"Unless you're talking about severe cases, it does not make much sense to
talk about who is the abuser and who is the victim. Most people can more or less
take on both roles at different times, or can take on a different role with a
different partner. No matter which role they are in, victims and abusers are
not being fair to themselves, let alone to their partner. " DR Irene
http://www.drirene.com/quandary.htm
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