How frightening for this poor woman …….How many more would there be that
we don’t know about? May God Bless them in everyway they need

With The Kindest Regards from the Desk of Angelina Brelih

-----Original Message-----
From: End_Verbal_Abuse@yahoogroups.com
[mailto:End_Verbal_Abuse@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of AZTerri@...
Sent: Friday, 19 January 2007 1:52 AM
To: End_Verbal_Abuse@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: Ending Verbally Abusive Relationships: More advice Re:After
Filing a Re...



Wow, the last time we had a target here who had to be this cautious -
she
went "underground.-" Took her kids and completely disappeared. She
indicated
prior to leaving that this was the ONLY solution to her predicament,
poor woman.
Based on what she wrote, as far as I recall, her ex husband:

used to handcuff her to the bed and rape her with objects (i.e., beer
bottles);

almost took her eye out, broke her jaw, etc. while beating her
unconscious
on more than one occasion;

held loaded guns to her head;

tried to strangle the dog;

tried to set the children's bed on fire (with them in it);

slashed her tires;

tried to run her off the road;

stalked her and would be seen peering through her new apartment window;

ad infinitum.

She claimed that it wasn't that no one tried to protect her, but that no
one
COULD protect her. Unfortunately, she didn't often have much evidence,
and
any evidence she did have only put him jail for so long. They couldn't
keep him
indefinitely for rape or assault, for instance, just like they can't
keep
any other rapist or assaulter indefinitely.

Last I heard she told a member something to the effect of: "This is such
a
wonderful group, but no one can help me. I just needed someone to talk
to
before I leave for good. My only choice, for the safety of my children
more than
anything, is to go underground.-"

I think about her and her children often, and pray for them, because
something else she stated really rang true: "As long as he knows where
we are, if he
really wants to get us, he will. No one can stop him. Even if the police

guarded our apartment 24/7, he'd still find a way to kill us."

Free Terri


In a message dated 1/18/2007 7:41:41 AM US Mountain Standard Time,
HYPERLINK "mailto:imahappyfrog%40msn.com"imahappyfrog@-msn.com writes:

Again, from personal experience:

For the cost of $20-50 you can buy a stun gun. They are the size of a
garage remote, run on a 9v battery, yet mine carries a charge of 600,000
volts.
It will do no permanent damage and will drop your attacker in 2 seconds.

Check you local laws. In Oregon they are completely legal and do not
require a
license or a wait period. Keep out of reach of children or the immature
adult.

Changing the children's school will not work. Under FERPA he has the
right
to their school records no matter what the restraining order stipulates.

(unless he is a registered sex offender). Make sure that your children's

schools are listed on the restraining order and supply the schools their
own copy
to be added to the "confidential file".

Buy a pocket tape recorder and carry it with you every where. Check you
local laws for "wire tapping" guide lines. In Oregon you do NOT have to
tell
some one you are recording them EVER.

Know your restraining order! Don't let your abuser use lame excuses to
contact you. If your order stipulates NO contact, he may NOT call to
talk to the
kids. Check with your local DA Office and confirm this before you need
it!

Check your car every time you drive. Make sure there are no puddles of
fluids under it or wires/cables/-hoses hanging loose. Take a picture of
your car
on all sides before you are keyed. AAA is a good idea!

When you sign up with a home security company, make sure they know of
the
restraining order and any threats you have received. Keep them updated.
With
many companies this will flag your account as a high risk. It won't cost
you
more, but it will alert them to act fast.

Call the Federal Trade Commission and the credit reporting agencies and
put
a fraud alert on your social security number.

Call ALL financial institutions and inform them of the circumstances and

request passwords for all you accounts. Also if he has joint accounts,
request
a freeze on all activity. They They will normally only do this for 3
days,
but it should give you enough time to fax them a signed statement. If
you
can write down your account numbers, cut up your cards and mail them to
the
creditor with a signed statement that any in-person charges from this
date
forward are NOT make by you. He won't be able to get out of spending
sprees.

Talk with your children. Make sure that you have a safety plan in place
and
that they understand it. Agree on a password that is only used in an
emergency as in a situation when they are under duress. If they are on a

visitation and things are going terribly wrong, communicating a
"harmless statement or
password" will alert you to call the authorities.

Don't take anything for granted. Read, research and talk to your support

groups.

May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions.
~Joey Adams

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