Surviving Abuse

Many people believe domestic violence only happens to certain types of
people. But physical and verbal abuse in the home exist in every racial,
religious, and socioeconomic group in the United States. If you are a victim —
or you
know someone who is — take the following steps to stop the violence.

Realize it’s not your fault. Abusing someone is a choice made by the abuser,
not the abused. Those who are violent toward family members do so to gain
power and control. Nothing the abused spouse has done or can do justifies or
excuses the violence. And while certain things may seem to trigger an
abuser’s
wrath, no one DESERVES to be a victim of physical violence or verbal assault.

Tell someone about your problem. Most victims of family violence are silent
about their abusive situations. They fear that telling others will somehow
betray their spouse or embarrass them. Even though your abuser may have made you
feel otherwise, those who love you WILL understand your fears. If you don’t
have family or friends you can depend on, contact a local women’s shelter.

Be prepared for your abuser to paint you as being the abuser yourself to
friends, family, new dating partners, law enforcement, etc. Abusers can do this
for any number of reasons, but it's not uncommon for this to be the result of
denial. Many abusers really do believe that you are or were the abuser, and
they the victim, so naturally this is what they will tell others about you.

Get out of the abusive situation. Even if you want to try to work things
out, finding a shelter or a friend to stay with will stop the abuse right away.
Leave quickly and without discussing your departure with your violent spouse.
If you are in fear for your safety or your children’s, contact your local law
enforcement agency to find out what steps to take to get a restraining order
against your abusive partner.

Get help. Support groups and intervention programs can help you heal from
the tremendous psychological and emotional damage caused by abuse. As your
wounds heal, you need help to heal your emotions as well. Contact your local law
enforcement agency for recommendations of intervention programs and domestic
abuse counseling services in your area.

Get help for your children. Though your children may not have been
physically harmed, seeing the abuse of someone they love is a traumatic
experience,
and an abuse of its own kind. Also, the most common risk factor for adult
domestic violence is witnessing this type of abuse as a child. Stop the abuse
cycle by helping your children understand at an early age that violence against
a
family member is ALWAYS wrong and that every human being deserves to be
treated with respect and dignity.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves: who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people wont feel insecure around you.

We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
Its not just in some of us, it is in everyone." - Marianne Williamson


Fallen Officer Kenneth Collings
_http://hometown.aol.com/azterri/kenny.html_
(http://hometown.aol.com/azterri/kenny.html)






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