Galway, Ireland: 52nd All-Ireland Conv. GSO, T. 01-
8420700 Unit 2, Block C, Snatry Business Park, Swords, Dublin 9.
E-mail: AFMDEM@...

April 24-26 Queidersback, Germany: 31st Roundup. CMR 402 Box 1547,
APO AE 09180.
E-mail: rolando-470@...

To All,
Sunday......7:35a.m.....1 Feb 09
      Darrell has been up and down since a fire destroyed his home on
Sunday 3 Jan 09.  Emotionally, Darrell has taken to
some "depression," which is really quite normal.  The fire left him
w/nothing.  However, he is alive and I took him to his liver clinic
appt. on Wed 28 Jan 09 at 10:30a.m....Per Dr.'s order, we drove to
San Francisco, on Thursday, and admitted him in the hospital so they
could settle him physically.  He has been having some issues
w/keeping his sugar under control, keeping his ammonia down and
keeping his diet to a regular, HEALTHY, daily regiment.  It has been
difficult, since living w/his daughter, in the house.  There diet is
not the same as his and it is for that reason that his sugar has been
difficult to keep track of.  This daughter has 5 children, one of her
days equals to 5 of mine.  God bless her!!!
      Anyway, Darrell was admitted here and his ammonia went up.
Praise God we were here and he "IS" in THIS hospital, as they know
how to treat him.  I've not seen him today, but did see him yesterday
and he looks good, he's just confused.  He cannot tell me what year
it is or how many grand-kids he has.  2009 and 11 grand-kids for
those of you who, also, don't know....lololol
      I will return tomorrow to see him and head home to Bakersfield.
The Dr. will call when he will be released and I will return to carry
him home, or possibly to stay w/me.  I must return to Bakersfield and
cannot stay w/him due to the spring semester starting and I must
attend.  I was able to get 4 or my 6 classes online but I do have two
I MUST attend.  These are crucial classes.
     I brought a girlfriend w/me so she could help w/the driving and I
could study in the car.  I am sooooooo grateful....
     I will close for now and get this sent.  As always, please keep
me in your prayers that God will keep me strong for my brother and
his daughters, my nieces.....
in spirit....
Sally

p.s....I drove to see Darrell last night and he is better, however he
is still not up to par as far as being totally aware of how many
grandkids he has or what year it its but he did wake up enough to eat
one of his popsicle.  I will be heading home today and returning when
I am called to return to pick him up and take him back home........


     It takes great courage to faithfully follow what we know is
true........
                                                   Sara E. Anderson

Today is February 1, 2009
A Great Day for Recovery!
  RELIGION
"We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make
us love one another."
-- Jonathan Swift
Religion is a powerful influence in the world, but so often
the "power" is negative. It has been used to judge, divide, separate
and control people; rob them of their freedom and creativity; chain
them to creeds and teachings that are not comprehensible.
Unfortunately, religion has become dull and lifeless for many people
and God's love is missed.

But the power of creative spirituality is alive in God's world. It
unites and frees the people so that they can be discovered in their
individuality. Difference is accepted, choice is respected and
healing is perceived in our ability to love.

Let me ever bring the gift of God's spirituality to those who have
misplaced it.

A.A.'s Spiritual Homecoming, November, 2005, St. Louis




The Man Nobody Knew When A.A. "Came of Age" at St. Louis in 1955
A.A.'s Spiritual Homecoming, November, 2005, St. Louis – It's Time
for Sam Shoemaker
© 2005 by Dick B.

● Rev. Samuel M. Shoemaker, Jr., the man nobody knew when A.A. "Came
of Age" at St. Louis in 1955

"There came to next to the lecturn a figure that not many A.A.'s had
seen before, the Episcopal clergyman Sam Shoemaker. It was from him
that Dr. Bob and I in the beginning had absorbed most of the
principles that were afterward embodied in the Twelve Steps of
Alcoholics Anonymous, steps that express the heart of A.A.'s way of
life." Alcoholics Anonymous Comes of Age. (NY: Alcoholics Anonymous
World Services, Inc., 1957), pp. 38-39.

● Significant comments from A.A. and Al-Anon literature about Bill
Wilson, A.A., and Rev. Sam Shoemaker

[Bill himself said:] "The early A.A. got its ideas of self-
examination, acknowledgment of character defects, restitution for
harm done, and working with others straight from the Oxford Groups
and directly from Sam Shoemaker, their former leader in America, and
from nowhere else." A.A. Comes of Age, p. 39.

"The Rev. Samuel Shoemaker helped lead early members toward the
spiritual principles embodied in the Twelve Steps." Pass It On (NY:
Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc., 1984), p. 128.

"While Bill was always generous in recognizing A.A.'s debt to the
Oxford Group, he would always tie the Oxford Group connection to Dr.
Shoemaker." Pass It On, p. 174.

"Bill's first three steps were culled from his reading of [William]
James, the teachings of Sam Shoemaker, and those of the Oxford
Group." Pass It On, p. 199.

[Bill himself said:] "Where did the early AAs find the material for
the remaining ten Steps? Where did we learn about moral inventory,
amends for harm done, turning wills and lives over to God? We did we
learn about meditation and prayer and all the rest of it? The
spiritual substance of our remaining ten Steps came straight from Dr.
Bob's and my own earlier association with the Oxford Groups, as they
were then led in America by that Episcopal rector, Dr. Samuel
Shoemaker." The Language of the Heart (NY: The AA Grapevine, Inc.,
1989), p. 298.

[Lois Wilson said:] "Bill and Sam Shoemaker of the Oxford Group were
very good friends. . . . For reasons of his own Sam became
disenchanted with the Oxford Group and resigned. Later, in 1955 and
1960, he made grand talks before thousands of AAs at the two
International Conventions celebrating the twentieth and twenty-fifth
anniversaries of their Fellowship. Sam was a great man, an
understanding, tolerant, inspiring human being, with a personality
that drew people to him." Lois Remembers (NY: Al-Anon Family Group
Headquarters, Inc., 1987) , p. 103.

● The definitive and detailed history of the immense role and
relationship of Shoemaker to Bill Wilson and A.A. is Dick B., New
Light on Alcoholism: God, Sam Shoemaker, and A.A. New. Rev. ed.,
Kihei HI: Paradise Research Publications, Inc., 1999.

● Appendix One contains a complete list of the Sam Shoemaker
Collection assembled by Dick B. in over 15 years of research.
● Appendix Two tells the story of how the Shoemaker collection is "on
tour" and presently being made available free of charge to viewers at
conferences and conventions throughout America.
● Appendix Three details the immense contributions of Sam Shoemaker
to A.A., Bill Wilson, & the Steps
● For additional information, contact Dick B., dickb@...;
www.dickb.com; 808 874 4876

©Dick B.

AN ANSWER
February 01, 2009 Story of the Day
February 1964

Vol. 20 No. 9


A LETTER
From Binghampton, New York

Dear Editor:

I have just read the December, 1962, issue of the Grapevine
containing the article "Phobias and other Phoolishness" by J. K. B.

I am going through a very difficult stage. I am a patient at a state
hospital and have phobias similar to those J. K. B. conquered. In
addition, I have a phobia of not being able to walk or go very far
away from home without getting panicky. Also claustrophobia.

Could J. K. B. give me some advice and encouragement which would help
me?

J.N.

AN ANSWER
From North Hollywood, California:

Dear Jim:

Your letter to the AA Grapevine was forwarded to me. Apparently the
article I wrote called "Phobias and Other Phoolishness" threw a
little light into the presently dark stage of your life. I say
presently dark because I know things will get brighter for you. How
can I be so sure? Because you've already demonstrated a desire to
face up to your problem and you have shown a willingness to do
something about it. In my own case, the moment I truly got this
attitude I was on the road to recovery. And right now, so are you!

Two thousand years ago that Great Healer said to a stricken
man: "Take up thy bed and walk." He did not say, "Here, let me carry
you." So the secret for getting ourselves healed is not just Faith
but also action. And this kind of action is exactly what we strive
for in the AA way of life. Our problems, like yours, often go far
deeper than addiction to alcohol. But the Steps of AA can be applied
to any problem. All you need do is practice them each day to the best
of your ability. I doubt if any of us ever practice them perfectly.
All that seems to count is that we keep constantly trying.

Other tools, coupled with the AA program, have proven of great
benefit to our members. For instance, you are now in a state hospital
where I'm sure experienced, dedicated doctors want to help you.
Psychiatrists have aided many of us with problems of fear and phobia.
In my own case, for some months after I'd found AA, I had weekly
consultations with a professional psychologist. These sessions were
not only helpful but pleasant. It was like going to a steam bath to
sweat out poisons; I left each session feeling strongly refreshed.
And with a feeling that I was doing something about my problems.

You speak of not being able to go far from home without deep panic--
and I know exactly what you mean. For long after I'd stopped drinking
I had a similar phobia. My fear, in fact, was so great that I was
often unable to drive my car to an AA meeting, or any place else.
Even the thought of a bus scared me. A few times I used a taxi but I
had to count the passing blocks until I reached the AA Clubhouse in
North Hollywood. When I got there, among new friends who understood,
I always felt safe. They gave me strong assurance that my troubles
would gradually vanish. Just stick with it, they said. And people
who'd been worse off than I was, gave me encouragement. Patience as
well as action is necessary, they said. But don't be discouraged if
you sometimes get impatient. Everybody does! Even my doctor (a normal
individual in every way) admits to periods of impatience and
depression. It's what we do about these periods, how we react to
them, that really counts in our striving for mental sobriety.

Claustrophobia is another common ailment. I had a lot of trouble with
this, in fact it still bothers me from time to time. But not like it
used to! Just lightly now, briefly, not enough to worry about. And
I've found that pouring out your troubles to understanding persons
tends to rob those troubles of their strength. This works in reverse
as well; you'll find yourself feeling much better each time you bend
a little effort toward helping someone else.

Another good tool, I believe, is a sense of humor. I've always had
this except during the dark period of an alcoholic and emotional
crisis in 1959. Of course it's easy to advise someone to laugh at
himself and his problems--not so easy to accept this advice when
you're really suffering. For example:

I'd been with AA for one week when a couple of members took me to a
stag meeting. At almost the start of this meeting a terrible panic
plus an attack of claustrophobia hit me hard. My heart pounded; I
broke into a sweat.

Several of the AA Boys at once took me out into the crisp night air.
We went for a long walk and they kept bantering jokes that didn't get
across to me at all; I was a bundle of fearful, gnawing tension.
Finally, Jimmy G. seemed to ignore me. He told a joke to the other
boys and I was surprised to find myself laughing. Jimmy G. gave a
joyous curse and said to the others: "At last we got a laugh out of
this grim-faced sonuvabitch!" Then he gave me a hearty slap on the
back, assuring me: "You are gonna get well, you're not one damn' bit
different from the rest of us!"

There's a lot of earthy truth in that. . .so be of good cheer. J. N!
You not only can get well, you will!

J.K.B.

People, Places and Things:
Prior to recovery, we depended upon people, places and things to make
us happy or to change our lives. In recovery, we take that
responsibility away from external events and place it on ourselves.
The Twelve and Twelve says, 'It is a spiritual axiom that every time
we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong
with us.'

Periodic:
An alcoholic who stays sober for a period of time, loses control,
goes on a spree, and then repeats the cycle.

Pink Cloud:
The temporary sensation of euphoria and well-being that is
characteristic to those who are new to AA and sobriety. For most, the
pink cloud eventually dissipates. This heralds the time to get down
to business and start seriously working the Steps.

Power Greater than Ourselves:
See 'Higher Power.'

Powerlessness:
See 'Lack of Power.'

Prayer and Meditation:
AA's Eleventh Step calls for 'prayer and meditation to improve our
conscious contact with God as we understood Him.' One common
distinction between prayer and meditation is this: Prayer is speaking
to God whereas meditation is listening for His answer.

Preamble:
See 'AA Preamble.'

Primary Purpose:
See 'AA's Primary Purpose.'

Principles Before Personalities:
This phrase comes from the Twelfth Tradition, 'Anonymity is the
spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to
place principles before personalities.' It is the principles of the
program, not its personalities, that guide recovery and keep us
sober. We rely on the Twelve Steps and their principles rather than
on one individual or group of individuals. Individuals, regardless of
how charismatic, are only human. Our ultimate reliance is on our
Higher Power.

Program, the:
This phrase refers to AA's Twelve Step program of recovery and, more
generally, to AA itself.

Progress Not Perfection:
This is a paraphrase of a sentence in chapter 5 of the Big Book, 'We
claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.' When we
try to do things perfectly, we are attempting to do the impossible.
The tendency toward perfectionism is merely a reflection of our
alcoholic grandiosity.

Progressive Disease:
See 'Alcoholism as a Progressive Disease'.

Promises, the:
See 'Twelve Promises.'

This story was published in "One Day
at a Time" Volume 2, Number 2, June 2005,
and passed on to me by "John Blair"
<jblair@wmis. net> (jblair at wmis.net)

The Joe [McQ] and Theodoshia story
Battling alcohol on the frontiers

by David Palmer

http://www.serenity park.org/ articlesJoeMcQ/ OneDayatatimejun e05.htm

[PHOTO CAPTION: Over the years Joe McQuany,
a recovering alcoholic, and Theodoshia Cooper,
a teetotaler, have shared a common interest
in helping people recover from alcoholism.]

Theodoshia Cooper is the real deal. When she
walks into a room in her three inch heels,
heads turn, and people who don't know her
whisper to each other, "who's that?" Theodoshia
is a "somebody," and when she arrived at
Serenity Park on a chilly, brilliantly lit
morning in early March, she caused the usual
stir. She was there to say a few words about
Joe McQuany's Serenity Home for Women project
— a new treatment facility in the making.
As Theodoshia, 80, looked down from the
outdoor podium at Joe, 76, who was seated
in the front row, it was a tender moment
and full of meaning for those who knew the
background. Forty-four years ago, Cooper
was the psychiatric social worker who
helped McQuany get sober at Little Rock's
state hospital. And together they helped
change the course of treatment for alco-
holics in the state, especially for blacks.
On one level they made an odd couple. Cooper,
a minister's wife, had never taken a drink
in her life and McQuany had been completely
enslaved by alcohol. Further more they were
miles apart in temperament — Joe quiet and
thoughtful, Theodosia, smart and sassy. What
they had in common was a strong faith in God
and an in tense desire to serve. And they
were, and remain, magnetic personalities.

Theodoshia goes to Yale after attending
a symposium on alcoholism at Yale University
the summer of 1961 Cooper reported for duty
at the state hospital in Little Rock where
McQuany, a recovering alcoholic, was one of
her cases. What struck Theodosia about Joe
was that "He was educated, and he wasn't
angry or defensive like the other black men
in the hospital." It came as no surprise to
her, she said, that McQuany would become an
internationally known author and teacher of
the 12-step program of Alcoholics Anonymous.
"He was a little too humble at first," she
said, "but he really knew how to work with
people." Cooper, worked side by side with
McQuany in his efforts to over come segregation
at the state hospital and in AA meeting rooms,
and helped him launch Serenity Park treatment
center where she also served as a member of
the board of directors. Today, Little Rock
alone has hundreds of AA meetings and is
widely known for its so-called "Little Rock
approach plan" of recovery.

The Country Girl

Cooper's country girl origins and rise to
positions of influence and respect in the
community is the stuff about which Broadway
plays are written — think" Hello Dolly" and
"Auntie Mame." She's got charisma. And that's
not all. She's got a brain. And a heart. And
there's a five-page resumι with all the
degrees and a long record of service and
caring for others to prove it. Born in
Jennie, Arkansas, a tiny southeast Arkansas
delta community in1925, Cooper was orphaned
at age 4 and went to live with an aunt and
grandmother in neighboring Eudora where she
was raised as an only child, worked in her
aunt's beauty shop, faithfully attended
church and went to the local schools where
she excelled. In her high school years, she
was class valedictorian, class president,
student council member, president of 4-H and
also basketball queen. During these years
she discovered her aptitude for leadership
and motivation as well as compassion for the
less fortunate of her classmates. "I always
sat with the kids who seemed to be hurting,"
she says. As for the boys, she says matter of
factly, "I was a flirt. I could get anybody I
wanted." Case closed.

Show biz beckons

During these days she experimented briefly
with local show biz, playing and singing with
a group of girls whose specialty was imitating
the pop singers of the time — the Mills Brothers,
the Inkspots and even the Andrews Sisters — a
bit of a stretch considering they were white.
After her high school graduation she went to
the University of Arkansas at Pine Bluff for
her freshman year and then transferred to
Arkansas Baptist College in Little Rock where
she graduated with a BSE degree. During this
time she also met and married Jobe Vaughn
Cooper, a Baptist minister. She began her
career as a science teacher at Eudora High
School and in succeeding years her bent
toward helping the disadvantaged led her to
special education jobs in Jacksonville and
Little Rock. When she wasn't teaching, she
took on social work research assignments in
the field in St. Louis for the Catholic Board
of the Children's Guardian and the Methodist
Settlement House. They took her to some dark
places where prostitution, child abuse and
drug abuse flourished, and this is where
Cooper's concern for the downtrodden and
disadvantaged had begun to focus on alco-
holism. During her working years she took
courses at a variety of colleges and univer-
sities — University of Arkansas special
education for the deaf, Eastern Michigan
College special education for handicapped
children, University of Oklahoma for special
studies on poverty and program planning for
the disadvantaged. And then came the summer
school for alcohol studies at Yale. It was
attended by the leading scientists and
educators in the field along with lecturer
Bill Wilson, co-founder of Alcoholics
Anonymous with Dr. Bob Smith, and author
of AA's Big Book and 12-stepprogram.

A concern for alcoholics

Cooper, who had come to believe that alcoholism
was a disability and a social ill of major
significance, ate up the course work and
became a pro-found believer in the transforming
powers of the 12-step program. She returned to
Little Rock with a heightened concern for the
suffering alcoholics in her home state and
there solve to do something about it. When
she arrived at the state hospital she found
that many of its operations were segregated.
For one thing, she was dismayed to find that
there was a separate ward for white alcoholics
but that black alcoholics and mental patients
were thrown together. She put pressure on
legislators and other officials to reorganize
the state hospital so that all patients,
including blacks, would get better treatment.
She and Joe also set about promoting the inte-
gration of AA meetings and helping blacks start
AA meetings of their own. In this she got some
help from three white men — Charles Clark,
who sponsored Joe for 32 years before he died
in 1993, Bill White and Neil Verdock — who
began a subtle collaboration aimed at turning
the meeting for blacks at the state hospital
into the state's first desegregated meeting.
It wasn't that difficult. The three men —
simply, and without fanfare — began attending
the meeting for blacks. Bingo.

Desegregation

Not everything went that smoothly. A group of
blacks in Dumas wanted to start a meeting with
the help of Clark in the local Masonic Hall,
and in their efforts to assist, Cooper and
McQuany, traveling in separate cars, were
threatened with arrest by state troopers.
Polite but determined, the two pilgrims
eventually prevailed. It took courage. "I
can talk, and I'm not afraid of anybody,"
Cooper says today, and in her full regalia,
including those three inch heels, she still
has the advantage, even at a very active 80
years, of being very attractive.

The first black meeting

The two founded the first black meeting at
Wesley Chapel across from Philander Smith
college and in the mid-'60s Joe started
attending some of Little Rock's white meetings.
After all these years, Cooper, who learned
the 12-Steps at Joe's quiet insistence,
remains a devoted supporter of AA which she
says, "is as close to church work as you can
get." Does she go to meetings? Nope, she says,
"They won't let me talk." Cooper, who retired
in 1987 as administrator, Division of Rehabil-
itation Services/Department of Human services,
may have slowed a step or two, but her zeal
for service remains undiminished. She serves
on many boards and helps with many causes.
Her latest is to help raise money to build
the planned woman's treatment facility at
Serenity Park. She plans to get in touch
with Oprah about it. Oprah will have her
hands full.

``````````````

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/FOBWi/

http://www.health.org/newsroom/

Hopi Indian Prayer

A Hopi elder speaks:

   "You have been telling the people that this is the Eleventh
Hour, now you must go back and tell the people that this is the Hour.

   And there are things to be considered
   Where are you living?
   What are you doing?
   What are your relationships?
   Are you in right relation?
   Where is your water?
   Know your garden.
   It is time to speak your Truth
   Create your community
   Be good to each other.
   And do not look outside yourself for the leader."
   Then he clasped his hands together, smiled, and said
   " This could be a good time! "

   There is a river flowing now very fast. It is so great and
swift, that there are those who will be afraid. They will
try to hold on to the shore. They will feel they are being
torn apart and will suffer greatly. Know the river has its
destination. The elders say we must let go of the shore
push off into the middle of the river, keep our eyes open
and our heads above the water. And I say, see who is in
there with you and celebrate.

   At this time in history, we are to take nothing
personally. Least of all, ourselves. For the moment that
we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt.

   The time of the lone wolf is over. Gather yourselves!
Banish the word struggle from your attitude and your
vocabulary. All that we do now must be done in a sacred
manner and in celebration.
``````````````

The two biggest changes in other people what I witnessed were in
talking to a newcomer at a South Bay meeting and when a crabby old
timer at the Marina AA Center had to have heart surgery.

The newcomer was sitting by himself about ten minutes before meeting
time. I was in a period of fasting and prayer. I spied him then
rushed up and sat in the chair next to his and said. "How ya doing?"
He said, "Terrible." Letting Higher Power guide my words I
said, "Good, I'm glad to hear that." The guy was bigger than me and
slowly turned with anger on his face. I'm thinking, why did Higher
Power have me say that. I'm going to die in about fifteen seconds if
some other words don't come forth. I [HP] thought of saying, "I'm
glad you're feeling bad because maybe with the Steps and the
fellowship of AA this is the worst you'll ever have to feel."  The
guy loosened up a little and began telling all that was wrong. Higher
Power didn't let me down after all. Cool huh? I excused myself so as
to get a cup of coffee. I turned around a couple minutes later and he
was standing, talking in an animated way in a group of people. I,
through Higher Power changed the guys life just by my letting go of
what to say..

The crabby old timer was someone nobody liked and he didn't like
anybody. He hated everything said from the podium and would sit in
the back pretending to read a newspaper. When he especially hated
what was said from the podium he'd rustle the newspaper. The guy
always wore a funny little hat too.

Then... he had to have open heart surgery. The next time I saw him he
was as normal as a normal AA can be. No anger, hatred, no newspaper
and no funny little hat. I wonder what happened to make that drastic
change

Honest Sharing

Hello all, When I came into recovery I couldn't identify with the
steps, but I did ID with your stories of the pain you were when you
got here. I wanted the pain to stop. You all began to tell me to
change the person I brought into the rooms of recovery. I didn't
know how to do that but I listen to you all share about the
powerlessness and the unmanageablity that came along with your
using. I then started to follow what you guys were doing(watching
your feet) going to denny's, burger king's, mcdonald's and you all
bought me coffee(cause I didn't have any money) and never asked me
to pay you back. You all began to tell me how your lives were and
someone did for as you were doing for me and when I got ready to pay
you back, you all stopped me and said find a newcomer and take them
to coffee and burger. You all didn't ask what sociey club I was with
nor did you ask were I was living, You just kept telling me to come
back and stay sober and clean. Thank you all for being here and
telling your stories because that's what lead me to the steps.

BB Authors, 1st edition -- Wally Gillam, Akron, OH. "Fired
Again."

Fired Again - Wallace (Wally) Gillam, Akron, Ohio.
(OM, p. 325 in 1st edition.)

Probably Wally first entered A.A. in May of 1937, but one source says
October
1938.  But after several years he slipped and had a hard time getting
back.

He was an engineer. He must have been handsome, one Akron member
described him as having iron-gray hair and looking like President
Warren Harding.

He described himself as a man of extremes.  When he learned to dance,
he had
to go dancing every night; when he worked or studied he wanted no
interruptions; and of course when he drank he could never stop until
he was drunk.  He started getting drunk before he was sixteen.

Wally must have been a good worker because he rarely had a problem
finding a
job, and often was rehired by the same company and given another
chance.  But
he was fired again and again.  He was once fired from the WPA (Works
Progress Administration, a Federal job program instituted during the
Depression of the 1930s.)

He was irritated by efforts to help him.  His family once persuaded
him to enter a sanitarium for thirty days.  He left with the firm
resolve never to drink again.  Before he left the sanitarium he
answered an advertisement for an engineer in
Akron and after an interview, got the job.  In about three months he
was out
of a job again.

Finally, a neighbor, who had heard of Dr. Bob's work, told his wife,
Annabelle, about it and she went to see Dr. Bob.  Soon Wally was
hospitalized by Dr. Bob and began his recovery.  About twenty men
called on him while he was still in the hospital.  He knew five of
them, three of whom he had never before seen completely sober.

Annabelle was at first was hard to convince that the program would
work, because Wally once brought home an A.A. member he had met in a
bar.  This was Paul Stanley ("Truth Freed Me!") during his slip in
early 1936.  Then her own doctor urged her to see Dr. Bob.  Finally,
her clergyman, J.C. Wright, got a woman to talk to Annabelle and then
made an appointment for her with Dr. Bob.  This was probably the
neighbor Wally talks about in his story.

Dr. Bob called Maybelle Lucas, wife of Tom Lucas ("My Wife and I")
and told
her to get hold of Annabelle or her husband would be drunk before he
was out
of the hospital two hours.  Finally Annabelle took Maybelle's advice
and let go and let God. Anne Smith also took her under her wing.

After his recovery, Wally and Annabelle took many alcoholics into
their home.  According to Bill Wilson, they had more success with
people they took into
their home than did Dr. Bob and Anne or Bill and Lois.

Wally was Dr. Bob's right hand man for many years, and when he
eventually
slipped everyone was shocked.  He had seemed to be doing everything
right and
working very hard.

Wally had been very hard on those who slipped and wanted to kick them
out,
which may explain why it took him a long time to get back, but
Annabelle dragged him to meetings.  He finally got sober again and
stayed sober until his death. His attitude toward those who slip,
however, changed.