Hi Karin,

You say he said he had no idea he had pushed you to your
limit. That indicates to me that he was fully aware of what it was he
was doing all the time. He will never change and until he learns that
when you say no you really mean no, then he will know he can just keep
pushing until you say yes. Don't do it!!!

All of us here who have managed to get away from our VAs know just how
hard it is to keep saying no in the face of the anger, the
name-calling, the tears, the begging, the guilt-inducing accusations.
But you just have to keep saying it.

I'm thinking of you tonight and sending positive energy and love your way.

Love and Light, Karen.

--- In End_Verbal_Abuse@yahoogroups.com, "Karin" <kmp1218@...> wrote:
>
> Hi to all,
>
> I've been logging on here for a few years now - posted once or
> twice. I've been with my VA for over 28 years, married for almost
> 24. I didn't realize I was being verbally & emotionally abused until
> about 4 years ago (how does that happen?) but now I reread a journal
> I started 27 years ago and it's very apparent that it's been
> happening since almost day 1.
>
> My struggle is this: 2 weeks ago (Super Bowl Sunday) my VA blew - he
> pressed every one of my buttons he could think of and kept at it. I
> decided then and there that that was it. The next morning, I called
> an attorney and by the following Friday had filed for divorce. I
> told my VA 8 days ago and he got a letter informing him of such
> action 5 days ago. I had no idea how he'd react and he was actually
> relatively cool about things. He was a little angry, then pleading
> some and then practical (well, we'll have to sell this and that and
> split everything up).
>
> Now he's started pleading with me to not go through with the
> divorce. He says he'll do ANYTHING to make things right. He says
> he'll change. He says he had no idea that he had pushed me to my
> limit. He says he doesn't want to lose me and on and on.
>
> It took me 28 years to muster up the courage to tell him and now I'm
> beginning to think twice about it. I know he won't change...I know
> it! But all this pleading forces me to tell him over and over again -
> and it's so hard!
>
> I'm just looking for a little support here - any wise words you can
> share will be greatly appreciated.
>
> Thank you in advance.
>